Good commercials, dumb-ass commercials

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jas
Good commercials, dumb-ass commercials

There's a TV commercial out now that starts out looking like a dating personals commercial, and shows a man-woman couple talking to an anonymous interviewer about how they met and their relationship. Then the woman says, "...and then our relationship stalled." Then I think she (or the announcer) says "so I decided to do something about it", and the next thing we see is the woman at a fitness equipment store buying an elliptical. And it turns out the commercial's about this elliptical! It would be hilarious if it weren't so sad. I just thought, wow.

I mean, if you actually try to ponder the logic of this ad, it becomes comical: What does "stalled" mean? They stopped having sex? Because she was getting too fat? They stopped talking and enjoying each others company? Because she was getting too fat? Never mind that the "problem" could also be solved by her joining a gym, or by her dumping his ass... "so I decided to do something about it: Now I'm with Jean!" :)

(I think this also ties in with the recent threads on porn culture, and how beauty standards for women overlap with that, but that's not what the thread has to be about.)

 

jas

On the plus side, I LOVED the Help Child Soldiers commercial (not sure if it's still running). Was just floored when I first saw it, on prime-time TV, I believe. I think it carries a larger, more general anti-war message.

http://theinspirationroom.com/daily/2009/help-child-soldiers/

 

Jerk Jaws

jas wrote:

I mean, if you actually try to ponder the logic of this ad, it becomes comical: What does "stalled" mean? They stopped having sex? Because she was getting too fat? They stopped talking and enjoying each others company? Because she was getting too fat? Never mind that the "problem" could also be solved by her joining a gym, or by her dumping his ass...  

Yes, dumping his ass...  definitely

thorin_bane

Could be about when you "plateau" in weight lifting or weight loss. You reach a stalling point where you neither go up nor down. No gains.

It is aimed at fitness people who would get that in joke.

al-Qa'bong

I like those car ads with the "bad decision" (picking up a hitchhiking guy who's carrying a chain saw; vaccuming your last eyeball)) vs. "good decision" (buying the car).

jrose

Here's a dumb-ass commercial telling young girls they can fulfil all their dreams if they want to -- but only if their dreams consist of being a housewife. Talk about enforcing gender roles from a young age!

This is part of the jingle:

"I love when my laundry gets so clean; Taking care of my home is a dream, dream, dream!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVgHrV9H-8k

And if you want to torture yourself MORE, here's another:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dXlAjCU8G4

al-Qa'bong

Those "wrapman" commercials bug me.  Whoever is responsible for them should be wrapped in polyethylene and dumped in very deep water.

Tommy_Paine

 

I HATE ALL THE BILLY MAYS COMMERCIALS WHERE HE YELLS IN NEAR FALSETTO.

Fortunately, they will be making no more.  Mays died a few weeks ago.  Unfortunately, his family has been unable to lay him to rest.  Apparently, the funeral home fees more than doubled the advertized price when shipping and handling was included.

 

.....what, too soon?

 

 

 

fiidel_castro

Here is another blatant commercial lie: It is a Shell gasoline commercial and they have three people dressed up in scientists outfits and they are talking like they know something about gasoline technology. Anyway, they say that they have improved Shell gasoline and that everyone should buy it because it cleans your engine as you drive due to a new technological advance, blah, blah, blah. The funny thing is this, I recognized one of the actors playing a Shell 'scientist' and he was a side actor from time to time in the Dave Chappelle Show. Needless to say, this kind of killed the illusion of the intelligent Shell gasoline scientists. 

al-Qa'bong

Hello, I'm not a Shell Oil executive, and thus a soulless pillager of natural resources and someone responsible for the murder of environmentalists such as Ken Saro-Wiwa, but I play one on TV.

Wilf Day

Here's a commercial site that is pure fun.

Note: Be patient with the download, don't click on anything; just wait a few seconds and watch what happens!

By the way, HEMA is a Dutch department store. This is its product page. You can't order anything and it's in Dutch, but this company has a sense of humor and a great computer programmer.

remind remind's picture

You know I am really hating on the recent Subway trained chimp commercials flooding the airwaves.

They are offensive in the extreme to those they want as customers.

The announcer is talking to people as if they have comprehension problems, and then we have all those trained computer animated chimps, blinking their eyes vacantly, and doing what they were "programmed" to do, and showing us we need to "buy Subway".

Stephen Gordon

The Staples 'Back to School' ad gets funnier every year. If you have school-age kids, that is.

M. Spector M. Spector's picture

All-time dumbest beer company slogan: "Stay thirsty my friends."

How exactly am I to do that? By not drinking your beer??

bekayne

M. Spector wrote:

All-time dumbest beer company slogan: "Stay thirsty my friends."

How exactly am I to do that? By not drinking your beer??

But he's the most interesting man in the world!

Star Spangled C...

Actually, thos Dos Equis ads are, in my opinion, the best ads on TV these days!

Stephen Gordon

Michelle

Stephen, I also LOVE the Staples back to school ads, always have since the first one.  But honestly, I think nothing beats the first one they ever did (the one you linked to).  Those kids were priceless in that one, as was the dad dancing through the aisles. :D  The follow-up ones are amusing too, but the first one was classic.

Michelle

Ha, this one is pretty funny, but apparently it was banned.  I've never seen it, or heard of "Value City" so maybe it's a US store?

Anyhow, here it is.

Tommy_Paine

 

Cute.

Of course, everyone will have a surpressed giggle over one of the others, "Bad Eyes" but no one will admit it. 

I watched a few banned commercials.

 

Stargazer

This is gross:

http://www.transfatty.com/supermodelmeat.html

 

This site is excellent. Lots and lots of bad commercials and bad ads.

http://copyranter.blogspot.com/

 

Sandy47 Sandy47's picture

The Dos Equis commercials are great, but the 'creative' team at Rogers Sportsnet has once again established new lows in trying to "parody" them in their baseball promos.

 

I like the store-bought pizza commercial with a Dean Martin impersonator singing random italian-sounding words in the background. Trouble is, it has stuck me a big ol' earworm and I can't remember the name of the real song...

Maysie Maysie's picture

My all time favourite commercial is this one.

Bunnies playing poker.

I didn't know the poker chips were sliced carrots until about 15 seconds in when one of the bunnies starts to nibble on them. Sooo cute.

Michelle

Maysie, that's hilarious!  I've never seen that ad before - how is it that I missed that one?  Too much time babbling, not enough time watching TV, clearly.

M. Spector M. Spector's picture

Sandy47 wrote:

I like the store-bought pizza commercial with a Dean Martin impersonator singing random italian-sounding words in the background. Trouble is, it has stuck me a big ol' earworm and I can't remember the name of the real song...

That's no Dean Martin impersonator. [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQbqT0-UH9c]It's the real McCoy[/url]

G. Muffin

Maysie wrote:
My all time favourite commercial is this one.

Bunnies playing poker.

I didn't know the poker chips were sliced carrots until about 15 seconds in when one of the bunnies starts to nibble on them. Sooo cute.

That is great and I hate, hate, hate Telus. 

Maysie Maysie's picture

I know, G Pie! But their ads are brilliant! The baby goats on now? So frigging adorable! 

G. Muffin

Maysie wrote:
But their ads are brilliant!

Definitely, they are, but it's a shame they don't take just a fraction of their advertising budget and spend it on, oh, I don't know, maybe their customer service.

al-Qa'bong

I like that A&W commercial with the guy who invented the Bacon/Uncle/Somethingorother Cheeseburger.  The knowing "Yes it is" line is funny, I think.

Sandy47 Sandy47's picture

M. Spector wrote:

That's no Dean Martin impersonator. [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQbqT0-UH9c]It's the real McCoy[/url]

 

I thought he was really good... I guess that 'splains why. Foot in mouth

nussy

A take off from those great TD Bank commercials

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSx-fHvFGAY

al-Qa'bong

Is this new Nike/Tiger Woods (I can never get straight which one is the product) advert barfworthy or merely disturbing?

Fidel

al-Qa'bong wrote:
Is this new Nike/Tiger Woods (I can never get straight which one is the product) advert barfworthy or merely disturbing?
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v697/rabblerabble/1r9lpy.gif[/IMG]

Nike does disaster capitalism. Just do it?

al-Qa'bong

Hmmm, Rick Salutin likes the ad.

al-Qa'bong
al-Qa'bong

I like that TV commercial where the woman gets out of her car to kiss a toad, which turns into a handsome prince who steals her car.

Tommy_Paine

 

This is my favorite at the moment.    I'm on a horse.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owGykVbfgUE

Polly B Polly B's picture

I like the hotdog seller - hotdogs for a buck!  No that is just for the naked wiener, the bun is extra.  Bun fee one dollar.  Preparation fee one dollar.  Convenience fee one dollar.  Condiments, napkin.  Plus my time.......

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrTAUkYxPM0

Polly B Polly B's picture

Tommy I just watched ALL the Old Spice ones.  My night is complete.

West Coast Greeny

Old Spice is another example of a product which keeps competitive, not based on true quality, but on the badassedness of their commercials. 

Polly B Polly B's picture

That and the fact that it smells like your dad. Laughing

Boom Boom Boom Boom's picture

I'm beginning to really hate A&W commercials with the same two idiots every time.

Stargazer

Tommy_Paine wrote:

 

This is my favorite at the moment.    I'm on a horse.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owGykVbfgUE

 

I love love love those Old Spice commercials. Look up, look down, look up again. Now back at me. I'm on a horse. Hahahaha

jas

Was catching up on my favourite weekly lawyer drama on Global TV online the other day and was surprised to discover their first ad (they always preface a show with one or two ads) was actually a two-minute long graphic expose of cruelty to animals in factory operations.

Has anyone else seen this??

I was a bit stunned and couldn't believe that this was airing on commercial TV. At that moment, I found it too disturbing to continue watching, so closed out my browser, and I also, as is my habit, had the sound cut out at the beginning to avoid hearing the commercial, so I didn't actually catch who the org was that produced it (and was obviously paying a pretty sum to have aired).

But my immediate thoughts were: fucking brilliant.  And second, good on Global for airing it.

I would like to contact the organization to congratulate them, but also to suggest that they cut it down to a more standard commercial run time as I think it would be easier for folks to digest that way.