Help! Can't connect to vpn!!!

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epaulo13 epaulo13's picture
Help! Can't connect to vpn!!!


epaulo13 epaulo13's picture

..a couple months back i signed onto a vpn. it was a great 2 yr deal but unfortunately i’ve been unable to connect to the servers. i’ve spent at least 8 hrs with the company techs to no avail.

..i run a solydx os and my service provider is shaw and after contacting them leaned that they do not block vpns. i’ve changed shaw’s security setting still nothing. i’ve even changed my operating system to linux mint..still nothing.

..can anyone help? what can i do?    

Mr. Magoo

Fortunately, Linux makes this easy.

1.  use The Onion Router to download the 128-bit source code for the Peanut Butter and Jam distro

2.  compile that distro using Spanky Compiler, making sure to specify the "W", "t" and "F" switches in the command line, unless you want to erase your hard drive!

3.  when PBaJ is compiled, run the executable from a physically distinct disc.  Not a hard-drive, nor a removable drive, nor a USB device, but preferably from a server in the Azores formatted as Win16.

4.  the executable will prompt you to enter the decimal equivalent of 1A22 (Hex).  That's 6690.  If asked whether you should shift bits to the right, answer "No".  If you answer yes, return to step 2.

5.  when prompted to enter your VPN IP, make sure to convert to IPV6.  If your VPN has an IPV4 IP, substitute ".0.pi" for the least significant bits.

6.  You may need to remove and reinstall your RAM.

7.  After a reboot, you should be good to go!



This is just a hunch, but my tingling spidey sense tells me that any post from Magoo that combines Onion Routers, Peanut Butter and Jam distro and Spanky Compilers is more likely addressing issues of sexual disfunction than computer disfunction.  

Reboot your own RAM, my friend.



radiorahim radiorahim's picture

epaulo13 send me a PM so that we can talk without having to deal with Magoo being a trolling asshole.

Mr. Magoo

without having to deal with Magoo being a trolling asshole.

To paraphrase the Bard, you have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all your mirth.

Nerds need to laugh at themselves sometimes because, really, nobody else will get the joke.

epaulo13 epaulo13's picture

radiorahim wrote:

epaulo13 send me a PM

..txs radiorahim for your offer. will pm soon.

..cheers magoo!


Magoo, pretty sure that's Hamlet except there's little indication that flouncing bore had any mirth in the first place.