If folks would prefer this discussion be limited to women, I'll support that and bow out.

Until then, two tropes I have difficulty accepting is "Trans are X. If you disagree, you're transphobic" (or whatever nasty bullying term one can come up with). With a group as diverse as transgendered folks (I alluded to the Feinberg definitiion of "all who have at some point not conformed to gender norms", this attempt at generalization ("Trans are X...") seems unrealistic. For instance, I am definitely transgender by that standard. Is it just a matter of uttering the word?

The second trope I disagree with is more tricky. It is the bridge between trans' sense of identity (whichever) and other communities alleged obligations to them. It seems to me there is a disconnect there, as if there could not be negotiations between groups, with both entitled, but merely subservience to whichever claims of identity, as equal to entitlement. If the latter, and if the main group doesn't bow to a minority opinion that would claim non-negotiable entitklement for trans, the space where to resolve the issue seems to be the courts, no? (So far, women who resist such claims by M-to-F trans have been vindicated by the tribunals.)

Just my .02 - and I am out of here if you prefer... or posting no more than once a day. These are issues I am really working on and I am much appreciative of the reference posted by Maysie: My Gender Workbook of which I've read all I could on-line.