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Sasha: The burden of carnal knowledge

Dear Sasha,

My mother has been in a relationship with a man for over 10 years.

They met in the late 90s on ICQ (if you remember that early social networking application). She had just come out of a really bad and messy divorce from my father, and this man had come out of a divorce as well.

Mum and this man live together. They're common-law, in each other's wills, they share bank accounts. His kids and I are all grouped together as one family now. He makes her happy in a way that she never was with my father. And if she's happy, I'm happy.

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Columnists

Sasha: Female arousal and pony play

Dear Sasha,

I am a 34-year-old queer woman. I was delighted to find that in my early 30s my orgasms became more intense and deeper, without my doing anything different. Lately, however, I seem to be having the opposite problem. Both with lovers and through masturbation, my orgasms have all the physical patterns I'm used to, with none of the climactic pleasure. So there is a mounting of intensity, a plateau and vaginal contractions, and no rush of bliss. Nothing in my emotional life is all that different, though of course I do have ebbs and flows of stress like everyone else. It also doesn't happen every time I come. What do you think could be causing this change?

Bliss Less

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Sasha: Sex, video games and the G20 mess

Dear Sasha,

The hunt for a woman has been terrible for the past year, so I'm thinking of using the services of a sex worker for the first time to ease that natural instinct of mine. Is it okay to be selfish when it comes to dealing with a prostitute?

Let me explain myself. I am a gamer. I play a lot of video games. I never asked my ex to blow me while I play because I thought it would be disrespectful and selfish. Can I ask a prostitute to blow me or ride my cock while I play a video game, or will it interfere with her work? It's been my fantasy for a while now. The idea of being a "war hero" and getting rewarded for it at the same time turns me on.

Horny Gamer

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Sasha: Masturbation guilt, sex over 60 and indecency

Dear Sasha,

I am a young woman addicted to masturbation since late childhood.

I sometimes masturbate out of real horniness (good), but the strong urges I feel between my legs are always related to feelings of guilt and stress (very, very bad). It's quite different from actual horniness, and often I won't even think about sex but about plans for the future or whatever is stressing me.

There's no correlation between my real sex life and this. My main concerns are that a) it's very time-consuming when I'm most pressed for time, and b) I might get caught and freak someone out. (I'm so ashamed.)

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Sasha: Dispatch from a sex work conference in Las Vegas

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA -- Holy fuck, is it ever hot in Las Vegas in July.

Like you-could-fry-an-egg-between-your-tits hot. But it's a dry heat, as everyone says. It's dry, and for some reason that does make it somewhat more bearable -- on the hair anyway. God, my hair looked good in Vegas.

I'm not going to lie to you -- I did not want to leave Toronto. My life exploded about two hours before I had to be at the airport, and since I'd spent the past year with my life exploded while on planes, in airports and faraway places (I am now an expert at bawling my face off in foreign cities), I was kind of flipping out. Being triggered, as the womenfolk say. But I got on the damn plane. Because, come hell or high lesbian drama, I had to get to a hooker convention in Sin City.

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Sasha: Perfect sex and conscientious letter writing

Dear Sasha,

I am a 31-year-old straight male, fairly experienced with long-term relationships but much more experienced being single. Single guy wants threesome -- like what guy doesn't?

I've had a few experiences but definitely want more. Relationship threesomes are always awkward, and she never really wants to "share" her boy friend, no matter what she says beforehand. I'm single and looking for that perfect threesome I had once before when I was single, but I don't know where to start looking. I can't go to a bar and approach some cute girl, saying, "Hey, I'm looking to have a threesome with you and another girl."

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Sasha: The nature of (young) things

Dear Sasha,

I am a middle-aged, divorced environment writer with an affectionate eye on a much younger woman.

My friends consider me polite, outspokenly critical and a fit, reasonably good-looking man. My potential love interest, who is unattached, appreciates and even sought my mature attention to her singular life and talents as yoga teacher and videographer.

We met in a coffee shop, and superficially we have much in common. Acting, instinctively, I crave caring and sharing, and even intimacy, were her mood ever to become affirmative. I cannot yet intuit whether or not to pursue closeness with this tantalizing creature across a complex age gap.

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Ms. Communicate: How to meet single progressives

Editor's Note: This column is the second of a two-part investigation on dating for progressives. Read the first part here.

1. Online

Yes, many cool lefties are meeting online. It's not just for "losers" anymore. My own past few significant relationships of two years or longer in duration (as well as other less-significant relationships) were all from various online dating sites. The easy part is that you can already know a bit about the person beforehand, and have a sense of areas in which you will find common ground, if they answered the questions on favourite music genre and movies, etc.

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Sasha: No time for a relationship? Try a love doll

Dear Sasha,

I was wondering if you have any information on sex dolls. I am a person with no time at all for a serious relationship. I want to know about the sensation. I mean, how different could it be? We're talking like, a $200 doll. I need to know if it's a good buy.

Mr. Need To Know

I'm going to suggest you visit jackinworld.com, which offers intriguing tips on a variety of masturbation techniques and has message boards where you can ask others about their experiences with sex dolls and/or genital stimulators/simulators.

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Sasha: How to stand bi your friends

Dear Sasha,

What do most of the women you know think about bisexual/gay males? Are they turned on by the thought of watching a man fellating another man, or revolted? Would they like to part of a three-way where the men have contact with one another? You know how most males would love to see two women having sex with each other? I'm wondering if women feel the same about seeing two males together sexually.

Alex

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