How to look a corporate gift horse in the mouth

quote:Dear Ms. Communicate,
I'm a vegetarian and an activist. My parents are aware of this, but every time I get a gift from them (birthday, Xmas) they give me a gift card to a large American corporation of chain restaurants that I'd rather not name because they don't need the free advertising.
Not only is there nothing on their menus that I can or want to eat, I refuse to support such restaurants on principle. How can I ask them to not purchase such gifts for me in the future?

Wants to De-Gift

Ms Communicate responds...

I read Ms. Communicate's response, and she is a nice lady, maybe too nice. If Wants parents aren't alchoholics or something they can probably withstand a more direct but abrasive hint from their "veggie hash house" child. I think I might send the flesh eater restaurant gift certificate back to them with a note that reviewed what I had already told them about my diet. And, if they still don't get it after a few years, cut off the nursing home payments. Then, watch how fast dad and mom get their act together.

Denying them access to grandchildren works, too.

So Robespierre suggests a Reign of Terror response. [img]wink.gif" border="0[/img]

[ 28 July 2008: Message edited by: Caissa ]

quote:Originally posted by Robespierre:
I read Ms. Communicate's response, and she is a nice lady, maybe too nice. If Wants parents aren't alchoholics or something they can probably withstand a more direct but abrasive hint from their "veggie hash house" child. I think I might send the flesh eater restaurant gift certificate back to them with a note that reviewed what I had already told them about my diet. And, if they still don't get it after a few years, cut off the nursing home payments. Then, watch how fast dad and mom get their act together.

Denying them access to grandchildren works, too.

Perhaps a nicer and more constructive response, would be to talk to the parents about it. If they continue to do the same thing, donating the gift certificates to a food bank or to someone who cannot afford food.

Note to self: let editorial team know NOT to let Robespierre fill in for Ms C if she goes on vacation... [img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img]

Well, Michelle, if you do, I'm sure heads will roll.... [img]cool.gif" border="0[/img]

quote:Originally posted by Caissa:
Well, Michelle, if you do, I'm sure heads will roll.... [img]cool.gif" border="0[/img]

That's highly judgemental of you... Robespierre, being the leader of the Committee of Public Safety, would never let heads roll.

He would make sure they landed in a basket.

As a bonus, Robespierre's need for baskets was a great boon to the basket weaving industry, from January 1793, to July 28th, 1794.

Coincidentaly, the basket weaving industry collopsed the morning of July 29th, 1974

Great Moments in Basket Weaving 5th Ed.

[ 28 July 2008: Message edited by: TemporalHominid ]

Things can happen when children are ignored.

Would a vegetarian and an activist appreciate that poster as a present? [img]smile.gif" border="0[/img]

quote:Originally posted by Robespierre:
I read Ms. Communicate's response, and she is a nice lady, maybe too nice. If Wants parents aren't alchoholics or something they can probably withstand a more direct but abrasive hint from their "veggie hash house" child. I think I might send the flesh eater restaurant gift certificate back to them with a note that reviewed what I had already told them about my diet. And, if they still don't get it after a few years, cut off the nursing home payments. Then, watch how fast dad and mom get their act together.

Denying them access to grandchildren works, too.

Yeah, because punishing your kids for your parents' actions will make your life that much easier... [img]rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]

I'd talk to them about it, make some other suggestions, and if they continue, say thanks and pass the gift on to someone who can use it. Looking a gift horse in the mouth is just plain rude.

My mother and MIL often buy me stuff I don't want and/or won't use like perfumed bath stuff I'm allergic to or kitchy stuff I have no room to store -- the latest was a ceramic, pumpkin-shaped soup tureen with a ladle that holds about a teaspoon of liquid. Not only hideous, but stupid and such a waste.

At this late date, I just say thank you and pass it on afterwards to someone who will use the gift. Although the tureen has me stumped as to who might use it and currently resides in a box in my basement until I get a brain wave.

I got a book gift certificate from Chapters recently. After searching for an hour, I found a collection of articles by Robert Fisk. It took a while to find, but it was worth it.

My own poetry collection is bigger than theirs. Ugh.

Can't we just tell people we don't want that stuff?

Or even better, refuse to accept it? [img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img]

quote:Originally posted by RevolutionPlease:
Or even better, refuse to accept it? [img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img]

When it comes to family, no, not without more fallout than it is generally worth.

We tried approaching family members about not buying us gifts. Siblings were no problem. Both my mother and MIL continued to buy us stuff anyway. I spoke to my mother about it, and she told me she would spend her money on whatever she chooses, and that I was making her feel unwanted and unappreciated. She obviously felt very hurt. Refusing a gift after that conversation would have created even more bad feelings and drama. Sometimes it's better to accept peoples' quirks and get along with them than to push buttons to prove a point.

Accept it graciously and then later, without comment to anyone who need not know, give it to someone who could really use it. A single gift can momentarily brighten more than a single life.

You know, I was only joking about cutting off retirement home payments. A much more effective punishment for parents who will not listen is to get them banned from Babble.

quote:Originally posted by Frustrated Mess:
Accept it graciously and then later, without comment to anyone who need not know, give it to someone who could really use it. A single gift can momentarily brighten more than a single life.

Perfect.

We have nieces and nephews who are in their 20s and 30s who simply do not understand our tastes...kitschy stuff. We always accept with a sincere thank you (because they spend time and money to give us something). I can't imagine tellling them we don't like it. They did give us a gift last year that we actually loved--a handmade photo album that took a lot of time and was nicely done (we actually love it).

Some people are just better at gift giving than others--I happen to be excellent at it, myself!! [img]wink.gif" border="0[/img]

quote:Originally posted by Sven:
Some people are just better at gift giving than others--I happen to be excellent at it, myself!! [img]wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Really? That's awesome. My address is...

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