I will be divorced on July 2nd!

Congratulations! At last!

Umm, Michelle... will you marry me?

[Please reply by PM. By 3 PM.]

ETA: Hold on, don't answer yet - I have to find that "polygamy" thread and edit out all my posts opposing it.

Sigh. Well, at least she thought it over before answering.

Quote:

Seriously, though, is it weird to feel this much joy?

Well, one can feel joy when a toothache goes away, or when a nasty neighbour moves, or (I'm told by parents) when school starts up again in September, so really, I don't think it's that weird. Also, closure is always good. Everything that drags on and on becomes a chore of mental book-keeping. Now you can use that braintime for something else.

Anyway, I don't want to marry you, but I do have a fetish for really, really clean hair. Can we hang out? Maybe brush your hair and stuff?

mazel tov

have one on me...

Happy D-day Michelle!

And I think the elation you're feeling is about closure, not that he's out of your life for good, which I know will never happen b/c of your little one, but that it's the end, the final end, of a connection that hasn't been a connection for years.

Congrats!

Michelle wrote:

That's the day it becomes final.  The order was apparently made and signed off by the judge on June 1st, and it becomes final 31 days later, on July 2nd. 

So I have even greater news for you.....YOU'RE DIVORCED NOW!

However, either party has 31 days to appeal which is why you don't get the certificate until July 2nd.

Yea, that's just for the appeal period. However, for any other purposes, you are now single (tax filing etc). It's annoying I know, and that period can be waived by both parties when the papers are filed, but really.....you're single.

At least that is how my lawyer told it to me.

Would your former spouse appeal Michelle? :bigeyes:

Well, if you are weird, so am I.  When I was divorced officially I couldn't stop smiling as the court official gave me the divorce decree.  I wanted to frame it except that it had my ex husbands name on it so I instead keep it in a special place in my home.

It was like a confirmation to me that I had done what I needed to do to end that part of my life and that I was a capable woman who could stand on her own two feet and I had made the right decision for myself.  I actually had a really great marriage so it was not like I was happy to be out of a bad situation but when I held that paper in my hand I knew that I had made the right decision for me, for my life and where it was headed.

Part of it was also I think because when I got married my marriage certificate was the first official document that made me feel like a grown up (I was married at 22), my college graduation was also another but both documents that made me feel like a grown up were both done when I was with my ex-husband, the college because of his love and support (both emotionally and financially) and the marriage certificate - cause you need two!  But this was the first document that made me feel like a grown up that was mine, it was not meant to strengthen a bond with another person but it was meant to strengthen my independence.

So from one girl who walked out of the court with a smile on her face (and I haven't stopped smiling yet for that decision) to another, Congratulations.

Congratulations, Michelle!  I know it's been a long time coming and a piece of unfinished business for you - nothing wrong with feeling liberated by having it over and done with.

I felt a bit sad when my divorce became final, but it was only 6 weeks past the one-year separation anniversary, but I knew it was the way things should be and it was better to have it done early on, since we didn't maintain contact.  Fortunately, my ex paid all the fees so he could marry right away again.  I have to admit I was a little taken aback by being replaced so quickly!

Interesting, I had never thought about what it would mean to someone if they won a lottery and were jsut "separated".

The first thought anyone should have is to immediately get in doors so you don't get injured by platoons of parachuting lawyers.

Yes, I remember!  Nice to see things come full circle for you!

Spousal support at the least, or a division of the entire amount, I would think.

But what would you do if you did win one after the divorce?

All this makes me think about Jon and Kate plus eight and how they are separating. :D

AWESOMENESS!!!!

It's a wonderful happy dance feeling bonus!

Refuge wrote:

Timebandit wrote:

I felt a bit sad when my divorce became final, but it was only 6 weeks past the one-year separation anniversary, but I knew it was the way things should be and it was better to have it done early on, since we didn't maintain contact.  Fortunately, my ex paid all the fees so he could marry right away again.  I have to admit I was a little taken aback by being replaced so quickly!

Yeah, me too.  We actually had to put a continuance in because we had only been seperated for 11 months, and a few days when it came up in court.  My ex got remarryed a few months after it became final.  I just took it as I was such a faboulous wife he couldn't imagine having to go it alone.  But I did get drunk on his wedding day  (far far away from his wedding, though).

It's a weird headspace to be in, isn't it?  When I found out he was getting married right away, I wondered why he fussed so goddam much over me leaving.   

I'm not sure why I was sad, exactly - maybe that the marriage was never really about me, much.  Leaves a girl feeling melancholy and underappreciated.

I hear you Refuge.

Funny story - I heard from my ex this past spring, 19 years after we split.  He kept signing a guest book on a site I have an account on.  When I finally asked him what he wanted, I got this long, ever-so-noble message about how he still wondered and cared about me and what I was up to and how he's finally come to see our split differently, yadda yadda.  It 's still all about him 20 years on - I didn't even have to contribute to the conversation.  Made the correct choice on that one, I did. 

Wilf Day wrote:

 Although I never noticed your invisible chains, which you kept well-hidden.

Um, this thread is about Michelle's divorce. What she does in the privacy of her own home is nobody's business.

I'd like to take this opportunity to shill for one of my favourite causes: Don't get married, people!! Shack up!! 

I thought I would remain unmarried and now 13 years later...

Hey, Michelle, you've inspired me to get my ass in gear.  I'm a few days away from one year post-separation.  It's time to deal with financial matters and move on.  My lawyer informed me that there's no reason to get divorced unless I plan to remarry.  I couldn't disagree more.  There's every reason to get divorced.