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Dr. D. — on the SpongeBob case!

It's hard to keep up with everything, especially as you get older. There just seems to be so much going on, all around us. So, when I began hearing about SpongeBob SquarePants from these little ones during my stint as Santa Claus in the month before Christmas, I had to find out what in heaven's name they were talking about. About every third youngster wanted Santa to bring them something to do with this cartoon character.

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El Salvador to Iraq: Death squads come in waves

Remember the heady, idealistic days of early 2005? You know, like, January 1st through to, say, the 7th or 8th? After the 366-day bloodbath that was 2004, and once the Are-the-Tourists-Okay? angle of the Tsunami story was driven into the ground — because apparently middle-aged sex tourists are still a more compelling image of Thai suffering than orphaned locals — it really seemed as though, this year, mourning brown-skinned folks as though they were real people would be en vogue.

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Scott's predictions for 2005

Here they are:

  • The parliamentary vote to legalize same-sex marriage will pass by a comfortable margin. Opponents of the measure will subsequently express surprise when the world does not end.
  • Alberta Premier Ralph Klein will finally explain the reason for his staunch opposition to same-sex marriage.
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    Should Concordia invite Al-Qa'ida's Zarkawi?

    “Today, I feel very alone, very concerned and very sad.” With thesewords, Gil Troy, a tenured professor at McGill University, prefaced acommentary that was published in the National Post — that impoverishedflagship of the marginalized and demoralized — decrying ConcordiaUniversity's decision to bar former Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak fromspeaking at Concordia.

    Jason Portnoy, co-president of Hillel, invited Barak to lecture atConcordia.

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    Legitimancy: Coining a new word

    Legitimancy — The ability to conjure an aura of legitimacy around dubious or questionable actions through the opportunistic use of marginal truths, unverifiable evidence, supposition, wilful ignorance, calls to patriotism and fear mongering. Its successful practice requires the public to willingly suspend disbelief, ignore common sense, and reconcile obvious contradictions.

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    Rep-by-pop at the Olympics: Down Under is No. 1

    In the spirit of fair play and democracy at the Olympic Games, I propose anew form of medal standings that takes into account representation bypopulation.

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    Canada: brought to you byâe¦Molson

    Because they have so few roadblocks or referenda on sovereignty under their belts, many assume that this country's vibrant Anglo-Canadian community lacks the impassioned national aspirations of their indigenous and French-speaking countrypersons. On the surface, it does seem that the wild and raucous face-paintery of St. Jean Baptiste and the staid, pleasant, conservative firework displays of Canada Day (formerly Dominion Day) are separated by more than the mere week-long gulf between June 24 and July 1.

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    Fiddler on the right

    On a recent trip to New York City, I saw from the window of my seat on the train to Long Island a poster for the controversial production of Fiddler on the Roof, starring Spanish-Italian sensation Alfred Molina; this most recent incarnation of the old favourite has drawn a lot of fire from critics for being “not Jewish enough.”

    But though the new show has been derided by some for being a little light on the Yiddish and heavy on the foreskin, the Romantic Molina is practically Fivush Finkel when compared to the Tevye audition I saw when I arrived home to the federal leaders

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    Liberal or Conservative: same difference, eh?

    Canadians are going to the polls — maybe this spring, maybe not until the fall. When we go, we'll have to give some serious thought as to how we're going to vote. Most pundits seem to feel that now that the Conservatives have chosen a leader, there is a clear choice for Canadians — and just one choice: Liberal or Conservative. Okay, here are 10 reasons why you should vote Liberal or Conservative — it doesn't matter which one.

    I. It is what the corporations would like you to do.

    2. Support Canada signing on to the American missile defence scheme, and help legitimize the policy of putting nuclear weapons in space with the American public, the only people in the world that can stop it.

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    'Clarifying' the five principles of medicare

    “Ottawa open to revising Canada Health Act, source says” (Canadian Press March 25, 2004)

    Recently federal government officials have expressed interest in “revising” the Canada Health Act. When pressed, they insist that they have no intention of changing the five principles of medicare, but rather of “clarifying” them. Given the Martin government's predilection for free market solutions, perhaps we should be skeptical.

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