Who will deliver us from the evangelists?
Let's start this one off with a good news story:
Even Crossroads Television System (described at the link as "a small Christian broadcaster and producer of religious programming") has a breaking point and has removed one of these asshats from its schedule.
[...] has permanently pulled Charles McVety's Word TV from its schedule for having repeatedly violated the station's Code of Ethics.
Word TV was the subject of a Canadian Broadcast Standards Council ruling in mid-December, which found that McVety had violated multiple clauses from three different broadcast codes. This included multiple verifiable lies broadcast on the subject of gay people, including announcing that gay people have an "insatiable appetite for sex, especially with young people," that the Toronto Pride festival actively promotes sex with children, and that it's illegal in Canada to speak out against homosexuality.
I only watch PBS, and sometimes the history channel for laughs, but I thought I'd at least answer this little prayer.
Who indeed will deliver us from the Evangelists. Well, as is less often than generally thought, I have a plan. Ya see the Evangelists are counting on being elevated body and soul straight into Heaven at the rapture. So I'll oblige them. Being basically a bunch of anti-science flat earthers of course, they don't realize that the air starts becoming unbreathable a bit past 12,000 ft, and Heaven is, lemme see, uh...237.73582914 parsecs beyond that. They'll be a bit blue when they get here, but I'll probably send Quentin Crisp down to the main gate to deal with them in the conventional way, like I did with Falwell. (shoulda' seen his expression!
) He'll send them on down to the mezzanine level where they'll be roasting marshmallows and sweeping up brimstone.
Just waiting for a few more signs of the apocolypse.
peace,
Well, not meaning to question your omniscience (and trying, very hard, to avoid your fabled wrath) but exactly how many bloody signs of the apocolypse do you really require?
And when you do get around to it, please remember our Australian friends.
[ETA: and who the hell photoshopped in the dog? Even at that age I had a cat, not a dog]
There's a few more apocolyptic signs yet. One of them is an NDP CPC coalition.
About that Austalia article, I'm not going to stop the weather, but I just might visit a few locusts and a boil or two on that so-called Dr.Nalliah.
Oh, and about the recent floods: Well heck, look at a globe...AUSTRALIA'S UPSIDE DOWN! I though all the water would just fall away! Really. I'm very very sorry!
If i get to ban GOD before my moderator time is up, I will be sooooo happy.
What are you waiting for? After long periods of non-intervention in human affairs, she has taken to spamming!
Of course if you do intervene and make it happen, we'll have to call children's aid on you for being an unfit mother. Let us make our own mistakes - it's the only way we'll learn. You just ring the bell when skool's out at summer's nigh an' all that.
Dear God: Please deliver us from the Conservatives. They're flushing this country down the drain.
*sucking up to the big gal* Hey, this thread is supposed to be pointing out the manifold stupidities of evangelists, not picking on GOD. As the originator of the thread, I have absolutely no problem asserting what the intentions were.
It's funny how certain ideas some of us in the political middle and middle-left share with right wing televangelists though. And some of those views are fairly extreme.
Some of us?
I always post this when god shows up.
*waves at bagkitty, unsure if I'm the big gal he's referring to, or if he means god. Whatev. Waving *
LOL, I am capable of major league sucking up, so why not both of you?
*waves to Maysie*
Maysie, you rock! Joan Osborne has been one of my favourite singers for a long time, and I have all of her albums, except for when she sang the Dead.
Here's her latest news:
JOAN OSBORNE LAUNCHES THEATRICAL PRODUCTION OF "LOVE AND HATE", PREMIERING AT LINCOLN CENTER ON FEBRUARY 4th
New York, NY (January 5, 2011) --- Eight time Grammy Award nominee and multi-platinum recording artist Joan Osborne will perform Love and Hate, in the Allen Room at Lincoln Center on February 4th.
Love and Hate is a fascinating, sexy and emotionally charged performance piece centered around a song cycle exploring modern romantic love and its undercurrents of anger, fear, pride and passion. Anchored by the soulful voice and inspirational writing of Ms. Osborne, Love and Hate is a vibrant theatrical multimedia experience that combines music, dance and film in a soulful and riveting exploration of the human heart.
Following its Lincoln Center debut, Osborne hopes to launch an international touring
production of Love and Hate with a live symphony orchestra performing together with her band and dancers.
Osborne studied theatre arts in college and attended NYU film school on a scholarship. She is internationally known as a formidable talent in music, and now brings together her three lifelong passions in this unique production. "From the beginning, the music of Love and Hate seemed to cry out for a more theatrical presentation that I have ever attempted before" Ms. Osborne says. "I'm so excited to have a chance to explore new territory a an artist, and so grateful to Lincoln Center for welcoming this new project into their Songbook Series.
Ms. Osborne, who has performed and collaborated with Bob Dylan, the Grateful Dead, Stevie Wonder, Luciano Pavarotti and the Dixie Chicks, developed Love and Hate together with long term collaborator and guitarist Jack Petruzzelli who has worked extensively with Patti Smith and Rufus Wainright.
You know if I really do exist, and there are days I'm not sure myself, that song is more spiritual and genuinely holy than pretty much all the other crap written for or about me. Always liked it.
Oh yeah, like it says toward the end, the Pope does often call me. Thank Me for call screening.
So, on the plus side, god has a sense of humour.
On the negative side, fuck what an ego.
You people mock the faith - but I challenge you to gaze upon this website for but a few moments, and still remain skeptics!!!
Accept Jesus, forever forgiven!
Obviously a not-so-secret gay recruiting site. The rainbow is a dead giveaway.
... and I am still waiting for my bloody toaster ...
Unionist, that website gave me heart palpitations. And not the good kind. Like the kind my forbidden love for bagkitty gives me.
Okay, be very careful when you click this. The bible in lego. Praise the interlocking Lord!
One of the images from Maysies link - this one - made me laugh, but some of them are pretty creepy.
I don't know if everyone was getting this, but I started assigning babbler names to those little figurines in the pictures.
Boom Boom: oh my.
Slumberjack: I'm afraid, I'm very afraid.
I was visited last night in a dream. It appears that GOD will be replacing Maysie as moderator. The End times are truly upon us.
No comment, Caissa.
But I think it's apropos to post this link again: How to Spot a Masturbator. I still haven't figured out if it's satire and I'm terribly afraid that it isn't.
From the above link:
I'm not so sure it's satirical either. This sounds pretty serious, and...ewwww.
Here's some more creepy stuff c/o the Christian right.
The motorcycle position eh.
Indeed.
Christwire is satire - though I admit it gets hard to tell.
I wonder what GOD thinks of this one.
Read more: http://www.cbc.ca/technology/story/2011/02/08/technology-confession-app-catholic-church.html#ixzz1DOCGUHg3
I've already hacked into that. All the information will be on my database before you even get to church.