Drew Hayden Taylor in the Globe for Canada Day

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Maysie Maysie's picture
Drew Hayden Taylor in the Globe for Canada Day


Maysie Maysie's picture

White people, here's your one-time Canada Day special: Native people apologize back!

We hereby apologize for being so inconsiderate as to occupy land that, one day, your people would want. Even though we did not have a postal system or an Internet, this was an inexcusable oversight. We hope you are enjoying it.

We apologize for having so many politically correct and incorrect names for you to call us - everything from native to aboriginal to first nations to wagon burner to status-card number 48759375876-1.

In retrospect, to make things easier for you, we should have stayed in India, where we were originally thought to have come from. Unfortunately today it is really hard to get decent palak paneer on the reserve.

We hereby apologize for not understanding the subtle connections between God, children and sexual abuse. Some are still struggling with appreciating this association.

They are forgetting that, early in the Bible, it says, "Let there be white. And it was good."

We apologize for wanting rights to minerals and other natural resources that exist beneath our feet. When you negotiated for our land, you meant to the Earth's core.

We did not fully comprehend that when we were put on reserves where our rights to the land only went two or three feet below the surface.

Anything that falls down a sewer grate basically belongs to the Federal Government.



Parental advisory warning: Do NOT read the comments under the article.  Don't do it!  You know you're tempted, but just don't do it.

Great article.  How on earth did it get into the Globe?  I guess they wanted some fresh meat for their white supremacist fanboys in the comments section.

Maysie Maysie's picture

Ack. Michelle, I never read the comments. This adds to my mental and physical well-being.

Hayden Taylor is one snarky cookie.


Most comments sections in newspapers are about as thoughtful and salient as scribblings on bathroom walls. I also don't bother.


Drew Hayden Taylor wrote:
We hereby apologize for not understanding the subtle connections between God, children and sexual abuse. Some are still struggling with appreciating this association.

This is an observation with a more general application than the context here.

kropotkin1951 kropotkin1951's picture

I couldn't resist.  If any of you want to know why we have a Harper government read them.  A really good way to get a sense of the fascist mindset of the G & M readers is to sort them by the highest score.  All the high scores are racist drivel.  One of the comments that had a 55 score and was thus the fifth highest was removed for being racist and had a 95 to 40 vote for thumbs up to racism.

The article was cheeky and I agree that the editors probably ran it to give the white boys and white boy wannabes some red meat on Canada Day.,

kropotkin1951 kropotkin1951's picture

And the winner of the comment most hated by racists.

wizardofeaze wrote:

OMG the BEST frigging Canada day article I EVER read. WOW u did it. As the racist gays (some of the most racist people in the world) celebrate outside and the booze and drugs brought from city grants are celebrated here in Toronto (I can hear the music in my condo) I read this article. The best start of Canada day weekend.
And since we are in the spirit of apologies, lemme apologize on behalf of northern territories, Nunavit and Yukon for demanding same rights as Alberta, Ontario and Atlantic Canada already have regarding royalties as this will mean the racist establishment in Ottawa will not be able to divert Canada's riches that belong with the Indian people cannot be diverted to lazy racist native white Canadians.
I would also like to apologize on behalf of uN for highlighting homelessness and hunger in native communities as all the money meant for social programs is diverted to White officials. You see those officials are needed to monitor and ensure that the money goes back to those who don't have a right to it. We natives can live in conditions worse than Tibet and Mangolia (who have both progressed economically as China has invested in them). And yes untouchables in India too have more progress than we did.
Happy Canada Day


On Canada Day  -  by Kim Petersen


"Should you love a country that was stolen from its Indigenous peoples?"


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sknguy II

I applaud Taylor for expressing his frustration about our often absurd experiences as Indigenous people. I suspect that a read through the comments would be fruitless and futile. Racism's nothing less than a grotesque and monumental waste of our ability to think. Seriously... just a friggin waste.


absurb experiences is right.

pretty  funny stuff. never heard of him before.

i found the comments pretty funny too. in a dfifferent way. but...the lack of factual knowlege and awareness is sad. and i found myself feeling sorry for their pathetic asses.

think those people keep themselves stupid so they don't have to face what they are. i mean "indian wars" were lost in Canada? only the most ignorant would believe those fabrications.




National Aboriginal Day in Esquimalt