The dog thread

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M. Spector M. Spector's picture
The dog thread

Dogs are superior creatures to humans.

Discuss.

Timebandit Timebandit's picture

Dog spit is a cure-all.  Seriously.  My English setter tells me so.  It's her answer to everything.

marzo

Dog is God spelled backwards. Dogs don't wear underwear. Dogs don't read newspapers. Dogs don't invest in the stock market.

I think this tells us all we need to know.

G. Muffin

As long as I live, nobody will ever love me as much as my dogs do. 

martin dufresne
Maysie Maysie's picture

My karma ran over your dogma.

Unionist

Which reminds me of what the Buddhist said to the hot dog vendor: "Make me one with everything!"

 

al-Qa'bong

I think those brain-dead cretins who allow their dogs to use other people's yards as toilets should be spayed.

Polly B Polly B's picture

My dog loves me best first thing in the morning when I let him out for a pee.  NO-ONE else around here even likes me in the morning.

M. Spector M. Spector's picture

martin dufresne wrote:

Dog is dead.

Quote:
The couple attributed Chanel's longevity not to healthy living but to God.
Surprised

bagkitty bagkitty's picture

Dogs are servile creatures who seem overjoyed to be slaves. And they don't bury their faeces.... cats are much better.

martin dufresne

Dogs get their owners to bury their faeces; who is the servile one? Try to beat that...

 

al-Qa'bong

It's the price the owners pay to be loved.

M. Spector M. Spector's picture

You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.

- Robert Louis Stevenson

Jaku

 

 Just had to share

Subject:

The difference between Dogs and Cats

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED

Dog Diary

 

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!


CAT DIARY

 

Day 1,983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously mentally deficient

oldgoat

Came back from walking my two a little while ago.  They get me out doing healthy things I wouldn't otherwise do.

Lard Tunderin Jeezus Lard Tunderin Jeezus's picture

Two?

You're a bugger for punishment, aren't you?

Papal Bull

Lard Tunderin Jeezus wrote:

Two?

You're a bugger for punishment, aren't you?

 

I have two dogs, ages 12 and 11. Both large breed and rescues. They're greyhounds. Best little buzzards ever and not punishment at all. They have one objective in life: accumulate all the attention. And dinner. Dinner is not an objective, is a directive.

Unionist

Jaku: As a cat person, let me express my appreciation for your hilarious (yet eerily accurate) prisoner's diary!

 

Timebandit Timebandit's picture

I have two dogs as well.  Kali is 13 1/2, a Lab/setter cross and the sweetest, mellowest old girl around.  Luna (Lu for short, or Slough-foot Lu when she's wet) is 2 years old, an English setter.  She's a total character.  Sings with the violin, swear to gawd she thinks she was Maria Callas in another life.  She is obsessed with birds and stealing all the chew bones, which she hides between the couch cushions.

Papal Bull

Virgil, the male, is a brindle and a dumb ass if ever there was one. I have to spend alot of the days that I'm home with him outside because he chases hornets and tries to eat them. It's kind of funny. The other one, Abbey, is just a huge suck. She waltzs around the house and rubs up against you like a 75 lb cat. We got them from two seperate places, but when we got them home and looked up their pedigrees we found out that they shared a grandfather and are cousins.

oldgoat

Hey PB, you ever go up to the off leash area at Harmony Heights???

Slumberjack

I prefer cats as pets, and had a dog once, but grew to dislike keeping them as pets.  The last pet was a goldfish who committed suicide by leaping out of the tank and onto a hot baseboard heater.  Haven't been able to bring myself around to acquiring another pet ever since.

M. Spector M. Spector's picture

Papal Bull wrote:

I have two dogs, ages 12 and 11. Both large breed and rescues. They're greyhounds. Best little buzzards ever and not punishment at all. They have one objective in life: accumulate all the attention. And dinner. Dinner is not an objective, is a directive.

Mine's a rescue greyhound, too.

Pictures! I want pictures!

Timebandit Timebandit's picture

I have 3 cats, too.  I don't do well with fish.  The one before last got some horrible fungal disease and died miserably.  This year my daughter's teacher had the kids raise goldfish in the classroom and then sent each kid's fish home in June - without asking the parents.  Fortunately/unfortunately (it depends on who you ask) the fish died while we were on holidays in July. 

M. Spector M. Spector's picture

Papal Bull wrote:

We got them from two seperate places, but when we got them home and looked up their pedigrees we found out that they shared a grandfather and are cousins.

That's not unusual, actually. There are only a relative handful of males used for breeding, so lots of greys are cousins.

My guy has over 9,000 half-brothers and -sisters! (He's probably related to your lot as well).

Farmpunk

I'm currently inbetween pets.  Basically, all the pets we've had on this farm have been country wanderers who stick around.  Strays make amazing pets, in much the same way a well mannered pound dog - or greyhound - will adapt very well to a good home.

Dogs need space and exercise, the more the better.  My dogs have all been off leash, 99% of the time, and I could communicate with them by nodding my head or staring.  Getting a dog trained to that point pays a lot of dividends, and makes a dog much superior as a companion. 

Lately we've had a run of stray cats, though.  Anyone want an orange striped blue or green eyed kitten?  And I have a really mean looking grey striped kitten hanging around my chicken pens. I feed him\her but it remains suspicious.

A greyhound would make for a high maintenance dog, I bet.  A dude who used to reclaim race dogs used to bring a van full of the things down to our farm to run around (he didn't ask, either).  Those mutts can fly, hola. They used to chase me when I went biking.  I always forgot how big the god damn things are until there were eight of them chasing me.

I lean more shepard\terrior.  Never been a fan of Labs.

Lard Tunderin Jeezus Lard Tunderin Jeezus's picture

I love shepards and huskies. But I would never own a dog in the city, so for the foreseeable future, I'm stuck with a cat, rabbit, fish, frogs, and a newt. The rabbit and newt are both more than 6 years old.

Farmpunk

A six year old newt?  That's got to be lifespan plus.

Thumbs up on dogs in the city.  Bigger dogs are rarely a good idea in the city but I understand the urge.

Timebandit Timebandit's picture

I grew up with Labs - in the city, too.  Ours were hunting dogs and we also trained them for field trials.  I rarely needed a leash (although we usually used them) because they were so well trained to heel.  They understood commands by voice and hand signal, which we've done to some degree with our current dogs - not as strict about it, that's all. 

I don't like small dogs much.  Kali is Lab-sized but lighter in the bone structure and Lu is quite a bit smaller.  She's a Llewellyn type (field dog), which aren't as lanky or long-haired as the Laverack type, which are basically the show dogs.  Anyway, Lu would be more medium-sized and I wouldn't go smaller but we run with her so she gets lots of exercise.

A friend of mine was dog-sitting a pair of greyhounds last spring.  I was surprised by how laid-back they were - I expected them to be quite high-strung.  Still, I will probably always go for a bird dog.

bagkitty bagkitty's picture

A bird dog? oooo.... do they have magnificent plumage like a Norwegian Blue? Regardless of whether they do or not, do you ever find them pining for the fjords? (Labrador does have fjords, doesn't it?) Innocent

M. Spector M. Spector's picture

Everybody expects greyhounds to be high-energy but they are anything but. It's not for nothing they are known as 60 kmh couch potatoes.

My Rufus would be happy if he never ran again. Just a couple of long walks a day and he sleeps or lounges about the rest of the time.

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

I had a beagle, miss it terribly. Nowadays the german shepherd across the road visits every day, and usually joins me for a walk in the evening (dogs are not tied up here). Great companion - if I was getting another dog, it'd be a shepherd for sure. The beagle was fun, but stubborn as a mule.

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Actually, I'd like a Border Collie.

Timebandit Timebandit's picture

bagkitty wrote:

A bird dog? oooo.... do they have magnificent plumage like a Norwegian Blue? Regardless of whether they do or not, do you ever find them pining for the fjords? (Labrador does have fjords, doesn't it?) Innocent

You'll frequently find the Labrador pining for a fjord, but a slough will do. 

And Luna actually does have gorgeous "plumage" - she has a lovely plumey tail, and "ruffles" on her hind legs and ears.  She's white with black ticking and a black patch on one eye.  She knows she's gorgeous, too.

So your joke does, indeed, fly.  Wink

yarg

We have a dog and a cat, both of which are no doubt sleeping on my half of the bed right now, my dog is a wonderful pet, a lab/german sheperd and maybe something else cross, as much as we love him, he's just so damn big at 160lbs he makes a poor lap dog, though he tries hard.  We got him from the animal shelter there were 5 dogs in the dog run, he immediately came over to see us and we were sold, just a puppy then, I should have known from the size of his paws what we were in for, his size can be a bit of a pain, but overall i don't think you could get a better dog. The cat, is, well, a cat.

M. Spector M. Spector's picture

You have a 160-lb. lab/german shepherd?  Surprised

What is he, two 80-lb. dogs glued together?

Unionist

This just in: Babble is going to the dogs.

 

Lard Tunderin Jeezus Lard Tunderin Jeezus's picture

Farmpunk wrote:

A six year old newt?  That's got to be lifespan plus.

From what I read, Spanish newts are good for about 12 years (as long as some dogs), and can get up to 12 inches in length.

M. Spector M. Spector's picture

Do Spanish newts eat Spanish fly?

martin dufresne

I have been sharing my life with a ten-yr old purebred Siamese cat, who is a dropout from potty training... (no lie! some people actually train cats not only to use the toilet but to flush it afterwards, using a special platform; their sales pitch involves actuarial litter cost tables!). My Coucoune made it halfway through the course but never could be convinced to flush, so her "trainer" gave her away as a "failure"... 

 

Papal Bull

oldgoat wrote:

Hey PB, you ever go up to the off leash area at Harmony Heights???

 

Nah, my greys have prey drives from some sort of primal past and will take after anything they can fit in their mouths. They've managed to clear our backyard of squirrels and rabbits. And the seagulls at the park across the street kind of are more skittish then ever.

Papal Bull

M. Spector wrote:

You have a 160-lb. lab/german shepherd?  Surprised

What is he, two 80-lb. dogs glued together?

 

My cousin has a 140 lb boxer, thing is fit as a whistle. Just pure muscle and a massive chest. The damned thing only comes up half way past my knee. Broad. Looks like a bull, not a dog.

M. Spector M. Spector's picture

M. Spector wrote:

Pictures! I want pictures!

Polly B wrote:

 

OK, here's mine:

[IMG]http://i29.tinypic.com/5nr8tc.jpg[/IMG]

G. Muffin

Thank you.  They're both beautiful.  M. Spector's looks like she(?)'s plotting something.

M. Spector M. Spector's picture

Rufus is a "he" - and he's just doing what he does best - chilling and staring into space.

yarg

Papal Bull wrote:

M. Spector wrote:

You have a 160-lb. lab/german shepherd?  Surprised

What is he, two 80-lb. dogs glued together?

 

My cousin has a 140 lb boxer, thing is fit as a whistle. Just pure muscle and a massive chest. The damned thing only comes up half way past my knee. Broad. Looks like a bull, not a dog.

 

Mine is a very similar build, very broad and deep chested, I suspect hey may have something larger in the genes but lab/sheperd was the best guess from the shelter, and he does resemble both.

Papal Bull

Male is on the left, female is on the right. They're pretty adorable Yell

Unionist

Strangest pussycats I've ever seen...

Papal Bull

Unionist wrote:

Strangest pussycats I've ever seen...

 

When we first got the female I caught her trying to jump up on top of counter and struggling to pull all the way up. I'd say that they are indeed strang puddycats.

M. Spector M. Spector's picture

This thread suddenly just got a whole lot classier!

[IMG]http://i30.tinypic.com/nwxank.gif[/IMG]

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