“You’re either laughing or you’re crying, choose” is the army slogan that comes to mind in these troubled times. I’m going to choose humour or else I’m not going to make it through these next four years.
How I feel right now is most aptly described by my friend Andy Lehrer: “Trying to decide between ‘this is a One thing is sure, like the 76% of Canadians who also didn’t vote for the Conservatives, magnificent victory for the left’ and ‘OMG we’re fucked’?”
Honestly, I’m still trying to sort out my emotions regarding the results of the parliamentary Opposition parties.
I can sum up my feelings like this: Dear Harper, I hate you so much right now (doing her best imitation of Kelis screaming the chorus). Seriously, watch the video and try it. It will help take the sting off.
Wow, that felt really good, eh? I’m glad I got that out of my system! Because I’m kinda pissed.
It’s not just any old benign Conservative that won this election, it was Stephen Harper — the man who basically gave Canada the finger and still got a majority mandate (no, I won’t say “majority vote” and oh man, do we ever need proportional representation right in this country. )
For one thing, I cannot believe that Bev Oda won not (NOT) her riding! What the hell? Seriously, back this bus up!
Also, I’m disappointed that there wasn’t more coverage of the fact that PM Harper broke Election Canada’s blackout rules by campaigning on the radio on election day.
Actually, I’m surprised by a lot of “mis-calculations” the polls and pundits perpetuated during the election campaign, which made the possibility of a Harper majority seem out of reach. I think a lot of us out there were watching our shock and blood pressure rise when the Conservatives captured the majority. But despite Green Party Leader May being kept out of the official elections debates, she did win her seat in Saanich-Gulf Islands, B.C, a first for Canada.
Yesterday, as the election polling results started to trickle in, I was wondering whether Count Iggula was able to raise (“Rise Up!”) the 800,000 strong, Liberal zombie hoard he needed to vote for his party. I have to give him credit, though, for his grace during his “defeat speech” and why he waited until the next morning announcing his resigned.
I must say, regarding the blue deluge in Ontario, Dalton McGuinty must be freaking out right now.
I’m impressed with the NDP’s results. I can’t say I’m not and I’m sure I’ll feel better about it in a few days when the shock of the Tory majority wears off and I can see more clearly. I woke up this morning not a “happy Jack camper” but feeling like I had the worst hang-over of my life. Kinda like I went to the bar and spent $200 on drinks without the night ending in me getting laid.
Because to be honest, I am concerned/upset about vote splitting. I’m not going to blame one party or another right now but I do feel it had a big impact on these results.
However, I do remember in 2008, when the Liberals held the majority of power on the “left” and there were discussions of a NDP-Liberal merge with the NDP as the beggars and the Liberals as the choosers. How things have switched. I wonder what kind of Chimera-Left these election results will inspire.
On the bright side, I’m impressed by the orange wave that has pooled in the Greater Toronto Area; hopefully this will put some pressure on Ford Nation. Maybe [this is a completely hypothetical suggestion and not to be taken literally] someone will pull a drive-by on Rob Ford’s house and pelt it with oranges.
Although I’m not so sure about the NDP’s new MP Ruth Ruth Ellen Brosseau who, though winning in a rural Quebec riding where an estimated 85 per cent of the residents speak French, does not speak fluent French herself. Oh ya, and she also went to Vegas for a holiday smack in the middle of her campaign. Hey, Jack, can I have a job?
As for the Bloc, and the resignation of Gilles Duceppe, I can only say I thought Duceppe’s worst political moment was when he wore that hair net. I guess I was wrong. The Bloc Quebecois has been in power for over 20 years, I wonder if the Separatists will again blame this defeat on “money and the ethnics.”
Others joked, “Even my rez car has more seats than the Bloc!”
#Elxn41
I did learn a lot from Twitter during this election, including the fact that the majority opinion on Twitter (judging by the comments and the general freaking out whenever the Conservative seat number peaked over 155) does not reflect reality. I ask myself, are Conservative voters not online? #Fail
I also want to note that many Tweeters (is that even a word?) flouted the Elections Canada blackout ruling during the election using #tweettheresults. Other more shy Tweeters described a election race between “Red, blue, orange and green smarties” or “Flames, Senators, Canucks and Nordics.”
I’m not sure how much ground Elections Canada can stand on when even the CBC broke election Canada rules by reporting and tweeting (that’s you, Mr. Rex Murphy) before the reporting blackout was lifted. Now I know why someone suddenly cut the feed and CBC went off the air just before 9:30 p.m.
Some of the better Tweets of this election:
“pbryan Paul C. Bryan: Conservatives ███ █████ in ███ ridings. Liberals ███ █████. NDP █████ ██ ███ ███ seats! #elxn41 #tweettheresults“
“scottowilliams Scott Williams: You know that hot girl with the asshole boyfriend, everyone wonders “What does she see in him?” Yeah, we’re that. #cdnpoli #elxn41“
“danspeerin Dan Speerin: After #ElectionDay our electoral map looks like the giraffe from the Friendly Giant #cdnpoli #elxn41 http://twitpic.com/4swyo1“
“laurelrusswurm Laurel L. Russwurm: @wikileaks2 Canada’s Day of Rage didn’t happen either #elxn41“
Now with the NDP as the Official Opposition in Parliament — a first for the party — I am hoping they will help us activists fight Harper’s policies with their new found power and cash (the $2 it earned per vote).
Layton’s promise to us: “Thank you all for the support, energy and trust. Now it’s time to roll up our sleeves and get to work!”
[Don’t break your promise to us, Jack. But forgive me if I’m cynical about politics and Parliamentary democracy in general, preferring myself to support community workers and activists to bring about change.]
As for me, I’m still holding out hope that Harper will fall into the tar sands and disappear.
In the meantime, Sartre and I are gonna be out back drinking cheap beer and plotting the revolution.
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