Every Silver Lining Has A Cloud

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Frustrated Mess Frustrated Mess's picture
Every Silver Lining Has A Cloud

Rabble is conducting a contest to replace Rex Murphy. Unfortunately, I can't enter. However, in the spirit of the contest, I would still like to post my commentary (500 words):

Every Silver Lining Has A Cloud

Everything that's great about Canada produces something that really stinks about Canada. With hockey it's the violence. With Tim Horton's it's littered cups. With CBC it's Rex Murphy.

I'll be honest, I thought Rex Murphy was dead. So imagine my surprise when I found out CBC wasn't just broadcasting re-runs due to budget cuts. I thought it was because of budget cuts and re-broadcasts Rex loved the Stephen Harper autocracy. He could hear himself over and over again ad infantalism.

I'm not sure who even pays attention to Rex other than Don Cherry. I imagine Rex signals to all of Canada watching the CBC its time to get up and pour a bowl of cheerios.

Don't get me wrong. I think Rex Murphy serves a purpose like everything in nature. Mosquitoes tell Canadians its warm enough to go swimming. Slush helps to prevent the proliferation of suede shoes. Rex Murphy reminds us that even media personalities can be dip sticks.

Which brings me to another question, what brainiac approved that face for television? Or that voice for radio? Could there be anyone else in all of Canada less suited for broadcasting? Surely his very success speaks to the generosity of spirit and equal opportunity the likes of Murphy would deride as a socialistic weakness? There is no way this fellow would get a broadcasting role in the States--Murphy's land of tainted milk and industrial honey overflowing with the love of self-interest. It just wouldn't happen.

Sure, Rex's separated at birth twin, Larry, of the Three Stooges, made it onto the little screen, but not opposite Edward R. Murrow. And can you think of a single US news personality with a nasally tone as grating as our Rex? I bet you can't. They might let Rex do a voice on the Simpson's, but that would be it. Only Canada's Mother Corp., with a taste for the distasteful in the spirit of ensuring Canadians remain subject to the cold, the damp, and the dreary even when watching the news, would put Rex Murphy on the air. If anything speaks to the greatness of Canada, or the strong and unflinching commitment to mediocrity, it is that.

But also, in this land forged on the hot coals of pragmatic compromise, Rex Murphy represents something far more un-Canadian than a US gold medal in the World Juniors. He represents an imbalance.

Where is the counter on CBC to Rex Murphy? Where is the reasoned, intelligent, and thoughtful commentary to Murphy's bombastic, doddering, and heedless assault on the sensibilities of Canadians? It's not just that Murphy confuses the interspersing of multi-syllabic words into his droning onslaught with captivating articulation, its also that there is nothing he has to say not already being said 24/7 by the ranting and raving and permanently aggrieved callers on CFRB radio or any number of other old-media-for-old-ideas outlets across the country.

Surely the CBC can give equal time to someone who doesn't stink to balance he who does.

George Victor

The Globe ran this letter of mine back about Dec. 10, 2006, when old Rex left himself wide open: "Rex Murphy has often displayed a lack of patience for those scientists making predictions for our environmental future, but for he, of all people, to bring forward the argument that "Extreme rhetoric is the front line in the defence of frail logic" is just too...well...Murphistic."

It was clear at that moment that he had no capacity for critical self analysis. Now, I think he simply repeats his mantra because it sells and is expected by his "fans."

Michelle

That was FABULOUS, Frustrated Mess!  Come on, you HAVE to enter the contest! :)

Tommy_Paine

 

 

Next on CBC Newsworld, Rex Murphy with...."The Obvious".  

I think when you cairve away the east coast lilt and the stylistic flourishes, Murphy has astonishingly little of substance to say, and when he does, it's usually, well, obvious.

Michelle

I want Tommy to enter the contest. ;)

Bookish Agrarian

FM

See full size image

skdadl

FM: Standing ovation! As we say in baseball, give that man a contract!

 

Seriously, FM, that is a work of genius, and I hope that you keep writing. Thanks very much: I'm just toddling off now, but I'm toddling off chuckling, which is always a good way to toddle off.

al-Qa'bong

Tommy_Paine wrote:

 

 

Next on CBC Newsworld, Rex Murphy with...."The Obvious".  

I think when you cairve away the east coast lilt and the stylistic flourishes, Murphy has astonishingly little of substance to say, and when he does, it's usually, well, obvious.

 

I dunno, Tommy.  When ol' Rex got up on his hind legs a few years back and boldly stated that Karla Homulka might not be a fella's best choice for a date, well, I had to rethink my views on the order of the universe.

Diogenes Diogenes's picture

FM, that was brilliant! Can we plagraize you?

I like Rex Murphy. Don't see him too often and don't always agree with what he says, but I love the way he says it. Maybe he is best in small sips.

Michelle

Well, I guess for you Rex Murphy is like Don Cherry is for me.  I love Don Cherry for the comic relief - he's just so obnoxious that he makes me laugh every time, and Coach's Corner is one of the highlights of the hockey game for me.  (Hey, I watch the Leafs, what can I say.)  So I guess I can see how Rex might be that way for others. 

But not for me.  I can't stand his routine.

Ghislaine

How is making fun of Murphy's voice and looks a "work of genius"? Can't people stick to his arguments? He is obviously not handsome, however he has success due to his writing skills. People can still be good writers even if you don't agree with them.

 

Michelle

Let me ask you this, Ghislaine: Have you ever seen a woman with looks like that get a 30 year gig on the CBC?  Ever?  How about any other station?

I agree, his looks really aren't the issue, but if you want to get into it, let's just talk about how middle-aged-to-old, white, privileged men get to look ugly as sin and still get TV broadcast jobs, while women have to have voices like velvet and shampoo ad hair.

Lard Tunderin Jeezus Lard Tunderin Jeezus's picture

Besides which, Rex doesn't have any 'writing skills', he has standard old-white-guy establishment views and a thoroughly abused thesaurus.

Ghislaine

Michelle wrote:

Let me ask you this, Ghislaine: Have you ever seen a woman with looks like that get a 30 year gig on the CBC?  Ever?  How about any other station?

I agree, his looks really aren't the issue, but if you want to get into it, let's just talk about how middle-aged-to-old, white, privileged men get to look ugly as sin and still get TV broadcast jobs, while women have to have voices like velvet and shampoo ad hair.

Well I agree with you there for sure! I just don't want to start making men's looks an issue an issue too- I would rather speak about why the situation is the way it is for women and try and change that. I just thought it was too bad that a good piece of writing in the OP had to include cheap shots that have nothing to do with opinion, issues or argument.

Not to get dragged down the "who is ugly" path, but I think Chantel Hébert would be the closest female equivalent to Rex on CBC - although she is on the regular opinion panel rather than having he own segment. She is definitely on the panel for her intelligence and opinions, not her looks. I actually have always admired her "look", which does not conform to stereotypical feminine TV personality.

skdadl

Well, I loved the OP because I could hear Murphy's voice all the way through -- I mean, it is a superb parody of the way Rex himself  writes and talks. Don't his columns take cheap shots too? (Please don't make me look up examples, puhleeze.) What's funniest of all is the free-associative leaps from one example to another -- that's so Rex. (Please don't make me look up examples, puhleeze!) I know that even ironic lookism isn't usually allowed on babble, but this is different because it's lidderchur.

Michelle

Exactly!  I was reading it out loud last night and laughing all the way through it, because it just lends itself so well to the tone that Rex himself uses, especially the second last paragraph. :D

kropotkin1951 kropotkin1951's picture

Lard Tunderin Jeezus wrote:

Besides which, Rex doesn't have any 'writing skills', he has standard old-white-guy establishment views and a thoroughly abused thesaurus.

 

Laughing

Frustrated Mess Frustrated Mess's picture

My face is red! Thanks, everyone. I was seriously considering entering the contest but I couldn't come up with a resume. The best I could do was, "As a white, privileged male I deserve to be on TV earning oodles from vomiting 750 entirely predictable words on command".

Sandy47 Sandy47's picture

Frustrated Mess asks...

Quote:
Could there be anyone else in all of Canada less suited for broadcasting?

 

I know what you're saying, and as contenders go he's certainly in the upper echelon, but I would think the entire "talent" pool at Rogers' Sportsnet would give anyone a run for their money in that dubious department. At least Rex can read.

thorin_bane

Excuse me but what is lidderchur, is that literature mangled on purpose? Don't know.