GREEN BUDS AND HASH (A Pot Poem)

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Dana Larsen
GREEN BUDS AND HASH (A Pot Poem)

Please share and distribute freely

 

GREEN BUDS AND HASH

A pot poem by Dana Larsen

Would you like green buds and hash?
- No I would not, Mister Stash!

Would you like them in a bong?
Would you like them all day long?

- No I would not in a bong!
- No I would not all day long!
- I do not like green buds and hash.
- I do not want them Mister Stash!

Would you like them wrapped in paper?
Will you try them now or later?

- I do not want them wrapped in paper.
- I don't want them now or later.
- I don't want them in a bong,
- I do not want them all day long.
- I do not like green buds and hash,
- I do not want them Mister Stash!

Would you like them in a joint?
- No I would not, what's the point?

Perhaps you would prefer a puff?
Just have one, that is enough.

- I won't partake, not of a puff,
- Nor a hoot, nor hit, nor huff!

Would you try a tiny toke?
- No I don't want any smoke!

What if they were vaporized?
- I've told you no a thousand times!

Would you, could you, in a cake?
Or in cookies I can bake?

- I do not want them in a cake,
- Or in cookies you could bake.
- I do not want them vaporized,
- Or other means you have devised.
- I do not wish to try a toke,
- Or otherwise inhale smoke.
- I won't participate in puffs,
- You have asked me quite enough!
- I get no joy from juicy joints,
- I really do not see the point.
- I do not want to use the bong,
- I think that buds and hash are wrong.

In a tincture would you take it?
I could show you how to make it.

- I do not want them in a tincture
- Or in any other mixture!
- I do not want green buds and hash,
- I do not want them Mister Stash!
- Why do you care if I try them?
- Will you profit if I buy them?

I offer buds and hash for free,
There is no benefit to me.
Someone said that that you were sick,
green buds and hash might do the trick.
If you find you're getting thinner,
With no appetite for dinner,
Or you suffer from sclerosis,
Epilepsy or neuroses,
For almost all the ills that ail ya,
buds and hash will never fail ya.
Have glaucoma? PMS?
Green buds and hash have much success.
For protection against strokes,
Its best to have some potent tokes.
If your muscles are not dandy,
Try some green bud infused candy.
For migraines, spasms, even cancer,
Green buds and hash provide the answer.
If you are not feeling right,
Then have green buds and hash tonight.

- It's true I am not feeling great,
- My health's been rather poor of late.
- My doctor says that I have ills,
- He told me I should take these pills.
- I cannot even sleep at night,
- I never do feel quite alright.
- I will try green buds and hash,
- I will try them Mister Stash!

Pfffffffffffffft!

- Hey now I am feeling good!
- They worked just like you said they would.
- I have never felt this fine!
- Green buds and hash are quite divine!
- I will bake a green bud brownie,
- Whenever I am feeling frowny.
- I will try them vaporized,
- That technique seems very wise.
- I will take them in a tincture,
- And in every other mixture.
- Perhaps I would prefer to puff,
- And stop when I have had enough.
- I will roll some massive joints,
- And smoke them down to little points.
- I will toke upon the bong,
- I will do it all day long.
- I really like green buds and hash,
- I do enjoy them Mister Stash!
- Thanks for being so insistent
- And for being so persistent.
- My mind and body are improved,
- My spirit also has been moved.
- Though I was told they are a sin,
- Green buds and hash are medicine.
- I'm sorry that I was so hateful,
- Now I know I should be grateful!
- Thank you, thank you, Mister Stash,
- Thank you for green buds and hash!

Michelle

Hahaha!  Awesome.  :D

kropotkin1951 kropotkin1951's picture

LMAOROF  Great Dana keep up the superb writing.

__________________________________________________________________________ I was Going to Not Have a Tagline but Since M.Spector likes them so Much I decided to Keep It Just To Please Him.

Dana Larsen

Thanks guys. I appreciate your comments.

I have been writing some "Weedster Fairy Tales" recently, I might post some of them here too...

Dana Larsen

Eight years later and this poem is available in book form, along with some wonderfully Seussian illustrations.

Get your copy or just check it out at http://greenbudsandhash.com

 

 

Dana Larsen

Here's something strange. I think this thread is the all-time most viewed thread on Rabble!

With 57,809 views, it has more than five times the views of any other thread I could find.

I'm not sure how that happened. Does this qualify me for some sort of prize?

Unionist

Great to see you back here, Dana, and congrats on your latest publishing venture!

 

lagatta

Sounds like fun!

oldgoat

Dana, my subjective feeling is that the most viewed thread on babble was the one where I accidentally banned myself while doing a moderating gig.   However, you're probably right.  The thread does indeed deserve a prize.  If you're ever in Toronto, email me and I'll give you a nice fat doobie.  That will have to do in lieu of the Booker prize you so richly deserve but probably won't get.

 

Nice to see you around again.

ikosmos ikosmos's picture

In the spirit of Theodore Seuss Geisel ...

babble archives Sept 27 2001 wrote:

a poet's response to the prospect of war.

Osama bin Laden. (with a nod to Dr. Seuss)

Osama bin Laden.
(whispering) Osama bin Laden.

bin Laden am i.

That Osama bin Laden!
That Osama bin Laden!
I do not like that Osama bin Laden!

Do you like the Taliban?

I do not like them, Osama bin Laden.
I do not like the Taliban.

Would you like them here or there?

I would not like them here or there.
I would not like them anywhere.
I do not like the Taliban.
I do not like them, Osama bin Laden.

Would you bomb Jalalabad?
Would you bomb Islamabad?

I will bomb Jalalabad.
And I will bomb Islamabad.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I will eliminate the Taliban.
I do not like them, Osama bin Laden.

Have you bombed Baghdad?
Have you bombed Belgrade?

I have bombed Baghdad.
And I have bombed Belgrade.
And I will bomb Jalalabad.
And I will bomb Islamabad.
And I will bomb Kabul.
And I will bomb Kandahar.
I will bomb the Taliban here or there.
I will bomb them anywhere.
I do not like the Taliban.
I do not like them, Osama bin Laden.

Would you bomb Hiroshima?
Could you bomb Hirioshima?
Blast them! Blast them! Here they are!!

I have bombed Hiroshima.

You will like it, you will see.
You would bomb Nagasaki!!

I have bombed Nagasaki.
And I have bombed Hiroshima.
I will not let them be!
I have bombed Baghdad.
And I have bomed Belgrade.
And I will bomb Jalalabad.
And I will bomb Islamabad.
I will bomb them here or there.
I will bomb them anywhere.
I do not like the Taliban.
I do not like them, Osama bin Laden.

Hanoi! Hanoi! Hanoi! Hanoi!
Could you, would you, bomb Hanoi?!

I have bombed Hanoi!
And I have bombed Nagasaki!
And I have bombed Hiroshima!
Osama bin - no one gets away from me!

I could bomb, did bomb, old Baghdad.
I did bomb, could bomb, old Belgrade.
I will bomb, shall bomb, Islamabad.
I shall bomb, will bomb, Jalalabad.
I will bomb them here and there.
I will bomb them everywhere!
I do not like the Taliban.
I'll kill them all, Osama bin!

eh? On the Moon? There on the Moon!
Would you, could you, bomb the Moon?

I would bomb, could bomb, on the Moon.

Would you, could you, bomb Kabul?

I would bomb, could bomb, old Kabul.
Bomb the Moon. Bomb Hanoi.
Bomb Hiroshima. Bomb Nagasaki.
I will bomb them to a flea!
I will bomb Jalalabad.
For I have bombed Belgrade.
I will bomb Islamabad.
For I have bombed old Baghdad.
I will bomb them here or there.
I will bomb and bomb and bomb everywhere!

You do not like the Taliban?

I do not like them, Osama bin Laden.

Could you bomb on Yom Kippur?
Would you bomb on Christmas Day?
Would you bomb Guatama Buddha?
Could you bomb on Ramadan?

I could bomb on Yom Kippur.
And I would bomb on Christmas Day.
And I could bomb on Ramadan.

But it was the Taliban who bombed
Guatama Buddha, Osama bin Laden.

I will bomb Kabul. And I have bombed Hanoi.
I can bomb the Moon.
And I have bombed Nagasaki.
Hiroshima! My list goes on and on.
For I have bombed Baghdad.
And I have bombed Belgrade.
Yes I will bomb Jalalabad.
And I will bomb Islamabad.
You know the rest, Osama bin...
I will bomb here and there.
I will bomb EVERYWHERE!!
I do not like the Taliban!
And I don't like you either,
Osama bin!

You don't like the Taliban.
And you don't like Osama bin.
You have bombed Baghdad.
And you have bombed Belgrade.
One day you will bomb yourself
And nothing left, our earth will die.

Osama bin Laden. Perhaps you're right.
I will not bomb. I will not kill.
I'll wait and see. I will not fight.
I'm not as mad as you.

No, I won't bomb the Taliban.
One day you'll pay, Osama bin.
And I won't bomb Guatama Buddha.
And I won't bomb on Ramadan.
And I won't bomb on Yom Kippur.
And I won't bomb on Christmas Day.

No, I won't bomb Kabul.
Not the Moon. Not Hanoi.
Never again Hiroshima.
No never no more Nagasaki.
All life is precious and good, you see!

I will not bomb Baghdad.
I will not bomb Belgrade.
I will not bomb Jalalabad.
I will not bomb Islamabad.
I will not bomb here or there.
I will not bomb ANYWHERE!

I will not bomb the Taliban
all life is precious
Osama bin Laden...
even yours.

by ikosmos, a kosmos, of Toronto the son.