The annual 'I Hate Christmas' thread
The other thread is too pro-seasonal, so this one is the opposite.
I hate shopping at this time of the year - all the tinsel crap and noise you have to wade through. And Christmas cards - arrrggghhh!!!! I mailed the last of mine a few days ago, and was hoping to put all the stuff away - cards, address book, stickers.... when I get more cards in the mail from folks I barely know and am too polite to ignore - so I have to get more Christmas cards because I ran short. And television at this time of the year.... schmaltzy in the extreme; excessively sentimental; maudlin sentimentality; I'm sure other words fit.
"If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "Every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart."
Well maybe that's a tad harsh. I had a lovely time at the rabble party the other night. No one talked about christmas of course.
The music... Please, please, make it stop! Or at least compose something new.
And Xmas nonsense disrupts everything else, from telkevision programming to tool displays.
And far too many people are buying e-books.
I went looking for those threads, M., could not find them. Lots of old babble names on there!
Regarding that staple, the Christmas feast: I still have leftover frozen turkey from Thanksgiving (!!!!) in my freezer, and I'm getting tired of it. I very much doubt I'll have it at Christmas - if I don't finish it up before then, I'll probably throw it out. I think I'll have a hamburger/potato/mixed veggie hash instead. Maybe with cranberry sauce, as my sop to Christmas.
I'm serving salmon this year. Maybe with a nifty sauce.
One word: earworms.
Miracle on 34th Street is playing 24 hours a day on AMC here. Make it stop!!!!
Or just change the channel....!
I'm not crazy about Christmas music, but I play this tune by Lambert, Hendricks and Ross on the show every year:
Deck us all With Boston Charlie
Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an' Kalamazoo!
Nora's freezin' on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!Don't we know archaic barrel,
Lullaby Lilla boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolley Molly don't love Harold,
Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!
Top reasons why Christmas sucks:
1. Hanging Lights - yeah, let's get the ladder out and hang lights from the roof... no danger there!
2. Socks again - thanks a lot!
3. What present to buy - aka "how much do I like the recipient?"
4."Sorry Kids, Santa Isn't Real." - breaking the news that Santa is only a capitalist mascot can be tough.
5. Traveling. God forbid I should have Christmas at my place - let's drive a thousand miles in the blizzard to our relative's place.
(some of these don't actually apply to me now - but did at one time)
Christmas tree decorated with gold and gems has admitted it may have taken the holiday spirit a bit too far....An Abu Dhabi luxury hotel that boasted an $11m (£7m)The hotel regrets "attempts to overload the tradition followed by most hotels in the country with meanings and connotations that do not fall in line with the [hotel's] professional standards", said a statement carried on the state-run news agency WAM.
Christmas haters strike again, guilt yuletide champions into fake mealy-mouthed "apology."
consumerism during this time of the year is absolutely disgusting..why do people become happy when they buy crap? I tried very hard not to let that kind of mentality influence me in anyways, its maddening and extreamly unhealthy. I avoid Christmas.
oh sign me up...I have a tree with lights, at some point I'll get the decorations on it
don't give a flying fig this year, sever case of grumps
I'm exicted about one whole present, one! that I got for a friend that will have deep personal meaning, everything else has been wrapped in obligation
So, I'm going to give in again.
I LOVE the fact I get to hang with my family.
But I hate Christmas.
It's been cool so far.
Why does everyone do Christmas???
Relax, you freaks.
They can call it whatever they like. Far be it for me to pass on an opportunity to introduce a little festive ambience to the usual state of insobriety. Sometimes they even give me liquor as gifts. Christmas ain't so bad.
Top reasons why Christmas sucks:
1. Hanging Lights - yeah, let's get the ladder out and hang lights from the roof... no danger there!
2. Socks again - thanks a lot!
3. What present to buy - aka "how much do I like the recipient?"
4."Sorry Kids, Santa Isn't Real." - breaking the news that Santa is only a capitalist mascot can be tough.
5. Traveling. God forbid I should have Christmas at my place - let's drive a thousand miles in the blizzard to our relative's place.
6. Eggnog. Ugh. 'orrible stuff.
You need to try my nog, Boom Boom. It will make you into a righteous believer. The secret ingredient is whisky.
Ruin good whisky with eggnog???
I love this topic.
Try as I may, I have a secret fondness for this season. People (well maybe not you in this thread) tend to be friendlier and kinder.
You need to try my nog, Boom Boom. It will make you into a righteous believer. The secret ingredient is whisky.
Oh, good idea! Not as sweet as rum!
What kind of whiskey? I'm partial to rye, myself.
Actually, spending time with my family goes better with rye. Softens the edges. They're still bitchy, but I don't care as much.
I had my first shot of Jameson's last week while in New Jersey. At first it was putrid, then it was yummy. How'd that happen?
So, for you humbugs:
.
.
.
Darth Moll is SO hard to buy for.
Christmas Haters, you may like this one:
Straight No Chaser - The Christmas Can-Can (Single Edit)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E-47VmFopE
My favorite is nog with D'sirono (or however you spell it). In fact I'm having a glass right now. I bought the last three cartons eggnog in the store. It's becoming quite obvious that I don't drink that much anymore because after drinking a quarter of it I can already feel it.
Woo! Go me.
I love this topic.
Try as I may, I have a secret fondness for this season. People (well maybe not you in this thread) tend to be friendlier and kinder.
I'm friendliest and kindest in April, when i'm pleased to have survived another winter.
Up-side:
We are no longer on speaking terms with our families (mostly their choice)
so can buy presents for ourselves (slippers, slippers, two hall rugs and a bandsaw) and not decorate anything
and not have to fly anywhere.
Good neighbours coming over Saturday for mushrooms and seitan in parsley sauce.
I haven't touched any rum in probably 30 years. I think I had a shot of whisky at a conference sometime in the 1990s, certainly not since then. Here on the coast, gin is the drink of choice, but I hardly touch that, either. I still have a half bottle of gin in my fridge that dates back probably to 2002 when I retired. I just don't like anything with alcohol in it any longer. Getting high is definitely a thing in my past that I simply don't miss at all. A few times in the year - only on social occasions - I might have a glass of wine or beer, but that's it, because here in this isolated village we get only really crappy wine and beer. Everytime the supply ship docks here, there's huge containers of Budweiser being unloaded - probably the worst beer made, ever. The wine that we get here tastes like tree sap. Ugh.
ETA: I haven't smoked a joint since 1970. I'd probably smoke up if I were to get a severe illness like cancer or something, heaven forbid.
I don't know if this is an I hate Christmas thing but I know it isn't part of the I love Christmas thread.
Normaily Christmas is my favourite, I love seeing people, and the holiday it was all exciting but now with a 6 month old I am finding Christmas is changing. He is not old enough to really get Christmas but I am having to let go of the Christmas I have had without the excitement of his Christmas really happening yet for him. I will see what happens on Christmas day but so far it has been a little sad.
I found my daughter's first Christmas stressful - she was only 3 months old, but everybody on both sides of the family wanted us there with the baby. We wound up at the blond guy's mother's place, Christmas eve, then had to pack up on Christmas morning and make rounds, then my mother's for Christmas dinner... The second one, when she was just over a year was bad, too. Then we decided that we would never, ever do Christmas morning anywhere but our place. I do a lovely dinner MY WAY (no turkey!!!) on Christmas eve, anybody who wants to join us is welcome and that's when we open gifts. Christmas morning is just us - stockings, good coffee and cookies for breakfast and we mostly relax all day. We go to my mother's for dinner and pretend to enjoy the jellied salad.
I sound kind of crotchety, but I actually do, mostly, enjoy Christmas. My family relationships have been more tense lately, so there's more potential for strife. Once you have kids of your own, you have to find your own groove and let go of some of the old ways of doing things. Don't feel guilty. Find what works and run with it.
Actually, that last line applies to pretty much every aspect of being a parent.
Thanks for that Timebandit, I am lucky that I have most family on opposite ends of the continents, out west, out east and down south so there are only a few relatives up here and easy visits of that I am thankful for.
Once you have kids of your own, you have to find your own groove and let go of some of the old ways of doing things. Don't feel guilty. Find what works and run with it.
Actually, that last line applies to pretty much every aspect of being a parent.
That is what I am dealing with, though I guess I don't feel guilty per say, just sad that one chapter in my life is over but I am just finding out what works for us so there are no traditions per say.
Is Santa homeless? Has global warming had its with his home? I could have sworn it was Santa who ran over my toes with a shopping cart filled with clothes.
He was as nice as could be, his eyes all sparkly and bright as he exclaimed he was sorry and hoped I was all right.
He was all decked out in red with black shiny boots and his eyes were all tinkly and bright.
All about him there was a soft golden light.
He took me quite by surprise.
I was certain it was Santa hanging about at Carnagie hall in the DT eastside.
But instead of a sleight he was pushing a shopping cart.
Does Christmas face extinction or is Christmas just going to be a little different without reindeer foot steps on the roof?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/azrainman/1004637172/
Did I mention Santa could have used a new coat and his mitts where thread bare?
I had my first shot of Jameson's last week while in New Jersey. At first it was putrid, then it was yummy. How'd that happen?
So, for you humbugs:
.
.
.
Darth Moll is SO hard to buy for.
oh you gotta try the 18 year old jamesons so smooth so sweet. Unfortunately you need to mortgage your soul to afford it even though it is much cheaper than the really snooty scotchs.
What I could get for mortgaging my soul these days wouldn't get me a six pack of cream soda.
This story, complete with graphic flourishes, should appeal to you haters :-)
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/12/year-kenny-loggins-ruined-...
Boom Boom, I don't use good whisky in egg nog. Just the cheap stuff. TB, I generally use bourbon--so still a bit sweet. But rye works just as well ("works"). I also put in a drop of rum too. But I don't use that thick yellow junk from the grocery store, I make my own with eggs, milk, sugar and cream.
"Maybe it is time to take the Christ out of Christmas... Because if this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that he commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition, and then admit that we just don't want to do it." ~ Stephen Colbert
The Meat Nativity Scene! Bacon and sausage!
Wow.... I have heard people say that bacon is god, but this takes that to a whole new level.
Not quite as fancy as some of the fusion bento box art I have seen but astounding nevertheless.
In the seven and a half years I've had to compare Canada to my native United States, I've found Canada coming out on top in most of the ways that matter to me, and differences that once struck me as glaring have become a part of everyday life.
Except for Christmas. Canadians do Christmas all wrong.
Really, this is the fault of the humble Canadian Thanksgiving. I know you thought it was cute putting it on Columbus Day and everything, but you failed to take into account the careful balance of holidays that had placed it on the fourth Thursday in November to begin with. Without a barrier Thanksgiving holding down the end of November, Christmas effectively begins at Halloween -- sometimes even earlier. Christmas music in the mall I live next to began playing in mid-October. When you consider my wife's from a tradition that celebrates Orthodox Christmas two weeks later, this effectively turns Christmas into a three-month ordeal, at considerable threat to the sanity of citizens. As an atheist, I don't believe in the power of prayer, but that didn't stop me from fervently hoping for a sudden nuclear apocalypse the other week when standing in line at Canada Post to the tune of a pop-jazzy version of "Up On The Rooftop".
And what [em]about[/em] us poor atheists, anyway? I objected to my mother's tongue-in-cheek claiming of a "birthday month" by age four, and my mother actually [em]exists[/em]. Why should Jesus get three? (Especially when they're really dedicated to Mammon.)
Technically none of that is supposed to start up until First Advent, and St. Nicholas Day on December 6.
What those holiday abusers need is a visit from Krampus to set them straght and make them pay attention to their calendars.
http://christmasxmas.xanga.com/384364744/item/
(courtesy of some anti-Christmas Christians who point out all the pagan tradition associated with the holiday)
The Meat Nativity Scene! Bacon and sausage!
Holy fucking shit! I'm so going to try and do this...
Boom Boom, that's the most disgusting thing I've seen for a long time. And that's saying something.
Euwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Thought it would be a good way to kick off the season.
How does that kick off Advent, BB?
I suppose one could add a small Advent Candle (wrapped in bacon, natch!) each Sunday to their Meat Nativity display.
I think the snow in that display is sourkraut. The whole thing is designed to take the place of turkey on Christmas Day, after having been on display for four weeks. Probably half an hour at 325 degrees should do it.
This is for Caissa: The Zombie Nativity!
omg Boom Boom you're enjoying this aren't you?
I had wondered what the "snow" was. Now my brain has that information whether I like it or not.
The one nice thing about Xmas, which I hate, is that I make my various chocolate treats.
Oh, but if you like bacon so much, here's Denny's bacon parfait. Ice cream, chocolate sauce, whipped cream, with bacon.
I think the three wise guys got lost and showed up at a stable.