Incredible - this investigative business journalist has painstakingly connected two seemingly disparate phenomena and uncovered a frightening conspiracy of far-reaching proportions:
After a successful hostile takeover of U.S. bank Citigroup, the Somali pirates are on track to secure a seat in the United States Senate. According to Pirate spokesman Ali Hashimi Mohammed, capital secured by Citigroup from the U.S. Treasury's TARP program along with the booty of various captured ships is being used to finance a leveraged buyout of the seat previously occupied by President-elect Barack Obama. A letter of intent seen by Bloomberg puts the acquisition price at $1.2 trillion.
In a wiretapped conversation with Mohammed, embattled Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich said the seat "is a f****** valuable thing, you don't just give it away for nothing."
Mohammed countered that Citigroup's corporate charter, now controlled by the Pirates, is itself "pretty f****** vaulable." He noted that Citigroup's capital requirements under Basel 1 currently allow them to finance the production of nearly $60 of loans for every dollar of capital.
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