Pope Benedict resigns...this is NOT a joke...Pope Benedict resigns

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Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Ouellet confirms he is a piece of crap: Papal contender says issue of women in church 'secondary'

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

BREAKING NEWS - new Pope elected!

Ken Burch

At least his homilies will be silent.

Unionist

[url=http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/ouellet-not-fit-to-be-pope-abu... Ouellet makes "Dirty Dozen" list published by abuse survivors' network[/url]

Quote:

Canadian Cardinal Marc Ouellet is among the “Dirty Dozen” of cardinals who should not be considered for pope, according to the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (SNAP).

SNAP, the largest U.S. advocacy group representing abuse victims, said the dozen would be “the worst choices in terms of protecting kids, healing victims and exposing corruption.”

Meanwhile:

Quote:
A spokesman for Cardinal Ouellet said SNAP’s allegations against the cardinal were inaccurate and misleading.

Ha! Fucker isn't infallible yet, so I'll take the accusations as well-founded.

 

kropotkin1951

I wonder if during the conclave he will use SNAP's allegations as a selling point with the other Cardinals?

lagatta

In Italian, il Gabinetto di avvocati Di Destra, Omofobo e Misogino.... Has a certain ring to it, non è vero?

Other than Mr Bean playing Cardinal O'Brien, Michel Piccoli as an unwilling Pope in the commedia all'italiana "Habemos Papam"...

In which I discover that the English version has the title "We Have a Pope". (In French, they kept the Latin title).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_Have_a_Pope_%28film%29

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Election of new pope will be 'very unpredictable,' as cardinals seek answers on corruption

excerpt:

The Vatican’s administrative shortcomings were thrust into stark relief last year with the publication of documents stolen from Benedict XVI’s desk, which exposed the petty infighting, turf battles and allegations of corruption, nepotism and cronyism in the highest echelons of the Catholic Church.

excerpt:

Yet the first day of discussion was rocked by new revelations of scandal after Scottish Cardinal Keith O’Brien admitted that his “sexual conduct has fallen below the standards expected of me as a priest, archbishop and cardinal.”

O’Brien last week resigned as archbishop of St. Andrews and Edinburgh and said he wouldn’t participate in the conclave after four men came forward with allegations that he had acted inappropriately with them — the first time a cardinal has stayed away from a conclave because of personal scandal.

excerpt:

At a briefing discussing the priorities for the future pontificate, George said the next pope will have to follow canon law and keep priests who molested children out of parishes.

(bunch of hypocrites - recent popes and bishops simply moved molesting priests around from parish to parish, and gave a few the protection of the Vatican from prosecution)

excerpt:

Vigano’s letters to the pope were the most explosive leaks of documents last year; in them, Vigano pleaded with Benedict not to be transferred after exposing alleged corruption in the awarding of Vatican contracts that cost the Holy See millions of euros (dollars).

excerpt:

In his new book “The Crisis of the Vatican Empire,” Franco paints a portrait of a Vatican completely falling apart, with financial scandals at its bank, backstabbing among its ruling class and the sex abuse scandal discrediting the church on the global stage.

“In a way the pope decided to sacrifice himself because he couldn’t change anything,” Franco said.

Ken Burch

kropotkin1951 wrote:

I wonder if during the conclave he will use SNAP's allegations as a selling point with the other Cardinals?

More importantly, will any of the cardinals get exasperated at the mention of the group's name and shout "Oh SNAP!"?

(admit it, we all WANT that to happen).

lagatta

I most definitely do NOT want our homeboy Ouellet to become pope, though there was a funny traditional-style song this morning about what a great business opportunity it would be for the backwoods region he hails from (including a factory making plastic Jesuses).

 

Ken Burch

There could be a joual translation of

 

Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,

Long as I have my plastic Jesus

Riding on the dashboard of my car

Through all trials and tribulations,

We will travel every nation,

With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

 

{Refrain}

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus

Riding on the dashboard of my car

Through all trials and tribulations,

We will travel every nation,

With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

 

 

 

kropotkin1951

Here is good comedy version of that John Prine song. The intro and commentary in the song is hilarious.  Maybe the company in Quebec could use it for their advertising.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRVK1FzC_Wk&playnext=1&list=PL6F01C9E655...

lagatta

That is great. Since country-rock singer (and environmental activist) Richard Desjardins hails from the same region as Ouellet, he'd be a natural doing an Abitibian version of the plastic Jeebus song for the hypothetical Plastic Jesus factory. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Desjardins

Here is a youtube of a comic (but very grave) country song by Desjardins in the same vein, though the country/working-class Québec French might be difficult to understand. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjP2YtnNUoc

Here is a transcription of the lyrics:

À pêche j’me suis perdu

dans des ch’mins d’compagnies

Pus d’arbres à perte de vue

« Belle job ! » que j’me sus dit.

Fallait qu’j’me sorte de là

j’ai app’lé la Sepaq.

J’avais du temps d’vant moi

fait qu’j’ai vidé un lac.

Qu’est-cé que j’vois, l’Indien.

Pas d’bonne humeur pantoute

’ec les oreilles dans l’crin.

Y m’dit : « Tu détruis toute. »

Quand même ça s’ra ma faute,

qu’est-cé qu’tu veux qu’ça m’fasse ?

Si c’est pas moi c’t’un aut’

qui va l’faire à ma place.

Moi itou j’ai des enfants.

J’leu’ laisse des beaux restants.

Pis si sont pas contents

leu’ reste l’Agonistan.

« Pis toé, t’encore vivant ? »

Dis-toi qu’c’est mieux que rien.

Pis si t’es pas content

r’tourn donc d’où c’est que tu viens.

J’pille, j’pille, j’pille

Ben correct, ben correct.

J’pile, j’pile, j’pile.

Me d’mande quoi faire avec.

Moi j’en vois pas d’problème :

skidoo, seadoo, quat’roues

Chu dans « l’club des ben d’même ».

Des fioumes pis ben d’la broue.

C’est pas dans mes talents

d’expliquer l’existence.

Un cerveau à deux temps

ça pense pas, ça dépense.

Chu fier d’êt’ignorant,

c’est comme un droit acquis.

Pas besoin d’êt’ savant

quand t’as un’carte de crédit.

Pas d’farce moi j’ai deux bacs :

un bac vert, un bac bleu,

un pour les faces à claques

dans l’aut’ j’mets des quêteux.

Pis laisse-moi pas tout seul

avec un écolo.

Une coup’ de claques su’à yeule

pis ça va faire d’l’écho.

Y toff’ra pas une ronde.

Avec ses beaux discours

y voudrait sauver l’monde ? (ben)

Y va s’sauver tout court.

J’pille, j’pille, j’pille

Ben correct, ben correct.

J’pile, j’pile, j’pile.

Ché pus quoi faire avec.

Le développement durable

c’est pour ma grosse bedaine

Pis chu même pus capable

de m’voir le boute d’la graine.

***

Richard Desjardins, Auteur-compositeur-interprète

Unionist

Ken Burch wrote:

Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,

Long as I have my plastic Jesus

Riding on the dashboard of my car

We grew up with a more gender-equal version. Right after the above-cited portion, we sang:

Quote:
Went to the drive-in, it was scary

But I had Magnetic Mary,

Stuck on to the dashboard of my car.

 

lagatta

Ours was similar:

I don't care if it's dark and scary

'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary...

Ken Burch

"Magnetic Mary" was in the full set of lyrics that I quoted the stanza from...it's just that I didn't want to quote the entire freaking song.

 

Unionist

lagatta wrote:

Ours was similar:

I don't care if it's dark and scary

'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary...

Drive-in movie theatres were banned in Québec for decades - not sure when the ban was lifted, but it was certainly sometime after the Quiet Revolution - because the Catholic Church had correctly divined what went on there... And being the guardians of virtue, they weren't taking a back seat to anyone!

That's probably why you didn't have the drive-in reference in your version.

 

lagatta

And another golden oldie!

Tom Lehrer's Vatican Rag:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvhYqeGp_Do

Unionist

If they abolished celibacy, would the Pope still be inphallible?

 

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

I have Tom Lehrer's greatest hits, with the Vatican Rag. It's an oldie but goodie.

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

Jason Kenney on QP this morning praising Ouellet to the skies. Big surprise. Money mouth

kropotkin1951

Yes I feel the love coming from Jason all the time. He is a great role model for catholic youth everywhere.  So is his hero Cardinal Aloysius Stepinac.

 

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

I'm sure Kenney has leadership aspirations. He says the election of Ouellet will result in a religious earthquake in Canada, driving the church back into relevance.

Pope Ouellet will probably be the death of the church, and Conservative Leader Kenney will probably kill the Conservatives. One can only hope. Smile

contrarianna

I see an odds maker has Richard Dawkins 666 to 1

http://www.oddschecker.com/politics-and-election/next-pope/winner

Ken Burch

Unionist wrote:

If they abolished celibacy, would the Pope still be inphallible?

 

not sure about that...but he'd probably be impregnable.

Ken Burch

Least Popular Pope Names(from The Onion) :

http://www.theonion.com/articles/least-popular-pope-names,31563/

 

NDPP

Thousands of Dutch Girls Abused by Priests Since 1945: Report

http://www.presstv.com/detail/2013/03/11/293085/priests-abused-thousands...

"Thousands of Dutch girls have suffered sexual and physical abuse by Roman Catholic Church officials since 1945, a report says..."

 

Clergy Sexual Misconduct

http://www.baylor.edu/clergysexualmisconduct/index.php?id=64401

"Largest national (US) study of clergy, sexual misconduct with adults: More common than previously thought, occurs across denominations and religions..."

josh

A tweet recently posted:

Pink smoke coming from the Sistine Chapel, "It's Raining Men" heard blaring from Vatican cassette player

kropotkin1951

Here is cartoon in much the same vein. Wink

 

 

 

Catchfire Catchfire's picture

oldgoat

Habemus Papem!

Mr.Tea

They say that if it were a quick election, that likely points to Cardinal Angelo Scola of Milan, who was seen as the safe, consensus pick.

oldgoat

Say what you will against the Vatican, they've got one helluva costume department.

Mr.Tea

Pope Francis, formerly Jorge Mario Bergoglio, of Argentina.

josh

Seems like another conservative, in the Ratzinger mold.  And at 76, probably another short termer.

kropotkin1951

Are there any Cardinals that aren't conservative especially on issues like abortion and homosexuality?  I like the fact that he actually seems to have lived a modest existence even after being elevated to Cardinal.

 

voice of the damned

He's the first Jesuit Pope, apparently, they being arguably the most liberal order(not at all beloved by the late JPII). He seems pretty personally conservative, though, from what I've just been reading.  

janfromthebruce

oldgoat wrote:

Say what you will against the Vatican, they've got one helluva costume department.

thank you old goat for the best laugh of today (and yes, I may steal it for sinester use) Kiss oops, forgot my angel disguise Innocent

janfromthebruce

josh wrote:

Seems like another conservative, in the Ratzinger mold.  And at 76, probably another short termer.

don't count on that Josh, they like to keep them well preserved and almost noticably breathing until the bitter end. But there is a silver lining, no Canadian pope homeboy Ouellet and Jason Kenney's catholic rapture is foiled. Thank you Argentina.

kropotkin1951

The new Vatican theme song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1yih-p6uiw

6079_Smith_W

oldgoat wrote:

Say what you will against the Vatican, they've got one helluva costume department.

Time to dust this off gain:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYzRL9YIswQ

 

Ripple

The sins of the Argentinian church http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/belief/2011/jan/04/argenitina-vi...

Meet the new pope. Same as the old pope.

kropotkin1951

I love the fact that the new Pope from the New World is a son of Italian immigrants.  If you had to get an "non-European" an Italian settler seems like a logical choice.

Unionist

Is it true he had to pass a "no Indigenous blood" test?

Pass it on.

Michelle

Hey, I heard they elected a liberation theologian who supports gay marriage and women in the priesthood!

Oh wait, no, that was in an alternate universe.

radiorahim radiorahim's picture

The obvious question about a pope from Argentina is...what was he up to during the fascist "Dirty War"?

Here's at least a partial answer.  He sure wasn't an Oscar Romero.  I'm sure more will come out over the next few weeks.

kropotkin1951

Romero started out as a very conservative Bishop but he had his eyes opened and was murdered because he refused to be silent after his epiphany.  Pope Francis either never had his eyes opened or he was so bereft of the Holy Spirit that he said nothing preferring silence to risking his own well being.

radiorahim radiorahim's picture

"Brothers, you came from our own people. You are killing your own brothers. Any human order to kill must be subordinate to the law of God, which says, 'Thou shalt not kill'. No soldier is obliged to obey an order contrary to the law of God. No one has to obey an immoral law. It is high time you obeyed your consciences rather than sinful orders. The church cannot remain silent before such an abomination. ...In the name of God, in the name of this suffering people whose cry rises to heaven more loudly each day, I implore you, I beg you, I order you: stop the repression"

- Oscar Romero March 23, 1980


Fidel

Holocaust survivors denounce pope’s Croatia statement 2011

Quote:

BELGRADE, WASHINGTON — The American Gathering of Jewish Holocaust Survivors on June 6 blasted Pope Benedict XVI over his statement about WW2 Croatian Cardinal Alojzije Stepinac.

The spiritual leader of the Roman Catholics claimed during his visit to Zagreb that Stepinac – tried and found guilty of collaboration with the fascist Ustasha regime of the Independent State of Croatia (NDH) – was a defender of Jews, Orthodox Christians and anyone under persecution.

That regime ran death camps, including the largest – Jasenovac, where Serbs, but also Jews and Roma, were slaughtered.

Stepinac, beatified by Pope John Paul II in 1998, is an “adored personage in Croatia”, according to a Beta report, citing AFP.

He was another good Pope. Good for nothing.

Fidel

Pope Francis I: Bergoglio Has Ties To A Dark Period For The Catholic Church

Quote:

Bergoglio contended to writer Sergio Rubin that he hid these people to keep them from the violent military junta, not the Human Rights Commission — even as his Jesuit order and Church leaders publicly endorsed the dictatorship.

He later said the endorsement was one of political pragmatism, which is understandable in the face of certain death, if not exactly righteous, according to the AP.

Bergoglio also faced criticism from human rights lawyer Myriam Bregman, who tried to bring the Catholic leader to court for allegedly turning over two priests to Argentine death squads — charges which others have denied.

In any case Bregman sees evidence in Bergoglio’s statements that he knew of the dictatorship’s crimes. “The dictatorship could not have operated this way without this key support,” she said, according to the AP.

Where do they get these fascist motherfuckers? 

Slumberjack

Historically, its often been the case that questions such as 'what did he know and when did he know it,' surface nearer toward the end of a person's tenure.

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