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Sasha: The escalating need for "more"

Dear Sasha,

I'm a 21-year-old female and regularly masturbated to porn as a teen. Now I am bored with a lot of it and find I need more shock value to get aroused.

I'm concerned about this, because for the first time I watched bestiality. I think it is wrong, and I would never consider doing it, but I watched it nonetheless because it had that sexual "shock value." Is there something wrong with me? Is this common, and what can I do?

Help

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Sasha: Friends with benefits

Dear Sasha,

I have a very close friend whom I love dearly. (Though I'm not going into that mess. My loving her is not the issue.) I've known for years that this fantastic woman has a hard time reaching orgasm. In the last year we have had two sexual encounters, during the last of which I discovered that not reaching orgasm can be just as painful for women as it is for men. To me this will not do.

So early this week I started looking into reasons why some women have difficulty reaching climax. (I've been discussing it with her as well.)

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Sasha: Easy does it

Dear Sasha,

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half. We're totally in love, committed to each other, have an open and fluent line of communication and plan to spend the rest of our lives together.

I'm bisexual and would love to share that side of me, and another woman, with my boyfriend.

In the beginning of our relationship it was such a turn-on for me to hear stories about him with past lovers and his attraction to other women, but now that our relationship has gotten more serious, I've become possessive and jealous when he expresses this attraction. It now puts a knot in my stomach.

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Sasha: STD fears and unionizing strip clubs

Dear Sasha,

I am 40, have been divorced for a few years and, apart from a LDR with a boy who is 25 that ended a year ago, have been very skittish about entering the dating world. I have zero interest in having a serious boyfriend, but as soon as I start thinking about one-night stands or FWB, all I can think about is how guys are walking disease factories who can't be trusted to tell the truth about being disease-free, and I chicken out of trying to mack on anyone.

As a result, I've had zero action for a year and a half.

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Sasha: Period sex, threesome partners and Euro-friendly vibrators

Dear Sasha,

I'm in a long-distance relationship and only get to see my boyfriend every few months. The next time we see each other is right bang (pardon the pun) in the middle of my period!

I'm in a profession that doesn't allow me to schedule my own holidays, so I can't choose another date. Same thing happened last time we saw each other, and I would prefer to have a little less technicolour action this time. I know you like the Diva Cup, but the website says it shouldn't be used during intercourse. Is there an alternative (other than a diaphragm) that I could use while having crazy, making-up-for-lost-time sex?

Can't Think of a Name

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Sasha: The burden of carnal knowledge

Dear Sasha,

My mother has been in a relationship with a man for over 10 years.

They met in the late 90s on ICQ (if you remember that early social networking application). She had just come out of a really bad and messy divorce from my father, and this man had come out of a divorce as well.

Mum and this man live together. They're common-law, in each other's wills, they share bank accounts. His kids and I are all grouped together as one family now. He makes her happy in a way that she never was with my father. And if she's happy, I'm happy.

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Sasha: Female arousal and pony play

Dear Sasha,

I am a 34-year-old queer woman. I was delighted to find that in my early 30s my orgasms became more intense and deeper, without my doing anything different. Lately, however, I seem to be having the opposite problem. Both with lovers and through masturbation, my orgasms have all the physical patterns I'm used to, with none of the climactic pleasure. So there is a mounting of intensity, a plateau and vaginal contractions, and no rush of bliss. Nothing in my emotional life is all that different, though of course I do have ebbs and flows of stress like everyone else. It also doesn't happen every time I come. What do you think could be causing this change?

Bliss Less

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Sasha: Sex, video games and the G20 mess

Dear Sasha,

The hunt for a woman has been terrible for the past year, so I'm thinking of using the services of a sex worker for the first time to ease that natural instinct of mine. Is it okay to be selfish when it comes to dealing with a prostitute?

Let me explain myself. I am a gamer. I play a lot of video games. I never asked my ex to blow me while I play because I thought it would be disrespectful and selfish. Can I ask a prostitute to blow me or ride my cock while I play a video game, or will it interfere with her work? It's been my fantasy for a while now. The idea of being a "war hero" and getting rewarded for it at the same time turns me on.

Horny Gamer

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Sasha: Masturbation guilt, sex over 60 and indecency

Dear Sasha,

I am a young woman addicted to masturbation since late childhood.

I sometimes masturbate out of real horniness (good), but the strong urges I feel between my legs are always related to feelings of guilt and stress (very, very bad). It's quite different from actual horniness, and often I won't even think about sex but about plans for the future or whatever is stressing me.

There's no correlation between my real sex life and this. My main concerns are that a) it's very time-consuming when I'm most pressed for time, and b) I might get caught and freak someone out. (I'm so ashamed.)

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