The "I hate Christmas" thread, deluxe edition
December 13, 2011 - 11:45am
Continued from here.
An essential part to any nativity scene.
A Caganer...is a figurine appearing in nativity scenes in Catalonia and neighbouring areas with Catalan culture such as Andorra, Valencia, Northern Catalonia (in southern France) and the Balearic Islands. It is most popular and widespread in these areas, but can also be found in other areas of Spain (Murcia), Portugal and southern Italy (Naples). The figure is depicted in the act of defecation.
Just another reason for homage to Catalonia.
By George, I think you've got it.
http://www.thestar.com/news/article/1101295--fiorito-so-sorry-we-ruined-your-christmas?bn=1
Dickens would have drooled at the opportunity to cast Harper as Scrooge.
First Collector: At this festive time of year, Mr. Harper, it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the poor and destitute.
Stephen Harper: Are there no prisons?
First Collector: Plenty of prisons.
Speaking of Harper, Santa has a message for Steve:
I've spoken to the Godfather about your participation in these threads Boom Boom. Fred is sending someone to Kegaska to have a lttle chat with you.
I thought the vist would have a peel.
http://www.wherewillsantalive.ca/
The tree is half decorated so far after nearly a week of looking at it standing there. My only shopping to date consists of a quick trip to a novelty store, and the purchase of several mini-bongs for stocking stuffers. The stockings have yet to be hung by the fireplace. The weekend will need to be a do all or die trying blitz. I'm figuring it'll be best to leave the trip to the liquor store for last.
It's one huge skating rink here - we've had a crazy week of warm weather (for December) followed by rain and extreme cold. Very, very dangerous to drive a wheeled vehicle, so I'm using my long-track skidoo instead of the truck to get around.
I'm really disappointed in the happy tone this thread has taken.
I hate Christmas
This guy expresses the thread sentiment well:
We're putting the tree up Saturday afternoon. The shopping is completed. We only need to hang the stockings with care. Having one child who still believes in Santa makes the season fun.
So, keeping with the thread theme, he'll find a piece of coal in his stocking?
We gave our sons coal a few years ago. It was coal shaped gum. You can buy the real stuff at our local science shop.
LOL! You have a good response to everything!
My youngest son want's a violin this year. I thought why not? He could learn as I read polling and leadership threads.
I actually have a soft spot for the Sky Digger's cover of Good King Wenceslas but I never fully understood why it was considered a traditional Christmas song other than it being in winter and about an act of Christian charity. Maybe the Feast of Stephen is around the solstice?
Anyway, I stumbled on to this very amusing reflection on the meaning, at a site called Reflections on Ethics - The Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic - "we don't know and we don't care":
Consider the poor man, the object of the king's charity. He shows up in front of the king's castle gathering winter fuel. What fuel is he gathering? Wood from the ground? Not likely - the snow covers the ground "deep and crisp and even." Perhaps he is gathering animal droppings for fuel - but dung must be dried to burn, fresh and frozen will not work. And he lives "right against the forest fence." All the fuel he needs is available right out his back door. So, why has he travelled three miles from his home to gather fuel? Either he is putting on a show hoping to attract the king's charity, or his act has been prearranged so the king can publicly put on an act of charity.
As for the king, what does he do? After identifying where the poor man was from, he calls for meat, wine, and logs. Logs! After seeing him gathering fuel, after learning he lives next to the forest, the king somehow decides pine logs are what the man needs. Surely, if the peasant is somehow not allowed to collect wood from the forest, the king has the power to authorize it. But no - he decides that carrying pine logs three miles would be of assistance. Then there's the meat. Again, the peasant lives next to the forest. Surely, game is readily available. If hunting is forbidden to peasants, a royal decree would solve that problem. But no - carry logs and meat three miles to a place that these things are easily obtainable. Then there's the wine. Perhaps it will dull the senses, but it does not alleviate poverty.
Really, if you truly wanted to help a poor man, you would take some effort to determine his needs. Perhaps clothing, money, or even changing the laws that keep him poor. But, apparently the king knows best - meat, logs, and wine, irrespective of actual need.
Now how does the king get the gifts to the peasant. Does he call him to the castle (he's right outside) and give them to him? No - he wants to see him dine. Then does he invite him into the castle and sit him down to a hearty meal? No - that would be too easy. He waits till the man is out of sight, and sets off with his page to make the delivery himself...
No one has mentioned mistletoe yet.
The pain of one distracts from the pain of the other?
For the last time Boom Boom: This is the I HATE Christmas thread. What part of "hate" don't you understand?!?!? Sheesh. Take that happy crap elsewhere, dude.
Add in the sound of forehead knocking on keyboard and you see the kind of effect I'm reaching for.
Fuck Christmas. (I think the writer of that blog is my soulmate)
Fuck Christmas: the song
Now, THAT's what I'm talkin' about.
Hee hee.
For Ms. Maysie Humbug:
Christmas Died?
Christmas died
because the rightwing tried
To stop Our side
from pointing out the fact
The ONLY one claiming
that Christmas died
Are the very same stooges
who own the news media
In which Christmas is sold cheap
starting in July!
And we're ALL sick of it
before Santa puts on his beard
and the reindeer fly!
Catchfire, I've called the Fashion Police, they're on their way to getcha. This would be the only time I'm pro-police brutality.
Catchfire, Maysie, you guys are too funny for words.
Psychological warfare!
http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/regions/asia-pacific/south-korea...
Laine lowe,
The feast of Stephen is cleberated on Dec 26 in the Western Church and december 27 in the Eastern Church.
As in Vancouver = Western and St. John's = Eastern?
Product of Trinity College, I see.
Good one!
As much as I hate Christmas, I love this album:
I was listening to Dianna Krall's Christmas album in the car yesterday.
Nothing like a skatting Jingle Bells before playing street hockey with a bunch of 10-13 year olds. I'm sore today.
I've never liked Diana Krall. Can't stand Elvis Costello, either. I need the funk, or at least a beat.
Boom Boom don't make me link to Jingle Cats. Just don't.
Too late. Jingle Cats sing the most vile Xmas song EVER.
Try this one too. Xmas has gone to the dogs. Hee hee.
Merry Christmas to all! May the peace, love, and tolerance taught by Jesus through his life be inspiration to everyone.
I normally don't steal from other posters, but:
Love it, Abnormal!
Double post.
I don't get it. Do Creationists believe ceratopsians lived 2000 years ago? And donkeys didn't?
Hanukkah starts tonight.
Happy holidays, all, including those who hate them!
And just wait till 2016, when Hanukkah begins on Christmas Eve. Talk about culture clash.
People will be able to hate 2 festivals for the price of one.
I expect this is in order, since it is pissing on the plum pudding:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdalBvgNAxI&feature=related
I'm not sure I can bring myself to hate Hanukkah. I used to spin a mean dreidel.
Gambling on Babble? I suppose it could be a progressive form of taxation.
Well, to repeat my favourite line from the Rocky Horror Picture Show, 'how sentimental".
Come on man, this is the hate thread. I like latkes and tzimmes too, but I didn't know celebrations of slaughter were off limits. You get the bumps like everyone else.
Just giving you the gears of course. Happy Hannukah.
Gambling on Babble? I suppose it could be a progressive form of taxation.
Hey, that could make for a good promo:
"You can't bet on babble - but you can sure bet on babble!"
Or maybe not...
Thanks Smith, and the same to you and yours.
Hei, I'll have Nun of that Unionist.
HOW could I have forgotten about Festivus?
The tradition of Festivus begins with the Airing of Grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you're gonna hear about it!"
....
George, stop crying and fight your father.
Now I can celebrate!
Did someone mention Hanukkah?
Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deil?
Bowser from Sha-Na-Na and Arthur Fonzerelli
One more note on Hannukah...
In our kids' holiday school production Hannukah was the only festival that featured people going at it with swords, but the hora that followed was by far the flashiest dance number in the whole show.
And I'm not playing favourites, because my kids were doing Kwanzaa and the Russian Nutcracker ballet scene.
And I should say, coming from Winnipeg, the Hannukah scene is mighty thin here in Saskatoon.
On CBC "In The Field" this afternoon - men who don't buy christmas presents, and the women who enable and cover up for them:
http://www.cbc.ca/inthefield/
I've timed myself. One hour represents the outer limit of my tolerance for the shopping experience, after which the aisles start closing in, a tunnel forms, and the idea of curling up in the fetal position while sucking on my thumb doesn't sound half bad.
All I wanted was a tree stand. I called Zellers the other day and they had one left. I asked to have it placed aside and that I was heading over. The crowds, lack of staff and confusion over the stand had my pressure rising. I decided then and there to bite the bullet and buy whatever gifts I needed that day, knowing that it would just get worse over the next few days.
Yesterday at the supermarket, I was shocked by how empty the shelves were. There is only so much I can muy and fit into my backpack but I have a sinking feeling that they won't be restocking until after Christmas. It's like shoppers go into survivalist mode in preparation for the holidays.
There's been years when the supply ship arrived here on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, and on other holidays - so we just put everything aside and get our stuff at the two stores while we can - because, regardless of whether it's a holiday or not, the stores have to remain open when the supply ship gets in. It's not like we have any choice in the matter. Because of this reality I've done my weekly grocery shopping on Christmas Day in the past.
I'm eating supper on both Christmas day and Boxing Day at my sister's house. Maybe it is time that I started hating Christmas.
Christmas is kinda getting on my nerves too.
Well you get your pink slip on Monday. It's a shame about the processing times for EI these days.
There ain't no Sanity Clause.
Santa doesn't work enough hours to qualify for EI.
If that doesn't turn folks into grumps, I don't know what will.
Being offered crappy Christmas cake does it for me. Grump, grump, grump.
I have a Godot tree ordered but I am still waiting. F##K! Guess a spruce (deciduous conifer) will have to do.
I don't really hate Xmas, I was just afraid to go back into the Anti-imperialist thread.
Lol, Genl. Need humour to get through this time of year. I'm so proud nobody gives me gifts anymore. I give them the grincheye.
In the spirit though, for free, I can wish my love and best wishes for babblers in this new (western lunar) year. Have at it folks!
eta: The kids still get spoiled just no adults in my Festivus.
My contribution to thread drift; Merry Xmas to all, and to all a goodnight.
We've gone all out this year, with flavoured rolling papers and new pipes as stocking stuffers.
Something makes Boom Boom grumpy! It's a Festivus miracle!
Now, where's that mistletoe?
Finally someone's thinking of the children.
Something makes Boom Boom grumpy! It's a Festivus miracle!
LOL! Hard to be festive when you've been served truly awful Christmas food, but I try.
Now, where's that mistletoe?
CNN reporting a shortage of mistletoe this year due to droughts in the SouthWest.
It's a Festivus miracle!
"George, stop crying, and fight your father!"
I enjoy Christmas, but this resonates in my home today.
From New York to Baghdad
There was more bombing in Baghdad today, and dozens of people were killed. My heart wants to be light, but it is heavy.
What annoys me most about the Christmas season are the annual whiners in the media who complain about the imaginary "War on Christmas". It must come from their own sense of insecurity. There's a hint of religious supremacy about the whole thing as well. Christmas dominates for two entire months of the year. What's to feel so insecure about? I wrote this satirical piece on my blog in 2005 and thought it might bring cheer to Maysie's heart. .
Polunatic's War on Christmas
Do they know it's Christmas?
Yes we do
After 28 years of silently tolerating it, a group of unemployed local musicians have joined forces to release a Christmas single, entitled ‘Yes we do,’ in response to the Bob Geldof inspired Band Aid song, ‘Do they know it’s Christmas?’.
When asked why the ensemble of African musicians, who have called themselves Plaster Cast, had taken so long to come up with a response to the Band Aid song Gundane said it had taken a while for them to realise that it wasn’t actually an elaborate joke.
“We kept waiting for them to laugh,” he said, “But the punch-line never arrived.”
Gundane said he hoped that his involvement with the song would turn him into an expert on British politics and economics in the same way ‘Do they know it’s Christmas’ had turned Geldof and Bono into the world’s leading experts on Africa.
“If I’m not sharing a platform with the Queen and David Cameron by this time next year; or headlining at Glastonbury, then I will have done something very wrong,” said Gundane.
Will they likewise raise millions of pounds for relief with the new song?
On CBC "In The Field" this afternoon - men who don't buy christmas presents, and the women who enable and cover up for them:
http://www.cbc.ca/inthefield/
Ooooooh, great clip, thanks for sharing!
I thought it was kind of funny that the person narrating/interviewing the women was a man. I'd love to know whether he buys his own gifts... :)
In some marriages I've seen, the women love to shop, so the men abdicate and the women wouldn't have it any other way. I, on the other hand, hate shopping. It's a chore unless I know exactly what I want. And then it's still a chore. (Unless I'm shopping for fun stuff for myself, like art supplies.)
In my case, RR will shop if he has to - and we've done gift shopping together in the past. But he would do it on December 23rd. (Hey, that's today!) And I would be on pins and needles, knowing that if it didn't get done and we were empty-handed, it would reflect on me, not him.
On the other hand, there is way more gift-giving, and more expensive gift-giving, in my family than his. So I buy for my family, which is the vast majority of the shopping. And we often go together to get gifts for my kid. But this year, because I was so on top of my shopping and did it in early November, I did pretty much all the shopping. He did manage to buy a gift certificate for someone this week. And I ASSUME he got my gifts. (Note the plural...kidding!) Anyhow - it's not much of a bone of contention for us.
I think that women for whom this is actually a problem in their marriage should just STOP BUYING THE GIFTS. Say, "This is your job this year. Have fun!" Or, if you don't want to dump it all on him but want him to share the burden, refuse to go Christmas shopping unless he comes with you. And if he comes with you and plants himself on a bench at the mall, plant yourself next to him until he's ready to get up and help.
And if he doesn't do it at all, and you think you're going to be judged about it by whomever you're visiting (which of course you will be), then just say to your husband, "Okay, I'm not visiting so-and-so because I'm not going there empty-handed. But you go ahead. Tell them whatever you like about why I can't make it, and why you've come empty-handed. Have fun!" It'll usually be his family anyhow. Go visit your own family and bring the gifts you got or made for them. And in that little "from" line? Just put your own name there. Done!
Lol.
Actually, he's kind of missing the point anyway. The question has always been "What does Christmas have to do with it?"
Thanks for that, Freedom 55! Every time I hear that song on the radio, I cringe. "Do they know it's Christmas?" Yes, of course, because everyone in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD celebrates Christmas, no matter what religion they are.
Yes, they raised a lot of money with the song. Doesn't stop the lyrics from being offensive.
"Feed the wo-orld! Let them know it's Christmas time again!" Um, if "they" are Christians, then "they" already know. If "they" are of another religion, then why assume that they should know or care when Christmas is?
My late momma's Christmas cake was actually the only one I've ever had that was worth eating; she added quite a dollop of brandy to each, and everything was cooked through. Dark Christmas cakes can sometimes be gooey - perhaps not cooked enough? - while light Christmas cakes can be crumbly in the middle - overcooked? Regardless, it's a hell of a lot of sugar (including candied fruit) in those things, and I'm trying to cut down on my sugar intake. Having said that, one of my neighbours dropped off a Christmas platter for me, with her homemade cakes and cookies - which I've put in the freezer for later. Hers are usually quite good, I'd say as good as what Mum used to bake (written while ducking the thunderbolts from above).
Christmas is the one time of the year when I have to be really careful with my diet - because too many good things will kill me.
Just caught the end of the PM's Christmas message on CBC - he says - 1) Canada is now more united than ever; 2) at this time of the year, let us remember the less fortunate; and 3) let us remember our men and women in uniform.
The main problem I have with this message - so similar to all Christmas messages from Prime Ministers - is that we should be fighting for the less fortunate amongst us every week of the year, and especially improving social policy - not just thinking of them at Christmas.
Well, I cannot name my friend (for fear of his murder by religous fundamentalists) but he noted that Christmas is one event in the religous festivals of an absurd zombie worshiping (think easter) religion. This probably explains the popularity of the living dead series on TV. It seems to be a decendant of the original indo-european religion. They just killed off most of the gods to leave a 3 headed one. What else. Virgin birth. Well, Zeus was a bad philanderer too. Disguised himself as all sorts of animals to get it on. What miracle stands out? How come Mary didn't get stoned for cheating on hubby? I have no problem with people believing in a God. But lets keep it reasonable and have a little logic going on. Virgin birth is for aphids, some rotifers, maybe some fish and certain snakes and Lizards. But we can rule it out for horny young ladys.
How is that for grumpy.
Using Santa Claus to teach kids that the military is your friend and the paranoia of "homeland security" can be fun.
@ Brian White
As a matter of fact, when the fundamentalists really ran things (Cromwell's England) they banned Christmas for over 20 years because they knew as well than as we do now about its pagan roots, and also because Catholics had incorporated all that non-scriptural merry-making into the festival.
They replaced it with a day of fasting and sober glumness.
Puritans in the Americas did the same thing in Boston.
I think Jehovah's Witnesses also refuse to celebrate Christmas.
I went looking for a link to the anti-Band Aid song,
Yes we know it’s Christmas.Had no luck finding it. Anyone have a link?
Happy Tipsy Eve!
Did they ban easter too? And Wine and Wafers? Seems to me that the whole thing is pagan stuff tacked onto the Jewish religion to make it more culturally acceptable and therefore more marketable.
@ Brian White
As a matter of fact, when the fundamentalists really ran things (Cromwell's England) they banned Christmas for over 20 years because they knew as well than as we do now about its pagan roots, and also because Catholics had incorporated all that non-scriptural merry-making into the festival.
They replaced it with a day of fasting and sober glumness.
Puritans in the Americas did the same thing in Boston.
You might want to get a rabbinical opinion about how Jewish the new faith was, even before it got taken over by Costantine.
The story of Peter's dream in Acts, in which he was told that the sacrifice of Jesus did away with a lot of the law, is a good place to start. And of course, Paul was really the one who made it all over in his own image.
And as for the Puritans, nope, they didn't like Easter either, and they banned church marriages. They didn't like very much about other people's beliefs.
http://www.apuritansmind.com/the-christian-walk/easter-the-devils-holida...
I read a passage in a biography of Elizabeth I about just how arrogant, intolerant and annoying some of the more zealous Puritans were - going into other churches and throwing over the pulpit, sounding rather like some modern fundamentalists - except that they seemed to know better what was actually written in the bible.
Of course not all people behaved that way . Elizabeth'sforeign minister Francis Walsingham (who was an early practitioner of modern espionage and intelligence) was a Puritan.
I think Jehovah's Witnesses also refuse to celebrate Christmas.
I went looking for a link to the anti-Band Aid song,
Yes we know it’s Christmas.Had no luck finding it. Anyone have a link?
I was looking for the link in the article or something, but I think it's just a satirical article like ones from the Onion. It's pretty great, though!
You might want to get a rabbinical opinion about how Jewish the new faith was, even before it got taken over by Costantine.
I would prefer an opinion from a complete outsider. Someone who is open minded, and has almost no prior knowlege of either religion. And not an athiest either. I have seen their comments on youtube and other places and seems to me that athiesm is a religion itself.
An interesting thing about the evolution of religion is that it probably has profound effects on the human brain. You have this incredible duality going on. So you have scientists of all religions who take their work really seriously and at the same time are totally into a badly made up story that the thinking part of their brains knows is totally impossible. How can the brain separate the two? This means that we whose ancestors lived for about 1500 years in monotheist land are probably much more screwed up than those who have a bunch of warring gods in their fantacy heaven. We have had about 60 generations where people who questioned the heart of the fantasy had really bad reproductive chances and those who could cordon off reality could do pretty well reproductively.
I am aware of the uses of religion. Each tribe probably had its own god back in the day and as the tribes fought and lost, and sometimes joined together, bad (useless in war) gods died out and good gods (useful in war and sometimes useful in peace too) got retained.
Invisible man gods that promise an afterlife of sexual fulfillment or of full bellies seem to have the most appeal to warlike people. Who knows, maybe the sun and water and mountain gods may make a comeback soon.
Happy Christmas.
Whether you celebrate or not, enjoy the long weekend.
Terry Gilliam's Christmas Card
@ Brian White
I hear you. On the other hand, I don't think outsiders have a complete understanding, and there are some areas in which a community has to be able to define itself - especially when it is one that has been the subject of much oppression, misinterpretation, and appropriation.
After all that British group that sees itself as the descendents of the 10 tribes isn't the only group using that argument. I think most Christians see the roots of their faith in Judaeism. The problem is that many of them see their own faith as its more legitimate replacement - in essence, what god really intended all along.
But yes, Merry Christmas.
I needed to bump this, as there's far too much cheeriness on TAT. Yes even today. Yeah I said it.
Also, this amazing article made the rounds on FB a few days ago. Rocking.
Challenging the Christian month of December
What we are experiencing is a form of Christian cultural imperialism (hegemony): a promotion of the larger Christian culture, celebrations, values, and beliefs. I define Christian hegemony as the overarching system of advantages bestowed on Christians. It is the institutionalization of a Christian norm or standard, which establishes and perpetuates the notion that all people are or should be Christian, thereby privileging Christians and Christianity and excluding the needs, concerns, cultural practices, and life experiences of people who do not define themselves as Christian. Often overt though at times subtle, Christian hegemony is oppression by intent and design, as well as by neglect, omission, erasure and distortion.
.....
The effect of the so-called secularization of religion, in fact, not only fortifies but indeed strengthens Christian privilege by perpetuating Christian hegemony in such a way as to avoid its detection as religion or to circumvent constitutional requirements for the separation of religion and government. Christian dominance, therefore, is maintained by its relative invisibility; and with this invisibility, privilege is neither analyzed nor scrutinized, neither interrogated nor confronted. Dominance is perceived as unremarkable or "normal," and when anyone poses a challenge or attempts to reveal its religious significance, those in the dominant group brand them as "subversive" or as "sacrilegious."
.....
When we as a society use the generic greeting "Happy Holidays" in December, many of us may intend to promote intercultural awareness and sensitivity. But I would argue that this actually has the exact opposite effect by giving most of us the excuse not to do our homework in truly investigating other cultures and other forms of celebration. When we wish others "Happy Holidays" in December, we do not have to think about when others' major holidays actually occur, and we do not have to acknowledge that many people are not affiliated with religion at all.
While the intent may certainly be well-meaning and heartfelt, the impact is often exactly the opposite. The concept of oppression, then, constitutes more than the cruel and repressive actions of individuals upon others. It involves an overarching system of differentials of social power and privilege exercised by dominant groups over subordinated groups, based on ascribed social identities and reinforced by unequal social group status. And this is not merely the case in societies ruled by coercive or tyrannical leaders but occurs within the day-to-day practices of contemporary democratic societies such as the United States [and Canada].
This Blumenfeld guy has waaaaay too much time on his hands to shape such a molehill into a mountain. This guy seems like exactly the type I hate getting stuck next to at a dinner party.
This Blumenfeld guy has waaaaay too much time on his hands to shape such a molehill into a mountain. This guy seems like exactly the type I hate getting stuck next to at a dinner party.
Not as much free time as whoever compiled this page:
http://www.av1611.org/othpubls/santa.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7XJUeHWePw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpSWrmIz-a8
But remember... it's all about the little kids!
http://jezebel.com/5871009/video-of-little-girl-getting-pissed-off-at-ge...
Merry Christmas!
Challenging the Christian month of December
Thanks Maysie. I thought it also could very well describe the way Capitalism and its ruling structures imposes itself.
A Bullet is Fuck All
http://meandmyrevolution.wordpress.com/2011/12/24/a-bullet-is-fuck-all/
"Christmas is now more a pretend show of wealth and fake happiness, which we know deep down know are futile and evaporative things. Enjoy it whilst you can. The world as we know it is failing. Marry Christmas (or Crisismas as cynics call it these days) anyway.."
HEY EVERYBODY, JUST 51 WEEKS LEFT 'TIL CHRISTMAS!
You really are the devil.
Please close this thread, I beg of you.
Not so fast you Gregorian calendar-centric people.
There is still Ukrainian Christmas to look forward to,
It goes all the way from January 6 to the 19th!
(this is the deluxe edition, after all)
Where's the hate, then, Smith? That's what this thread is all about.
Go big or go home. Or, oldgoat, close the damn thread already.
Hey, I just provided you with a few more weeks worth of grist. Do you expect me to grnd it too?
*grin*
Closing for length (and silliness).