Female Bisexuality

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Catchfire Catchfire's picture
Female Bisexuality

Jessie J, Cynthia Nixon and female bisexuality

Although it's fantastic that the Jessie J "scandal"belly-flopped because most people didn't actually care whether she's gay or bi in the first place, I've yet to hear anyone challenge the premise of the claim itself: the presumption that it's easier to come out as bisexual than gay.

The assumption that bisexuality is a softer way of coming out feels rather insulting to all the bisexuals who experience hate and prejudice, but sometimes, particularly for women, there's an element of truth to it. Not because homophobes don't mind same sex relationships if one partner is bi, but because they think we're a joke, not a threat. Our society still promotes the belief that anyone who can choose between men and women will, in the end, choose a man for a life partner.

The denial of male bisexuality happens too, but, interestingly, it manifests itself very differently. A joke in Sex and the City sums it up: all the bisexuals they knew in college, both male and female, ended up with men. I can't speak for others but that is simply not my experience.

What an odd world we live in where a woman can have a faithful same sex relationship for years but still be accused of being heterosexual because she identifies as bi, but when a man holds his friend's hand or kisses him drunkenly, the very same people can declare him "obviously gay". (Other things I've heard given as "proof" of male homosexuality: enjoying fruit cocktails, straightening hair, wearing bright trainers, painting nails, wearing eyeliner or, er, watching Friends.)

By redefining every openly bisexual woman as a lesbian no matter what they say with their own two lips, and shushing bi people out of a debate which is actually about them as well as about gay people, an important point about LGB pride gets lost.

Some great comments too.

Issues Pages: 

it's because everything in our society has to be compartmentalized into neat little categories so we can all define ourselves to the "normal"...

when really sexual orientation is different for different people.  but the idea of labelling bisexual people as gay is more a reflection of how little most people know about sexuality.  not to mention, who really cares?  it's really nobody's business who someone else is fucking!

the other thing here is this is a case of celebrity gossip which is just a bunch of people gabbing about a social circle they are not part of so they can make money selling stories about the lifestyles of the rich and famous to people who are also not part of that circle.  just like the royal family tabloids...they make up all kinds of fake stories about weight gain/loss, plastic surgery, non existant babies, and all other manner of rumors so really  i think anyone who takes this stuff seriously needs to be asking more questions of themselves as to why they waste so much time and money on this garbage...