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Worried about B.C. Ed funding cuts? Just bring your own hazmat suit [Satire]

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For Immediate Release

Lower Mainland, B.C.

22 May 2016



Given the current state of many public schools in this province, and in light of the inadequate response by Premier Christy Clark's government, parents of students in school districts with funding cuts are advised to prepare for increased spending on back-to-school supplies in Fall 2016.

School supply costs have been rising recently as B.C. Liberal government cuts to school district funds have resulted in fewer resources for classrooms. While teachers spend an average of $1200 per year on their classrooms, parents have been spending an average of $108 per child on traditional school supplies as well as about $150 on fundraisers throughout each school year.

This year however, parents are advised to budget  for additional expenses in the new school year to ensure their children's safety while at school:

Suggested School Safety Supply List

  1. Water testing kit to check if your child’s school is one of the 92 per cent likely to have lead in drinking water
  2. Hazmat suit to protect against asbestos contamination
  3. Reflective vests for long walks to school in the absence of schools buses or public transport
  4. Mask to protect against breathing in mould spores
  5. Mice/Rat traps (humane ones)
  6. Buckets to catch water falling through leaky roofs
  7. Personal fans/heaters to keep cool/warm in schools with aging heating/cooling systems
  8. Safety whistle to blow after earthquake so that recovery crews can locate survivors

"It's scary how dangerous attending school in this province has become," said Sue Parent. She went on to say that school used to be a safe place for children but for the past 15 years, she's noticed that parents have become increasingly concerned about the B.C. Liberal government's dereliction of duty regarding the health and safety of children in public schools.

Jane Parenting commented that when she went to school in the 1980s all her parents had to purchase were pencil crayons and a geometry set. She is alarmed at the changes in school supply lists that she’s seen over the past two decades. "When we were asked to supply photocopy paper that was bad enough but now the needs are simply shocking. One would think that it was the Ministry of Education’s duty to ensure that schools were free from mould, leaks and vermin," said Jane. "I'm stunned that the Ministry does not seem to see that."

Joe Taxpayer-Parent added that because parents were legally obliged to ensure the well-being of their children, they felt it necessary to purchase additional school supplies.



400 words


Bee Cee Voters


123 Fiduciary Duty Avenue

Victoria, B.C

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