The Capitalist God’s 10 Commandments

Photo: Jacob Bøtter/Flickr

1. Thou shalt honour Me as your one true God and have faith in my religion of neoliberalism, globalization, free trade, and private ownership.

2. Thou shalt accept the impoverishment of the many and the enrichment of the few, for in my religion avarice is to be valued over social and economic equity, and competition over co-operation.

3. Thou shalt not oppose the decline of democracy. I will permit you the illusion of democracy. You may still vote for and elect parties that purport to be different, but since they now all bow down to Me, it matters not which forms the government. 

4. Thy governments shalt provide my loyal corporate minions with ample grants and subsidies, and overlook their excesses in the noble pursuit of profit.

5. Thy governments shalt not tax my corporations beyond the limit of their tolerance, for the taxation of wealth and profit is the greatest evil. Any government so rash as to break this commandment will feel my wrath as I devastate its economy by relocating factories, jobs, and capital to more devout and compliant regions.

6. Thou shalt not hamper my corporations with restrictive rules and regulations. They must be allowed to treat their employees as they see fit, limitlessly exploit natural resources, and dispose of their toxic wastes and emissions without regard to the environment.

7. Thou shalt halt the excessive and unnecessary education of your youth. Education instills unreasonable expectations that could lead to clear and critical thinking. I require citizens who are docile and easily indoctrinated. You must therefore make your education system less accessible to aspiring students and more susceptible to corporate influence. This will include the incorporation of these Commandments in the school curriculum.

8. Thou shalt eliminate all barriers to the privatization of your public programs and institutions, including education and health care, so that corporations will be free to deliver these services on a profit-making basis.

9. Thou shalt endure without complaint the social costs of adherence to my Commandments, which put the rights of the rich and powerful above those of the less financially endowed majority. The strong must be free to flourish and the poor and weak allowed to succumb to poverty, hunger, and homelessness. This is the ideal society that my commandments are designed to create, and in which my corporate followers will best be able to thrive.    

10. Thou shalt obey these Commandments without question, knowing that they have been passed down from on high to my apostles on Wall Street and Bay Street, and to my loyal mass media owners. The private newspapers and TV-radio stations have been entrusted with the crucial task of spreading my neoliberal free-market doctrine far and wide. Henceforth, you must believe everything they tell you, because you will know they speak for Me, your omniscient and omnipotent Capitalist God.

The first version of this satiric parody was written nearly two decades ago by Brian Arden, while he was a member of the board of the Manitoba office of the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives. The revisions and updates are mine.   

Photo: Jacob Bøtter/Flickr​

Like this article? rabble is reader-supported journalism. Chip in to keep stories like these coming.

Further Reading

Thank you for reading this story...

More people are reading rabble.ca than ever and unlike many news organizations, we have never put up a paywall – at rabble we’ve always believed in making our reporting and analysis free to all. But media isn’t free to produce. rabble’s total budget is likely less than what big corporate media spend on photocopying (we kid you not!) and we do not have any major foundation, sponsor or angel investor. Our only supporters are people and organizations -- like you. This is why we need your help.

If everyone who visits rabble and likes it chipped in a couple of dollars per month, our future would be much more secure and we could do much more: like the things our readers tell us they want to see more of: more staff reporters and more work to complete the upgrade of our website.

We’re asking if you could make a donation, right now, to set rabble on solid footing in 2017.

Make a donation.Become a monthly supporter.

Comments

We welcome your comments! rabble.ca embraces a pro-human rights, pro-feminist, anti-racist, queer-positive, anti-imperialist and pro-labour stance, and encourages discussions which develop progressive thought. Our full comment policy can be found here. Learn more about Disqus on rabble.ca and your privacy here. Please keep in mind:

Do

  • Tell the truth and avoid rumours.
  • Add context and background.
  • Report typos and logical fallacies.
  • Be respectful.
  • Respect copyright - link to articles.
  • Stay focused. Bring in-depth commentary to our discussion forum, babble.

Don't

  • Use oppressive/offensive language.
  • Libel or defame.
  • Bully or troll.
  • Post spam.
  • Engage trolls. Flag suspect activity instead.