Online threats to children overblown

I've always thought so too, Michelle.  Though we also have rules, like I think it's sensible not to let a child have a computer in the bedroom with a webcam.

This I noticed:

Children are solicited "every day?"  How does he know this, and what does he count as solicitation?  If a child gets penis-enlargement spam in his/her e-mail, is that a solicitation?

Looks like somebody is trying to make a career out of this. 

Just to emphasize this line:

I saw this story too. I have a theory (possibly harebrained) that part of the reason so much attention is focused on "stranger danger" is that if you talk about the biggest risk to children (i.e. relatives) you run the risk of being seen as "anti-family". So, anyone who wants to make political hay on this issue follows the path of least resistance and whips up paranoia about the quiet loner who lives down the street.

Am I off-base here?

No - I think you're absolutely right.  A kid has a much better chance of knowing his or her sexual predator well than having it be a complete stranger.

Although one thing that still creeps me out is sending my son into a public bathroom by himself.  Not only am I paranoid about germs (don't touch anything!  wash your hands!) but the idea that I can't know who is in there or whether he's safe really bugs me.  And if he happens to take a couple of minutes longer than usual, my anxiety shoots through the roof. 

Coincidentally I'm reading a very well written book about child porn and online predators. Yes, children DO get solicited every day. A kid signs onto say, AOL or wherever and that's where it starts. There are a ton of online predators waiting to "chat" with under age kids. Michelle is right though, the main danger is from members of their own family, who abuse them and then  spread the images of their crime, which ends up, eventually, going international. There are a ton of online pedo chat rooms, where they trade pictures, mainly of their own kids being sexually abused.Sometimes these kids are tracked down, and the police see the progression of the child's aging process, via these online traded videos and phtos. Most of these men who trade in child porn are sophisticated enough with computers to know how to encrypt their hard drives, to keep their faces out of any frames....but eventually,some do get caught and at the end of the trail is always a broken and severly abused child.

I am on the other side in this one, as I fully believe that there definitely are a lot of (mainly men) soliciting kids for sex chats, or eventual meetings.  I would never allow a child of mine to use an instant messenger service. I would never take that chance. 

I tend to agree with Stargazer.  The article linked in the OP discusses a study of social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace.  I think that's different than chatrooms.  On social networking sites, you need to be "friends" with someone before they have access to you.  In chatrooms, you can talk to strangers.  There was actually a story on CBC's the National last night about cyper predators (http://www.cbc.ca/national/blog/video/crimejustice/to_catch_a_predator_1.html).  Try going into a chatroom, saying you're a 13 year old girl and wanting to meet new friends and see what happens. 

Even with FB and MySpace and whatever else is out there now, a person can become friends with someone they haven't met IRL. 

Michelle, I think that's something that not all parents do.  If you didn't have that rule (or your son didn't follow it), I think it would increase his chances of getting solicited.  Kids can be naive and gullible.  Kids with low self-esteem or few real life friends might not see through their new online crush.   Remember that sad story of the girl who committed suicide after her fake myspace boyfriend dumped her?  That same girl could have just as easily sent naked pictures to the fake boyfriend or masturbated for him in front of her webcam.  She would have willingly gone on a date to meet him for coffee. 

As for the bathroom thing, I think germs are good for us, builds up the immune system and all that jazz.  Also, I think there are more germs on an average door handle than in most bathrooms...(not sure if that will calm your nerves about bathrooms or just cause you to worry about doors)

Every time I turn on the Internet, it automatically goes to Internet Explorer and disgusting MSN comes up.  It has disgusting images of movie stars that I find almost pornographic, headlines that belong in the garbage,  stupid articles, and advertising that I don't want her or me subjected to everytime I turn my f...ing computer on.  It poses the risk of unwanted solicitation for crap we don't need or want, the way she should look, how she should act or talk, and I don't want her raised to believe she should believe everything she reads on the Internet.  She put MSN instant messaging on my computer and it's taken over.  I just want to get rid of it.  It's like the bloody plague or a imperialist virus unleased,  and no matter what I do, I can't get it off my computer.   I just want to turn on my computer and have yahoo mail, or Rabble or something useful pop up.  Any assistance would be welcome.

I share your sentiments on that Instant messenger.  It's like a leech from hell.

When it comes to keeping our kids safe, I really think you have to quantify things.  I Mean, we are terrible risk assessors, and our media knows fear sells and they make it pretty hard to assess risk and dangers properly.

I also tend to think that by going too far keeping our kids safe, they learn fears from us.  I think there's a correlation between the drive to keep our kids safe from everything (check out a playground)  and the rise of the number of people on anxiety medication.  

I think (and not because I am Mr. Perfect-- I think this because I think I have made just this type of error)  that we aren't keeping our kids safe; all we are doing is making them nuerotic.

I also think that technology is a red herring in all this.   I think kids who get successfully targeted by predators, on line or at church or at the coach's house have been singled out because the kid feels alienated from his parents and or his peers.   Predators look for stuff like that.

So, instead of making them nuerotic by warning them about this danger and that danger, there might be more subtle, and healthier ways to make our kids less of a target and less suseptible to this kind of thing.

@ safetysue

I think there are fairly easy fixes to most of that stuff (though it has been awhile since I ran windows. Linux here). Do some research online, join a computer club or get to know a geek or two.

I'm pretty sure you can turn off that popup function. You can change your browser to firefox, or you can change your IE homepage to whatever you want, you can set any program, including MSN so it isn't part of your startup menu (doesn't come on until you turn it on). You can even give the offending person his or her own settings so you don't even see her stuff (though you might want to have a password, and you can usually get into all that stuff as an admin).

Also, if your computer is a dell, I think you have to only push a couple of buttons for it to completely wipe itself clean (including all your data, unfortunatley) and restore its factory defaults.

(edit)

and thanks for the warning. I dread the day when our kids are computer literate. THey already have a computer, which they are starting to figure out. It does have a windows partition, but the only way they get anywhere near the internet is while running linux,

I saw something really indicative of the times just last week at a four way stop.    A young teen on a bike, running the stop sign.

He was wearing a helmet though.

Hey Pie how are ya....?

I love ya tommy....

Its not just instant messengers that are the problem since I can go to a place like alamak.com and go into a kids chat room and talk to them or go into any of the chat rooms and chat with people either as a teen pretending to be an adult or an adult pretending to be a teen or even just an adult as an adult but kind and sympathetic.