Gross recipes!

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Doug
Gross recipes!

I happened on a real doozy today! Any other disgusting recipes out there?

 

Velveeta Apple Pie Dip

Doug

I should also include Sandra Lee's Kwanzaa Cake, which is disgusting in another way as well - it's been described as an edible hate crime.

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

I watch The Food Network's Drive-Ins, Diners and Dives often, and the food usually is pretty awful looking, although stuff like chicken fried steak with gravy and dumplings, Reubens, and other stuff don't taste so bad. I used to vacation in the South, and I've had it all.

bagkitty bagkitty's picture

Obtain one Paul Gross:

Canadian Actor Paul Gross

Dismember:

Still from Texas Chainsaw massacre

Debone, set aside bones for stock:

human skeleton

Roast flesh in extra large roasting pan, carve and serve:

roast beef

 

Fidel

It's not a recipe but a TV sitcom with that Tool Time Tim character? His neighbor, the one whose face you never see? It's US Thanksgiving, so Wilson gives Tim a family favourite,  baked eel pie! blech! The thought of it almost made me wretch. And then I remembered my grandfather in England who fancied some pretty awful stuff, like conger eel. blech again

Doug

bagkitty wrote:

Obtain one Paul Gross:

Canadian Actor Paul Gross

 

 

This is just fine, cooking not necessary!

Doug
Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Lamprey eel was a popular dish in England up to the 19th century according to Heston Blumenthal.

abnormal

I feel a trip to [url=http://www.heartattackgrill.com/]the Heart Attack Grill[/url] coming on.  Any place that goes through 350 pounds of fries and 450 pounds of lard in a week can't be all bad.  Or can it?

Besides, if you weigh over 350 pounds you get to eat free!

 

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

What's up with the growing popularity of deep fried turkey? Isn't that pretty much a recipe for overcooking the bird? (not to mention a serious fire hazard - because all that oil may spill and cause a huge flare-up)

Snert Snert's picture

Au contraire.  When the temperature is right, deep frying will seal in moisture almost immediately.

Re: the fire hazard, I invite you to check YouTube.  There are at least a few videos of fires such as you describe.  But it's all part of the spectacle.  :)

abnormal

There are actually states where it's illegal to deep fry turkey (at home) because of the fire hazard.  Having said that, you can deep fry a whole turkey in about 45 minutes.  The end result is far moister than any oven roasted bird I've ever had.

You might want to look here: http://www.thejiveturkey.com/index2.html

RosaL

[url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lutefisk]"Lye fish"[/url], a Christmas treat! (I have eaten it although not in great quantities!)

Sineed

You can lye corn as well, to make it more digestible.

I'm surprised nobody's mentioned http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

On today's front page:

Quote:
Buffalo Chicken Cheese Fries

French fries topped with buffalo chicken pieces covered in hefeweizen beer cheese sauce all topped with crumbled blue cheese and scallions.

Poutine Cupcakes

Deep Fried Reuben Balls

Corned beef, sauerkraut, swiss cheese and Russian dressing encased in bread crumbs battered and deep fried.

The Double Coronary Burger

A burger topped with five slices of bacon, four slices of cheese, two fried eggs, mayo, lettuce, tomato, and onion between two grilled cheese sandwiches.

Plenty of the obligatory bacon.

ennir

I don't know whether I should thank you for that link or not Sineed, it is simultaneously horrible and addictive, I had to tear myself away after 10 pages or so.  What a lot of deep fried food, just looking at all of it took my appetite away although I admit the Smortuary had a momentary appeal but then the appeal might have been the competely appropriate title.

The worst recipe I have encountered is something called, "Sex in a Pan" and for a time seemed to be synonymous with potlucks, a gooey mixture of packaged pudding, marshmallows and fake whip cream mixed in with chocolate sauce from a jar, large on sugar and low on flavour I found it disgusting but noticed that many did not. 

I will not go back to that site, I will not go back to that site. lol

Thanks Sineed.

abnormal

Sorry Sineed but that double coronary burger is for pikers (or people on a diet):

 

[img]http://dangerousdansdiner.com/coronaryburger.jpg[/img]

Quadruple C
"Collosal Colon Clogger Combo"
24oz burger served with a quarter pound of cheese, a quarter pound of bacon, and 2 fried eggs.  Also comes with a large shake and a small poutine.
Only  $ 23.95

[img]http://dangerousdansdiner.com/royale.JPG[/img]

All this and more at www.dangerousdansdiner.com

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

I fear for the health of Chef Guy Fieri, host of Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives, on The Food Network, who samples all this stuff - but also some really nice food, too, in his very popular show. Last week he hosted from North Pole, Alaska. What a guy! And he drives a cool '67 Camaro roadster.

Caissa

I love eel with black bean sauce. Can buy it in cans at a local Chinese grocery.

Joey Ramone

I've eaten lots of spicy eels in China.  Frogs too; fresh frog meat is incredibly tender and delicious - nothing like the rubbery frozen frozen frog legs available here.  Yummm!  Too bad North Americans are so squeamish.  We miss out on lots of great stuff.

Michelle

Oh man, I've heard of deep fried Mars bars, but I had no idea you could get them in Toronto.  That's scary! :)

I've never tried frog before - I think I would be too squeamish to try that.  I'm not very adventurous on the meat end of things, although I am not generally a fussy eater otherwise.

Snert Snert's picture

I could be wrong, but it's my understanding that a Mars bar in the UK is different from ours here, and would actually be more like a Snickers.  Peanuts, I suppose, being the difference.

I've heard tell of North Americans arranging for authentic, British Mars bars to be shipped, specifically for deep-frying.

Catchfire Catchfire's picture

I've had deep-fried Mars bar of course, although deep-fried Snickers is better. But I can usually handle only a single bite of the delicious, crispy, melted treat. Because even after you've had a few you can feel your circulatory system hiccup.

ETA: I should add that when you walk into a Scottish chippy, the deep-fried Mars bar is heads and shoulders above the grossest thing on the menu.

Catchfire Catchfire's picture

Well, there are definitely no peanuts, and while I didn't notice a difference (it's not surprising that the nuance of a candy bar gets lost once dipped in batter and boiling fat) it wouldn't surprise me if there was one--I do know, for example, that there is a significant difference (at least, a perceived one) between NA Cadbury and UK Cadbury chocolate. Someone told me that the UK still uses cream, but that sounds to me like "7-oz of milk in every kraft singles" type of snake oil.

Caissa

I had those along with cod cheeks on a trip to St. John's in the early nineties. They are delicious.

Papal Bull

Regarding fried Mars bars: there are a lot of bars to fry. I once worked at a restaurant while in high school and started to take over the fry cookery on the bar shifts. You'd be surprised how many people who have been drinking sweet martinis all night just seem to crave making an inevitable hangover worse. Anyways, I remember a guy brought in a bunch of candy bars this one week and asked us to toss them in the freezer so we could make him on order different deep fried candy bars.

I also started to change the batter so it didn't taste just like fish and chips with chocolate and caramel inside. But to get that recipe someone would have to do my thermodynamics homework for a semester.

Slumberjack

FRIED COD TONGUES

Ingredients:

2 lbs Cod tongues, fresh or frozen

½ cup flour

1 – 1 ½ tsp salt

1/8 – ¼ tsp pepper

¼ - ½ lb salt Pork

Directions:

Carefully wash Cod tongues and dry with paper towel. Allow 6-8 tongues per person.

Put flour, salt and pepper in a plastic bag; add tongues and shake until evenly coated.

Cut up salt Pork and fry until fat is rendered out of the Pork and are crisp and brown (they’re referred to as scrunchions at this point). Remove the scrunchions.

Fry tongues in the same pan with the rendered pork fat over medium hot heat until browned and crisp on both sides.

Serve the tongues and scrunchions with potatoes and Peas.

                            Before                                               After

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Cod cheeks and cod tongues are a delicacy here, and dried salted cod a mainstay of many diets. I rarely eat salt cod but I freeze the fresh stuff - it's great battered and fried. Salt beef is also very popular here. These are all Newfoundland in origin, at least in North America.

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Guy Fieri is one of The Food Network's most popular hosts, mostly for his Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives, but also Guy's Big Bite. He ran a one hour special last night showcasing the "best of" his D,D, & D's show, and every few minutes he was shown chomping down another messy dish, such as a smoked meat pizza laden with about a pound of meat and double cheese. I switched the channel to find something less  nauseating, and up popped ad for Wendy's Baconator - a big hamburger with two thick patties of meat and four whole slices of bacon.  

What the hell? Aren't we supposed to be living in age of green choices and self-restraint? You wouldn't know it by the idiotic food choices being given to us on television. Frown

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Two shows on the Food Network this week - Bob Blumer's and Guy Fieri's - were hawking ice cream with bacon. What the hell? Isn't America obese enough???

Doug

That's nothing when this exists:

Paula Deen donut burger

Michelle

Oh man. Donut burgers?  Bacon ice cream??  What is wrong with people!?

radiorahim radiorahim's picture

Snert wrote:

I could be wrong, but it's my understanding that a Mars bar in the UK is different from ours here, and would actually be more like a Snickers.  Peanuts, I suppose, being the difference.

I've heard tell of North Americans arranging for authentic, British Mars bars to be shipped, specifically for deep-frying.

I'm not sure about the peanuts in UK Mars Bars.   But there's a candy shop on the north side of Danforth Avenue in Toronto...I think it's between Chester and Pape subway stations IIRC and they sell alot of imported U.S. and UK chocolate bars...so aficionados might find a UK Mars Bar there.

I've only been in the UK a couple of times and in a fish & chip shop only once...and when I saw "Mars Bar Batter" up on the chalkboard menu...I had to ask my UK buddy what it was.

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

I was in England a few years ago, and I looked around to see what a "chip butty" is, and never found a shop selling them - and I was in Manchester, Liverpool, Cheshire, and Chester, and a few smaller places in England, as well as all over Wales. My guess is this product isn't as popular as perhaps it once was?

Doug

Twenty Unholy Recipes

 

I recommend the Pickle Stretcher Salad - it's truly horrifying in its greenness,

 

skdadl

[URL=http://bacontoday.com/turbaconducken-turducken-wrapped-in-bacon/]Turbaco...

 

I think I might actually like that. It looks gross raw, but putting one bird inside another bigger one inside another bigger one, etc, is an old European technique. Think Babette's Feast. And since turkey is often so dry, the bacon wrapping is a thought.

al-Qa'bong

So what's the deal with bacon these days?  Everyone's talking about it - I've seen it on t-shirts and heard it in comedy sketches.

 

Fidel wrote:

It's not a recipe but a TV sitcom with that Tool Time Tim character? His neighbor, the one whose face you never see? It's US Thanksgiving, so Wilson gives Tim a family favourite,  baked eel pie! blech! The thought of it almost made me wretch. And then I remembered my grandfather in England who fancied some pretty awful stuff, like conger eel. blech again

 

I've never eaten eel, but I've seen them swim past my legs just off the beach at St. Brevin, France.  I have a culinary story about eels, though.

So there I was, at the outdoor market in St. Michel Chef-Chef, walking through the seafood section, when I came across the stall of a guy who was selling eels along with other aquatic life.  He kept the eels in a shallow box, and every once in a while would give the eels a tap to show the shoppers how lively they were.  Beside the box was a tray of sand, for which I could discern no purpose.

Wellsir, after a few moments a woman came along and asked for a couple of eels.  The fishmonger promptly grabbed one, rolled in in the sand and cuts its head off.  He then peeled the eel, starting at the neck and working his way to the tail.

The sand gave him a grip on the otherwise slimy creature.

I've also seen a rose stuck in the gills of a dead shark in the fish section of a E.Leclerc store in Nantes.

al-Qa'bong

Quote:
So what's the deal with bacon these days?  Everyone's talking about it - I've seen it on t-shirts and heard it in comedy sketches.

 

Judging by the discussion here, maybe this bacon business is some sort of affirmation of Western civilization.

 

 

Joey Ramone

Eels are delicious, but cleaning them is nasty business.  They are extremely bloody and wriggle fiercely even after their heads are cut off.  They often continue wriggling for several minutes after being tossed in a hot pot.  Many chefs nail the head of the eel to a cutting board to hold it in place while cleaning it.

Ken Burch Ken Burch's picture

If you've ever read THE TIN DRUM, you would never want to try eel.  Just trust me on this.

Ken Burch Ken Burch's picture

I hereby bestow upon you all, photographic evidence of the most heart-lethal state fair food in the U.S. this year:

Deep...Fried...Butter...

 

HeywoodFloyd

Crispy bacon drizzled in dark chocolate. 

Decadent and so unhealthy it is allowed once annually in Chezwood. 

But whole roasted turkey or chicken covered in prosciutto or bacon is a favourite meal here. 

KIMBERLEY19VJ

The grammar of this now deleted commercial spam, that was gross! - Maysie

al-Qa'bong

Quote:

Deep...Fried...Butter...

 

That's either one of the most crazy dishes ever, or it's pure genius.

Ken Burch Ken Burch's picture

It could also be seen as the only method of population control acceptable to the Catholic Church.