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Buzzfeed: Whiskey is for men, being a dumb baby is for women

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I am unreasonably angry about a video Buzzfeed posted on Monday, called "Women drink whiskey for the first time."


Fuck you, Buzzfeed. All proper ladies drink whiskey. I love whiskey. Friday night may as well be called, "Jameson?" (It's a "whiskey voice" not a "champagne cocktail voice," k?). BUT HEY. GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO FIND WOMEN WHO HAVE NEVER HEARD OF WHISKEY BEFORE JUST TO PROVE THAT WOMEN ARE WIMPY IDIOTS WHO ARE ALSO LIKE CHILDREN.

"Ew gross," one lady says. "I can feel it burning in my stomach," says another.

That burning feeling is the feeling of  pure, undilluted joy, noob.

Whiskey and scotch have always been presented as “men’s drinks” and even beer, which is experiencing a cultural moment as craft breweries take over city after trendy city (not complaining, nope), is still a bit of a boys club (go to your local craft brewery and find a female brewmaster, I dare ya). More generally, drinking is often treated as a male pastime. Women are offered disgusting sugary things that are pink!, lite! and taste nothing like booze. Back in the good old days, women weren't even allowed in bars and saloons unless they were prostitutes, so it's no wonder the glorious world of boozing rejects women unless our participation is obviously and totally feminized in a way that removes us from (respected) drinking culture entirely.


It's not that women don’t drink and enjoy whiskey, scotch, beer, and bars -- we do, trust -- it's that drinking culture is seen as just another male bonding experience. "Why do men get all the good stuff," you might ask. Well, because, as evidenced by the history of bar culture and male bonding practices, when it comes to to "fun," men want to do all the good/interesting stuff without us and then ship us in for the pole-dancing/blow job part.

Fuck that. Stop making us out to be no-fun (unless we're naked and twerking!), brainless, infantile, boring nags and give us our whiskey.

Also, I don't know, man. People who don't like the taste of alcohol don't like the taste of alcohol. It's not, like, a gender thing. I currently have a man in my life who doesn’t like beer or wine (I know and I don't want to talk about it). Make a video about him. Or make a video of me eating mushrooms and drinking straight vodka, if you want to film people doing disgusting things.

In conclusion, don't ever listen to anyone who tells you whiskey is  "disgusting" and here is a video of me drinking a super hoppy beer (gross you guys -- I'll have a stout):

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