So... that happened.

Alec Baldwin uttered these unforgettable words after emerging from a car crash unscathed in David Mamet's film State And Main.

I must say I feel just about the same way. After bitching (and this would be an appropriate word, because I have been a fucking bitch about this a lot of the time) for the past 16 years about decriminalizing sex work, something wholly unexpected happened on Tuesday afternoon.

Sex work was decriminalized in Ontario.

I was picking up some groceries at Fiesta Farms when I got the news on my BlackBerry. A flurry of emails and texts from colleagues at Maggie's and other sex worker rights organizations (mostly, "WTF? Is this really happening?") proved that, yes, this was really happening.

I wrote this emceeing for Granny Boots Sex Work cabaret tonight in Toronto -- and on the heels of a victory against the state to give more power to sex workers so police stop arresting and jailing us. I feel like it's an important time to be honest about where we are at in the movement if we really want to move ahead strongly and actualize true decriminalization across Canada. (which is a very good thing people!) And yes there are lots of expletives but I'm speaking the English language of the colonizer -- so I don't fucking care.

Dear sex work movement/activists/or people who just don't fucking get it.

I want to talk to you and I want you to try and get what I'm saying here. For real this time.

Dear Sasha,

My mother has been in a relationship with a man for over 10 years.

They met in the late 90s on ICQ (if you remember that early social networking application). She had just come out of a really bad and messy divorce from my father, and this man had come out of a divorce as well.

Mum and this man live together. They're common-law, in each other's wills, they share bank accounts. His kids and I are all grouped together as one family now. He makes her happy in a way that she never was with my father. And if she's happy, I'm happy.

Dear Sasha,

The hunt for a woman has been terrible for the past year, so I'm thinking of using the services of a sex worker for the first time to ease that natural instinct of mine. Is it okay to be selfish when it comes to dealing with a prostitute?

Let me explain myself. I am a gamer. I play a lot of video games. I never asked my ex to blow me while I play because I thought it would be disrespectful and selfish. Can I ask a prostitute to blow me or ride my cock while I play a video game, or will it interfere with her work? It's been my fantasy for a while now. The idea of being a "war hero" and getting rewarded for it at the same time turns me on.

Horny Gamer

Dear Sasha,

My girlfriend went into menopause unexpectedly at 31, when a simple (botched) surgery ended in her waking up with a complete hysterectomy.

She is the only daughter, and her brother never had children of his own because he married a woman who already had five.

Both she and her parents really wanted her to have children of her own. When she and I met, we agreed that we, too, wanted children. It's been five years since the surgery, and she is still distraught over the issue.

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA -- Holy fuck, is it ever hot in Las Vegas in July.

Like you-could-fry-an-egg-between-your-tits hot. But it's a dry heat, as everyone says. It's dry, and for some reason that does make it somewhat more bearable -- on the hair anyway. God, my hair looked good in Vegas.

I'm not going to lie to you -- I did not want to leave Toronto. My life exploded about two hours before I had to be at the airport, and since I'd spent the past year with my life exploded while on planes, in airports and faraway places (I am now an expert at bawling my face off in foreign cities), I was kind of flipping out. Being triggered, as the womenfolk say. But I got on the damn plane. Because, come hell or high lesbian drama, I had to get to a hooker convention in Sin City.

Dear Sasha,

I am a 31-year-old straight male, fairly experienced with long-term relationships but much more experienced being single. Single guy wants threesome -- like what guy doesn't?

I've had a few experiences but definitely want more. Relationship threesomes are always awkward, and she never really wants to "share" her boy friend, no matter what she says beforehand. I'm single and looking for that perfect threesome I had once before when I was single, but I don't know where to start looking. I can't go to a bar and approach some cute girl, saying, "Hey, I'm looking to have a threesome with you and another girl."