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This week in Idiotic Things People Do In The Name Of Feminism: Boob parade!

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Sunday was, apparently, "Go Topless Day." According to media coverage of the event in Vancouver, the purpose of the march is to "stand up for women's right to go topless in public."

CBC's headline read: "Topless women march in Vancouver for gender equality," which naturally led me to wonder what, exactly, about fighting for our "right" to bare our breasts in public had to do with gender equality.

First things first. In Canada, women won the right to bare their breasts in public in 1996, so the claims that this march is about gaining rights is a little misleading. Spokesperson Denise Belisle said the women participating in the event in Vancouver were fighting for women in other places where going topless isn't legal:  "For the women who do want to go topless, they should have that option. They do here in Vancouver, that's great, but not everywhere." How, exactly, women parading topless down Robson Street, in Vancouver, where it is already legal, impacts the law in other places is unclear.

Second, it seems relevant to mention that Go Topless Day is, as The National Post reported, "organized and promoted by the Raelians, a UFO cult founded by former French journalist Claude Vorlihan (i.e. a dude), author of 'Extraterrestrials Took Me to Their Planet.'" The National Post seems to stand out as an exception, calling the event "a publicity stunt," unlike the many other media outlets who placed it under the banner of "gender rights." Though this information should be cause for skepticism, in terms of the credibility or relevance to feminism, the media seems to be taking it quite seriously. It's no strange coincidence that news outlets seem most interested in covering "gender rights" when we're dealing with either Slutwalk or female nudity.

It is true that there is a double-standard. Aside from the douche factor, people tend not to pay much attention to men who go shirtless in public places. Women, on the other hand, are likely to be gawked at, harassed, cat-called or treated as though they are doing something socially inappropriate.

Now, as far as "gender rights" go, near the bottom of the list of concerns I have about inequality is my "right" to go topless. There are very few moments in my life wherein I feel I would be freer or cooler if only I could bare my breasts. That said, the reasons behind the fact that women don't go topless in public places as casually as men, do matter.

Breasts are sexualized in our culture. In general, women's bodies and body parts are fetishized in a way that men's are not. This is why people get so worked up when women breastfeed in public. Because breasts are, we've been made to believe, reserved for male sexual fantasies. Feeding babies with sexy sex toys doesn't fit very well with that notion.

It is for this same reason that The Province covered Sunday's march with the headline: "Everyone's a photographer on Go Topless Day in Vancouver." Because, obviously, a bunch of lecherous men felt that a march that (were we not so terribly simple-minded and misguided) could have been about women's right not to be objectified should actually be about objectifying women.

The National Post reported that "at least one participant had to hold the crowds back shouting 'You're too close,'" because, of course, female nudity is an invitation to men to behave rapily. Men think they have the right to access women in public spaces regardless of how clothed we are, but they particularly believe that women's naked bodies exist for them. What else could they possibly be for?

Of course, the message that this double-standard is sexist (I actually don't think that was the message, or really that there was any message at all -- but let's pretend for argument's sake) failed because those behind the march don't quite get it. The chant, "free your breasts, free your mind," tells me that the GoTopless folks have avoided looking at the root of the issue. There is little that can be changed at the surface, particularly when we we don't understand why the inequality exists in the first place. There is also little that can be changed, with regard to the objectification of women, simply by "freeing one's mind."

Belisle, said: "It's an education for men. Men are learning and they're learning to be more respectful." Of course, as demonstrated by the behaviour of the men witnessing the event, the exact opposite was achieved. Men did not learn to be more respectful, nor did they learn anything about women's rights or "gender equality." The march merely reinforced their belief that women's naked bodies equate to pornography -- they are to be looked at for the purposes of male pleasure.

I find it consistently sad and lazy (many days I simply don't have the energy to feel angry and am certainly not surprised) that the media and the general public refuses to engage with feminism "gender rights" unless it can somehow be pornified.

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