babble is rabble.ca's discussion board but it's much more than that: it's an online community for folks who just won't shut up. It's a place to tell each other — and the world — what's up with our work and campaigns.
Alternative Christmas carol lyrics
December 8, 2009 - 8:17pm
The more juvenile the better! I'll start:
We three kings are really square / trying to sell cheap underwear / real fantastic / no elastic / won't you buy a pair
I don't remember all of this...but here goes...
"Hark the Eaton's angels sing
Pricetags here on everything
Don't think twice the cashier smiled
Debt and credit reconciled"
Maybe someone else remembers the rest of this.
There is also the old stand by Jingle Bells Batman smells Robin laid an egg Batman's in the kitchen.Over the hills we go, smashing into trees.
The snow is turning red.
I just cracked my head.
Join me, if you're dead.
Robin's in the hall.
Joker's in the bathroom, peeing on the wall. or something like that
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ftld7Ohojg
---
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFo4jbqe_2Y
--- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSvsy11PHxM&feature=related --- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnG8nOK7nqM&feature=related --- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rflsHvtTTGw&feature=related --- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptP0OR-e7rI&feature=related --- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJY2TVicH2Q&feature=relatedBookish, I remember that one as:
Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
Batmobile lost it's wheel
And Joker got away
Ah, the juvenility.
Maysie I obviously grew up much more juvinelle than you. Nothing says 11 year old boy humour like a pee joke.
"While shepards washed their socks by night all seated round a tub.
An angel of the lord came down and they began to scrub...."
And the Batman smells version I sang was
"Jingle Bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
Blow your nose with cheerios
And flush them all away
Hey! "
I had no idea there were multiple instances of "Batman Smells." I heard Maysie's and its singular uniqueness soothed my childhood soul.
I'm afraid I'll have to disagree with that statement. Poop jokes and fart jokes say "11 year-old boy humour" just as much.
Speaking of 11 year-old boys - my boy just turned 11 today! Well, tonight, to be exact. :)
Mines 11 too! 12 in a couple of months, funny, haven't heard much about "girl germs" lately.
but he sure likes talking me into a corner when discussing the reality of Santa.
Wish him happy birthday for us Michelle, and slip a whoppee cushion onto his chair.
chipmunks roasting on an open fire;
jack frost picking at your nose;
it's been said many times, many waayyyys
Hairy Christmas, Hairy Christmas too you.
I'll be Cloned for Christmas,
There'll be three of me;
One to Work, and One to Shop,
And One just for Parties.
Christmas Eve, I'm certain,
I won't be alone;
I'll be home for Christmas,
Or else I'll send a Clone!
I remember my father singing
'Hark, the herald angels sing,
"Beecham's Pills are just the thing.
Peace on earth and mercy mild,
Two for man and one for child."'
Apparently this was the text of an actual advert (ca. 1940?) for Beecham's Pills, which were needed to digest the lethally stodgy English cooking of the day. Just in case you thought there was ever a golden age of tasteful advertising.
I guess North-Central Regina was a tough neighbourhood when I was a kid, because this is the version I learned:
Jingle Bells
Reindeer smell
Santa Claus is Dead
G.I. Joe, the Eskimo
Shot him in the head.
According to my kids (girl 8, boy 11) the lyrics are:
Sledding through the woods
On a pair of broken skis
Over the hills we go
Smashing into trees (ow! ow! ow!)
The snow is turning red
I think I'm almost dead
I woke up in the hospital with stitches in my head!
Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an' Kalamazoo!
Nora's freezin' on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!
Don't we know archaic barrel,
Lullaby Lilla boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolley Molly don't love Harold,
Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!
Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Polly wolly cracker n' too-da-loo!
Hunky Dory's pop is lolly gaggin' on the wagon,
Willy, folly go through!
Donkey Bonny brays a carol,
Antelope Cantaloup, 'lope with you!
Chollie's collie barks at Barrow,
Harum scarum five alarum bung-a-loo!
(NOTE: Diligent researchers, including the esteemed
folk-lorist, Professor Jiggs Potlook, have also unearthed
the following partial verses. We make no guarantee
for their authenticity. For further research, kindly
consult Kelly, Walt; Deck Us All With Boston Charlie,
Simon and Schuster, 1963.)
Duck us all in bowls of barley,
Hinky dinky dink an' Polly Voo!
Chilly Filly's name is Chollie,
Chollie Filly's jolly chilly view halloo!
Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Double-bubble, toyland trouble! Woof, Woof, Woof!
Tizzy seas on melon collie!
Dibble-dabble, scribble-scrabble! Goof, Goof, Goof!
Tickle salty boss anchovie
Wash a wash a wall Anna Kangaroo
Ducky allus bows to Polly,
Prolly Wally would but har'ly do!
Dock us all a bowsprit, Solly --
Golly, Solly's cold and so's ol' Lou!