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Sasha: Bathhouse encounters and Zanzibar photos

Dear Sasha,

I am accustomed to seeing people I know at the tubs and politely ignoring/acknowledging them, but nothing could prepare me for seeing my therapist in such a setting. It was awkward to say the least and made me question the etiquette around such an exchange, bathhouse and beyond. What do you do when you encounter a person in public with whom you have such an intimate yet structured relationship? How do you then continue this relationship comfortably and professionally?

Rub a Dub Doubt

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Sasha: Questioning sexual orientation and getting an IUD

Dear Sasha,

I'm a 30 year-old man and I've had a bit of a recurring problem that I first became aware of back in high school. The girl I was in love with at the time asked if I might find men attractive. I think my answer was along the lines of "Well, I could point out which I think are better looking than others, but that doesn't mean I want to make out with him or fuck him".

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Sasha: The escalating need for "more"

Dear Sasha,

I'm a 21-year-old female and regularly masturbated to porn as a teen. Now I am bored with a lot of it and find I need more shock value to get aroused.

I'm concerned about this, because for the first time I watched bestiality. I think it is wrong, and I would never consider doing it, but I watched it nonetheless because it had that sexual "shock value." Is there something wrong with me? Is this common, and what can I do?

Help

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Sasha: Vaginismus and ejaculation

Dear Sasha,

I am 18 years old and still a virgin. I realize there are a lot of people older then me who are still virgins, but it is still quite hard for me to handle the pressure. I do believe I am ready; I am just mostly scared of the pain.

That's because it hurts me to even put a tampon in. Is there anything I can do to prepare myself? Or at least make it hurt less when the time comes? I also have never had an orgasm, so I wonder if there's something weird about that. I often engage in other sexual activities, but never the real thing, and I usually get bored after a while because it never feels that great. Could you please tell me what is wrong with me?

Confused and Worried

Comments

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Sasha: 50-year-old virgin fears sexual intimacy

Dear Sasha,

I'm a 50-year-old (male) virgin. I have identified since my early 30s as gay, but even as a gay male, I've never been in a serious intimate relationship, because I've never sufficiently worked through my fears about being sexually intimate with a woman. While I assume all (or almost all) gay men have no sexual interest in women, I do have the interest to explore, but have been too scared to do so all my life.

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Sasha: Friends with benefits

Dear Sasha,

I have a very close friend whom I love dearly. (Though I'm not going into that mess. My loving her is not the issue.) I've known for years that this fantastic woman has a hard time reaching orgasm. In the last year we have had two sexual encounters, during the last of which I discovered that not reaching orgasm can be just as painful for women as it is for men. To me this will not do.

So early this week I started looking into reasons why some women have difficulty reaching climax. (I've been discussing it with her as well.)

Comments

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Sasha: Great eggspectations

Dear Sasha,

My partner and I really want to have a baby (she would carry) and we've talked about the option of having my brother donate his sperm.

I really love the idea of our baby having my genes. I'm worried that the relationship between my brother and the baby, and me for that matter, would be difficult or confusing, and I guess I'm wondering if you know of any others that have gone this route.

Comments

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Sasha: Easy does it

Dear Sasha,

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half. We're totally in love, committed to each other, have an open and fluent line of communication and plan to spend the rest of our lives together.

I'm bisexual and would love to share that side of me, and another woman, with my boyfriend.

In the beginning of our relationship it was such a turn-on for me to hear stories about him with past lovers and his attraction to other women, but now that our relationship has gotten more serious, I've become possessive and jealous when he expresses this attraction. It now puts a knot in my stomach.

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Sasha: STD fears and unionizing strip clubs

Dear Sasha,

I am 40, have been divorced for a few years and, apart from a LDR with a boy who is 25 that ended a year ago, have been very skittish about entering the dating world. I have zero interest in having a serious boyfriend, but as soon as I start thinking about one-night stands or FWB, all I can think about is how guys are walking disease factories who can't be trusted to tell the truth about being disease-free, and I chicken out of trying to mack on anyone.

As a result, I've had zero action for a year and a half.

Comments

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Sasha: Period sex, threesome partners and Euro-friendly vibrators

Dear Sasha,

I'm in a long-distance relationship and only get to see my boyfriend every few months. The next time we see each other is right bang (pardon the pun) in the middle of my period!

I'm in a profession that doesn't allow me to schedule my own holidays, so I can't choose another date. Same thing happened last time we saw each other, and I would prefer to have a little less technicolour action this time. I know you like the Diva Cup, but the website says it shouldn't be used during intercourse. Is there an alternative (other than a diaphragm) that I could use while having crazy, making-up-for-lost-time sex?

Can't Think of a Name

Comments

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