The Grumpy Thread

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G. Muffin
The Grumpy Thread

 

G. Muffin

These are some things that make me even grumpier than usual:

- people who use "dialogue" as a verb
- commission salespeople, like the Telus guy I was inflicted with recently
- real estate agents ("It's a great time to buy, sell, everybody on the block move down a house, yeah!")
- the word "values"
- left-lane hogs who only move over if they want to turn right

Anyone else? I'm sure I can think of some more.

M. Spector M. Spector's picture

I can tell I'm gonna like this thread.

Unionist

- Listmakers.

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

I'll dialogue with most anyone as long as the subject is interesting. [img]tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

G. Muffin

quote:


Originally posted by unionist:
[b]- Listmakers.[/b]

- put down artists

Tommy_Paine

Ah, Unionist, there is no vermouth in your martini. [img]wink.gif" border="0[/img]

I had to pick up Snarfy the wonder girl from school today, stop at Dairy Queen for her Friday treat, drop her at home then do some quick shopping for a recovering Rebecca West. Surprisingly, driving in London on a Friday was not the usual nightmare of slow left lane drifters, and post modernist interpretations of traffic signals and other rules of the road.

Instead, I my grumpyness was sent into overdrive when, in fullfillment of my quest, I tried to find a specific kind of yogurt.

There are too many kinds of yogurt. Sugar added. Sugar free. Fruit bottom. Fruit mixed. Pro biotic. Amature biotic. Omega plus. Sugar free pro biotic maxi overnight with wings.

And, you know, and I know, it all probably comes from the same vat in the same yogurt factory.

Fucking yogurt.

M. Spector M. Spector's picture

I've noticed that, too! Just the other day I stood in wonder at the supermarket, looking at the vast proliferation of yogurtoid foodstuffs that take up tens of metres of refrigerated display space. Three years ago there were like three brands of yogurt and they took up less shelf space than the processed cheese slices.

Unionist

Cheap restaurants - women servers.

Expensive restaurants - men servers.

All restaurants - male cooks.

What kind of sexist society is this?

viigan

-pop culture
-it's seemingly mindless adherents
-all shows and printed material related to pop culture
-monopolies
-old farts that impose the speed limit by hogging available lanes I could easily speed on
-travolta
-stop sign cops - you know, the ones lurking behind a parked car on a side-street, waiting for you to roll a stop sign even slightly on your way to work so that you spend the next ten hours of your life working off the ticket they slapped you with - fuckers.
-rich, white, suburban kids in expensive cars who have pretensions to the gangbanger lifestyle of the ghetto.
-collectors - dentists who buy $50 000 guitars but can't play a lick; comic book collectors who never read their books so that they don't lose their 'mint' status.
-Gretzky Folgers commercials. Really, who gives a shit what the great one has in his cup?!
-wolf blitzer
-cole calling a Habs game

lagatta

People who oppose bicycle lanes and tramlines.

Those who make ageist comments... (against young or old).

The bicycle lane story refers to a recent town hall meeting in Outremont, a wealthy district in Montrйal (long an "inburb": traditionally Westmount was seen as the rich anglophone inburb and Outremont the rich francophone one, though of course reality is far more complex in both cases, and the ridings by those names both include poor areas) where several people, including a CTV tv host, were opposing building the path for "safety" reasons - but of course actually because it would reduce parking spaces - though most houses on the street affected: Cфte Ste-Catherine, have driveways or parking behind. There was one woman calling cyclists "utopists", another who said people only cycled three (3) months out of the year. Gaaaah!

The lane is well under construction though. Usually after such kerfuffles even the naysayers come round to seeing it as a good idea. Like the businesspersons in Toronto opposing the St. Clair streetcar line.

Michelle

quote:


Originally posted by M. Spector:
[b]I've noticed that, too! Just the other day I stood in wonder at the supermarket, looking at the vast proliferation of yogurtoid foodstuffs that take up tens of metres of refrigerated display space. Three years ago there were like three brands of yogurt and they took up less shelf space than the processed cheese slices.[/b]

I KNOW! I did the same thing the last time I bought yogurt. Here's what I was looking for: a package of yogurt that had SOME vanilla in it (because my son likes vanilla) and that DOESN'T have some flavour I dislike.

They have about eight BILLION combo packs of yogurt now. Every brand has them, and many different types of combos. Most of the combos have some flavour in it that I hate, like peach. It seriously took me about 10 minutes to find a combo package that I wouldn't end up wasting - eventually I found one that had strawberry and vanilla.

Tommy's right. Fucking yogurt. That should be my location line.

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

- no connecting road from the Lower North Shore of Quebec to the rest of Canada. [img]mad.gif" border="0[/img]

janfromthebruce

- people who say that all things happen for a reason
- people who say that there is always a silver lining
- People who say that God doesn't give us more than we can handle

Feeling dark.

Timebandit Timebandit's picture

Teachers who are more concerned with obedience than knowledge.

Principals who can't admit they've fucked up and vastly underestimate your intelligence.

Accounting.

The possible need for a larger office space -- yeah, it's a good thing, but also a pain in the butt.

Bureaucratic paperwork.

Too much cat hair, ailing Roomba.

TVParkdale

quote:


Originally posted by janfromthebruce:
[b]- people who say that all things happen for a reason
- people who say that there is always a silver lining
- People who say that God doesn't give us more than we can handle

Feeling dark.[/b]


Here's some more incredibly stupid lines to say to someone who feels flucked up:

"It will all come out in the wash"
WTF? Never had mustard on your white shirt or what?

"This is for your own good"
Fluck off. If it was good for me I wouldn't need YOU to suggest it.

"I understand"
No you don't. Because if you did, you'd know how close I just came to punching you square in the face and you'd have already run out of the room screaming.

"Oh, don't you know that medication is dangerous?"
Yes, you utter no-mind. And it would be a lot more dangerous for you if I forgot my morning dose.

"I don't mean to hurt your feelings but..."
Then shut the fluck up.

"I don't want to tell you what to do.."
Then don't.

"Be grateful to God for all you have!"
Dear God:
Thanks for the cockroaches. Tell them to move the furniture so I can vacuum under the desk. Thanks for the warm bed full of bedbugs. PS: This month, could the cheque come on time so I don't get evicted?
By the way, the joke's on you. I'm an atheist.

Polly B Polly B's picture

Reality Shows.

TVParkdale

quote:


Originally posted by Polly Brandybuck:
[b]Reality Shows.[/b]

Game shows
False News
Shopping Channel
TV Psychics

[img]rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]

janfromthebruce

People who say that God needed another little angel after your child dies.

Caissa

"At the end of the day..." (Makes Ms. C. cringe.)

"And so on..." (Our mayor's favourite way of not knowing when to end a sentence.)

BetterRed

quote:


Originally posted by janfromthebruce:
[b]People who say that God needed another little angel after your child dies.[/b]

In the same spirit:

People who say that God has a gender, or that IT is in some way acting human.
"Im telling you God is a she"
Not likely..

TVParkdale

quote:


Originally posted by janfromthebruce:
[b]People who say that God needed another little angel after your child dies.[/b]

People who utter that kind of crap when others are grieving deserve to be the test dummies for taser experiments.

Just ahead of people in the lineup who say,
"It's been [time frame]. Get over it."

[ 27 October 2008: Message edited by: TVParkdale ]

TVParkdale

More idiot sayings that drive me to my Drambuie bottle:

"Empowerment"
Someone either has power or the situation or they don't. Nobody can hand over power. The person can only be *encouraged* to use what power they may possess within the circumstances.

"Self-esteem":
What IS that exactly? Nathanial Bransdon coined the term in the 1950's about how scar victims felt after they had corrective surgery. Did nobody have any until the 1950's? Can it be measured? Can the numbers be punched into an excel table? How do you tell if someone has it, or does not?

"Mental Health"
Say whut? Define that in concrete terms. I dare ya.

"Issue":
The ubiquitous word that gets thrown around instead of the correct noun, as in, 'It's a political "issue"'. Now, is it a political problem? A policy? Tactic? Disgrace? [insert proper noun HERE]

"Challenge"
Used by highbrow professionals who don't want to upset anyone by saying "Problem" thus demeaning the importance of said problem. Problems can be solved. Problems can be ignored. A "challenge" is the Boston marathon which is voluntary--not a life problem/struggle/difficulty that requires planning and resolution.

"Homeless"
A catch-all word for people who live in some fashion that society finds morally reprehensible or pathetic. Everyone lives *somewhere*, even if it's a heating grate. They may be "de-housed", "couch-surfing" "shelter residents, squatting on public or private land, "alternatively housed", but if they're a citizen--this IS "home".

Timebandit Timebandit's picture

quote:


Originally posted by janfromthebruce:
[b]People who say that God needed another little angel after your child dies.[/b]

OMG. I can't fathom that. [img]eek.gif" border="0[/img] [img]frown.gif" border="0[/img]

TVParkdale

quote:


Originally posted by Timebandit:
[b]

OMG. I can't fathom that. [img]eek.gif" border="0[/img] [img]frown.gif" border="0[/img] [/b]


It goes in the same box with [after a miscarriage]
"It was for the best. Something must have been wrong"

Some folks are thick
[img]frown.gif" border="0[/img]

G. Muffin

Bitter old crone to her friend after her friend's husband passes away: "Better through death than divorce."

Michelle

quote:


Originally posted by G. Pie:
[b]"Better through death than divorce."[/b]

Well, it's cheaper that way.

G. Muffin

quote:


Originally posted by Michelle:
[b]Well, it's cheaper that way.[/b]

[img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img] You have to admit that's beyond tactless although certainly trumped by the "little angel" business.

Michelle

Yes, indeed. [img]wink.gif" border="0[/img] Tactless, but true!

Actually, I didn't notice the context of the thread for that comment - I thought you were just posting a one-liner joke and I was riffing on it. But if someone actually DID say that, it would be awful!

And the "God needed another angel" thing - oh man. There's nothing like platitudes like that to make it worse for people. I'd rather someone just say, "I'm so sorry for your loss."

[ 27 October 2008: Message edited by: Michelle ]

TVParkdale

quote:


Originally posted by G. Pie:
"Better through death than divorce."

Well, it's cheaper that way.


[img]eek.gif" border="0[/img] And now, the reply from the goddess of totally tactless...

...

....and ya get to keep all your shit.

[img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img]

G. Muffin

quote:


Originally posted by Michelle:
[b]Yes, indeed. [img]wink.gif" border="0[/img] Tactless, but true![/b]

Didn't mean [b]you[/b] were tactless! Was referring to the original comment. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Michelle

Not at all! I just wanted to make sure no one thought I was making fun of something hurtful that was said to them, that's all. [img]smile.gif" border="0[/img]

TVParkdale

quote:


Originally posted by Michelle:
[b]Not at all! I just wanted to make sure no one thought I was making fun of something hurtful that was said to them, that's all. [img]smile.gif" border="0[/img] [/b]

I think I caught the play.

Now where's my mitt?

[img]tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

janfromthebruce

quote:


Originally posted by Michelle:
[b]Not at all! I just wanted to make sure no one thought I was making fun of something hurtful that was said to them, that's all. [img]smile.gif" border="0[/img] [/b]

Nope, but don't you worry God has a plan for all of us - it's written in the big book in the last section.

[img]rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] I guess that makes God a murderer - oh my [img]eek.gif" border="0[/img]

[ 28 October 2008: Message edited by: janfromthebruce ]

TVParkdale

quote:


Originally posted by janfromthebruce:
[b]

Nope, but don't you worry God has a plan for all of us - it's written in the big book in the last section.

[img]rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] I guess that makes God a murderer - oh my [img]eek.gif" border="0[/img]

[ 28 October 2008: Message edited by: janfromthebruce ][/b]


Oh yeah, the "god has a plan" and/or "think of this as a learning experience"

"Think of it as a learning experience"
REPLY: Yes, it IS a "learning experience".
I learned you are an azzhole.

"God has a plan for us"
REPLY: So did Hitler. He wrote a book about it, too.

"There's brighter days ahead"
REPLY: Yes there is. Praise be to global warming.

"Every cloud has a silver lining"
REPLY: Sure there is, you just keep huffing those jet fumes.

[img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img]

[ 28 October 2008: Message edited by: TVParkdale ]

Lost in Bruce County

Gosh, it sounds like what you grumpy thread people need a Care Bear Stare.... ohhh I'm just kidding.

Things that make me grumpy:

a) People who gossip about TV shows - like OMG get a life. At least gossip about real people.

b) NDPers who vote Liberal. Don't give me your excuses honey!

c) Self-proclaimed environmentalists who shop at Choices Markets and Capers. Dorks. The same vente corporations own these grocery stores. And if you think their over-priced organic food, shipped from a far away impoverished continent, somehow contributes to sustainability, well my friend, they're blowing steam up your arse.

d) People who get so caught up in ideological warfare that their arguments completely lose contact with real people and real lived experiences, i.e. poverty, inequality, human rights violations. These annoying ranters generally frequent blogs and university classrooms - particularly grad schools.

e) Problem Junkies: people who dedicate the vast majority of their life to identifying problems and barriers without offering up any solutions or alternative directions. Again these people flock in blogs and universities.

f) People who say something can't get done. Most times it can be done... it's just not your priority but you don't want to admit that.

g) Following point (f), people who think the economy and economic instability is natural, socially acceptable, and inevitable. Darling it's time to take responsibility, break the habit and join AA - Accounting Anonymous. Watch Zeigeist II (free link on line) and get off your arse, join an activist group or start one, and do something about it. Word.

TVParkdale

quote:


Originally posted by Lost in Bruce County:
[b]

f) People who say something can't get done. Most times it can be done... it's just not your priority but you don't want to admit that.

.[/b]


Or....

The real reason it "can't get done" is because, "It's just NOT done THAT way"--because it might upset the rich, or the bureaucracy or the people who poverty pimp off the problem.

I am now glaring viciously at your Care Bear.

[img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img]

janfromthebruce

quote:


Originally posted by TVParkdale:
[b]

Oh yeah, the "god has a plan" and/or "think of this as a learning experience"

"Think of it as a learning experience"
REPLY: Yes, it IS a "learning experience".
I learned you are an azzhole.

"God has a plan for us"
REPLY: So did Hitler. He wrote a book about it, too.

"There's brighter days ahead"
REPLY: Yes there is. Praise be to global warming.

"Every cloud has a silver lining"
REPLY: Sure there is, you just keep huffing those jet fumes.

[img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img]

[ 28 October 2008: Message edited by: TVParkdale ][/b]


So going along with the grumpy theme, God/New age reasoning is just the flip side of the same coin.

When people say: on some level the [insert person] must have wanted to die!

It goes with the learning part. We are all here to learn. What did you have to learn from your experience? or

The [insert loved one here] completed their learning and thus are going to a higher plane and don't have to stay here anymore.

janfromthebruce

quote:


Originally posted by TVParkdale:
[b]

Or....

The real reason it "can't get done" is because, "It's just NOT done THAT way"--because it might upset the rich, or the bureaucracy or the people who poverty pimp off the problem.

I am now glaring viciously at your Care Bear.

[img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img] [/b]


One carebear coming up to stare at:

[img]http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gala-e/carebear15.gif[/img]

martin dufresne

People who stop talking in mid-sentence... every time.

G. Muffin

People who finish off a sentence with "... do you know what I mean?" Because, no, I don't know, and I doubt you do either.

The "everything happens for a reason" people. Boil it down far enough and it becomes "everything has a cause."

When you say "I don't dream" and people say "Yes you do, you just don't remember them." How the hell would they know?

BMI indices. They only use height and weight as inputs so how much of an improvement are they over the old charts? This is a constant irritant to me because, according to the charts, I'm a fatty, but I'm just not! What bureaucracy decides these things? What about people who have unusual bone density, muscular mass, etc.? Are they consigned forever to be "fat," according to some Government-mandate?

People at the grocery check-out who say "Oh, yeah, I just forgot ... whatever" and hold up the line.

Propane tanks. Who decided it was "safer" to have the threads go the wrong way?

TVParkdale

quote:


Originally posted by janfromthebruce:
[qb]

One carebear coming up to stare at:


I know there is dynamite SOMEWHERE beneath this pile of dvds...

[img]http://lh3.ggpht.com/_TVVDdbRQQfg/SCx8HrN8XhI/AAAAAAAAGEc/0oFam8rfW6M/vo...

[ 28 October 2008: Message edited by: TVParkdale ]