Women or "Ladies"
Mon, 2007-01-08 16:03
#1
Women or "Ladies"
Mon, 2007-01-08 16:03
#2
Thanks Lisa and Michelle.
In response to Lisa's column, Dec. 15th of last month and "Sugar and Spice"....
Everywhere I go, adult females are rarely called women....they're "ladies" and myself, I cringe when I hear the term. Ladies, as defined in the Oxford Canadian dictionary, Katherine Barber, editor-in-chief, is a socially acceptable behaviour, while woman is defined as...an adult female. There is then, a definite difference between calling an adult female a woman over a lady. There's a feeling of less than equality with this term.. I wonder even if people who refer to women as ladies, know the difference between the two words or...would a woman herself, say that "I never thought of it that way before!"
I've been indirectly referred to as a lady, girl and "guy" which is as generic as mankind in a patriarchal way. Tell someone you're a woman and they look at you like you're speaking in a strange language.
I wish we lived in a much more socially equal society.
[img]rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]
Mon, 2007-01-08 16:15
#3
I rarely if ever use the term ladies and I dislike being called 'lady' by anyone. It grates on me just the same way Ma'am does. I am quite proud to cal myself a woman and I feel downright silly referring to myself as a girl.
Women over ladies any day. [img]tongue.gif" border="0[/img]
Mon, 2007-01-08 16:16
#4
Hi CarolMariane. And for those who might have missed it, [url=http://www.rabble.ca/in_her_own_words.shtml?x=55361] here's [/url] Lisa's column.
Mon, 2007-01-08 16:44
#5
M. Spector
quote:
Originally posted by Stargazer:
[b]I rarely if ever use the term ladies and I dislike being called 'lady' by anyone. It grates on me just the same way Ma'am does. I am quite proud to cal myself a woman and I feel downright silly referring to myself as a girl.[/b]
When a stranger addresses you directly, how do you prefer to be addressed?
[LIST][*]Excuse me, ma'am, I think this pen belongs to you.[*]Excuse me, lady, I think this pen belongs to you.[*]Excuse me, woman, I think this pen belongs to you.[*]Excuse me, ___?___...[/LIST]
Mon, 2007-01-08 16:49
#6
Well, there's always "Excuse me, I think this is your pen." But "excuse me, woman . . ." does not exactly come trippingly to the tongue.
Mon, 2007-01-08 18:13
#7
This topic seems better suited to the [url=http://www.rabble.ca/babble/ultimatebb.php?ubb=forum&f=31]rabble news[/url] forum so I'm going to move it there!
Mon, 2007-01-08 18:20
#8
Lard Tunderin Jeezus
I call specific female people of my acquintance 'ladies' more often than not (as in "Can I get you ladies something to drink?"), but I call non-specific females 'women' (as in "the women's movement"), as I feel it is more respectful of the gender.
Am I off-base, or getting old, or what?
Mon, 2007-01-08 18:39
#9
Naw you're not off base LTJ.
And a simple "Excuse me" would suffice I think no? I certainly don't say "Excuse me young man, is this your pen?"
It amuses me that you felt the need to attach gender/sex to that question when it was clearly not necessary.
Mon, 2007-01-08 18:43
#10
Polly B
I hate it when someone refers to me as "lady". Now, if they want to go with "young lady" I can put up with that, but ma'am is just plain horrible.
Mon, 2007-01-08 19:56
#11
Malcolm
Since I know that many (most?) progressive women tend to dislike the word "lady," I tend not to use it.
However, I have never understood how it promotes sexual inequality. It is the feminine equivalent of "gentlemen," so I suppose it could be argued it preserves certain class biases, but no one is arguing against "gentlemen," to my knowledge.
(Actually, to get really technical, "lady" is the feminine of "lord," so when we refer to "ladies and gentlemen," we are actually implying the female members of the audience are of higher social standing than the males. But since no one at all uses terms like "lord" or "gentlewomen," I just stuck to the common usage.)
Mon, 2007-01-08 20:07
#12
All the mature gals of my acquaintance refer to themselves a girl or "the girls".
Anyone under 30 refers to everyone,no matter what age or gender as "you guys" as in "Whut kin I getchewguys?"
I, as an anachronism from a more gallant age, refer to any female over the age of majority as "Ma'am". [img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img] Once in a while I have to run for it but mostly,I'm tolerated through gritted teeth.
Mon, 2007-01-08 20:07
#13
How's excuse me, miss? Or Excuse me mizz?
Mon, 2007-01-08 20:57
#14
As a teacher I like Ms, which usually corrupts verbally to Miss, but as long as they know it's officially Ms, and is written as such I don't mind the verbal corruption.
Calling all females girl is like calling negros boy. It is very down degrading.
The statement "I am not a girl I am a woman" is very empowering, however when I say it I feel it has sexual overtones, I'm not sure why?
While living in Aussie 'guys' was a gender neutral term, however in NZ it is not, and I usually use terms like 'you lot' or 'people'.
Does anyone else find 'I am a woman' a bit sexual?
Tue, 2007-01-09 06:34
#15
quote:
Does anyone else find 'I am a woman' a bit sexual
Hope springs eternal [img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img]
With professional relationships, I stick to a mumbled Mi..r..s unless the (insert salutation here) initiates a more direct communication.
Conversations with middle aged women are much simpler. No pussyfooting around, just gleeful unrestrained gender bashing without all that wymyn's lib emotional baggage.
I recently had a meeting regarding insurance and the subject soon turned to dorky husbands. The agent complained that her husband was such a cheapskate that he washed out his lunch baggies. She said that she promptly threw them out...very unsanitary,etc,etc. I started laughing...same thing in my home. Many gender stereotypes are based in fact and are hilarious.
Tue, 2007-01-09 06:57
#16
quote:
Originally posted by Coyote:
[b]How's excuse me, miss? Or Excuse me mizz?[/b]
"Miss" usually connotes either youth or an unmarried state. Moreover, there is no male equivalent, except possibly "Master" -- which nobody uses anymore. This alone suggest that "miss" is to be avoided: a woman's youth or unmarried state is no more relevant than a man's. If a gender-specific general address is to be used, "ma'am" and "sir" are roughly equivalent. "Madam" is fine too -- "ma'am" is, after all, a contraction of "madam". Maybe we should go for gender-neutral addresses: "citizen" and "comrade" come to mind.
Tue, 2007-01-09 07:21
#17
quote:
Am I off-base, or getting old, or what?
Yeah, your getting old, but that's another thread. Actually I'd probably use similar terminology as LTJ. With my team at work, (we're two males and four females) I always say you guys. We've worked together for quite a number of years though, and have gotten to be pretty good friends. I tend to use "guys" as just a general collective term with people I know well amost irrespective of gender.
Tue, 2007-01-09 07:46
#18
quote:
Originally posted by Stargazer:
[b]
It amuses me that you felt the need to attach gender/sex to that question when it was clearly not necessary.[/b]
Well, he may have a point. What do you call after someone who, for example, is getting off the bus or plane, or leaving a restaurant, but they've left their bag/book/gloves behind, and you need to get their attention? Just saying "Excuse me! Excuse me!" might not do it. If there's a gender identifier, it might make them realize you're talking to them. Often when someone's saying "Sir? Sir?" or "Ma'am? Ma'am?" we know someone is trying to get our attention. So what [i]do[/i] you say? What do we say to older men and women?
[ 09 January 2007: Message edited by: jas ]
Tue, 2007-01-09 08:00
#19
Day late and a dollar short here, but I thought the article was more of an exploration of internal and external conflicts over societies, and the writer's expectations of being an enpowered woman, than it was one of political correctness on the ways we address each other.
I thought it was very interesting on that basis. But, being a gentleman, I'll leave that very interesting discussion to the ladies.
Pardon me, Ma'am, but I have to get out of here. Being flayed alive isn't my cup of tea.
[img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img]
Tue, 2007-01-09 12:00
#20
Sven
quote:
Originally posted by CarolMariane:
[b]Everywhere I go, adult females are rarely called women....they're "ladies" and myself, I cringe when I hear the term. Ladies, as defined in the Oxford Canadian dictionary, Katherine Barber, editor-in-chief, is a socially acceptable behaviour, while woman is defined as...an adult female. There is then, a definite difference between calling an adult female a woman over a lady. There's a feeling of less than equality with this term.[/b]
I looked up "gentleman" in the Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary and it included the following: [b][i]"a man whose conduct conforms to a high standard of propriety or correct behavior".[/b][/i]
So, it would seem that "lady" and "gentleman" are rough equivalents.
In the pen-dropping example, I would probably say either, "Excuse me, ma'am, but you dropped your pen" or "Excuse me, sir, but you dropped your pen".
The same dictionary includes this definition of "ma'am" (actually of "madam", for which "ma'am" is a synonym): [b][i]"used with out a name as a form of respectful or polite address to a woman".[/b][/i] Because the denotation doesn't strike me as offensive, what is the connotation of "ma'am" that people don't like?
Wed, 2007-01-10 10:00
#21
Polly B
quote:
The same dictionary includes this definition of "ma'am" (actually of "madam", for which "ma'am" is a synonym): "used with out a name as a form of respectful or polite address to a woman". Because the denotation doesn't strike me as offensive, what is the connotation of "ma'am" that people don't like?
Because when I hear Ma'am, I automatically look for my mom, or someone else my moms age. I can't be a ma'am, I am not old enough! [img]wink.gif" border="0[/img]
Wed, 2007-01-10 10:54
#22
Hmmm. I find "Ma'am" perfectly appropriate: I certainly prefer it to "Miss", which sounds like I am fourteen years old. Imagine a 21-year old man being addressed as "Son". I am told that, in Germany, "Fr
Wed, 2007-01-10 11:20
#23
quote:
Originally posted by M. Spector:
[b]When a stranger addresses you directly, how do you prefer to be addressed? [/b]
Hey you!
quote:
Imagine a 21-year old man being addressed as "Son".
I only do this when I'm deliberately trying to piss people off, and I do it to people older than me as well. :evil:
[ 10 January 2007: Message edited by: RP. ]
Wed, 2007-01-10 13:51
#24
Ladies and Women,
I don't see a problem with words like ladies, women, ma'am, madam, Miss, Mrs., or Ms. It all depends on how one uses them.
"Ladies and Gentlemen" is acceptable. If in a formal environment, "ladies" is fine. "Women" could be used in a less formal happening or event. I could use "girls" for adult women at a summer cottage barbecue where the environment is very informal. I would use parallel words by saying "Ladies and Gentlemen" or "women and men/men and women", "boys and girls", or "guys and gals." I would not say "men and girls" for example.
In a language like Japanese, there are different forms of words for men and women depending on the status of the person who is speaking and the status of receiver. "Yo, mamma!" will not work when speaking to an elderly woman in Japan or Canada.
There are differences between the French language of France and Canadian French when using the plural for "Canadians." In Canada, one can say, "les canadiens et les canadiennes." In France, it's still "les canadiens."
If one is concerned about whether one should use "lady" or "women," ask a ladybug and hear what she says.
Wed, 2007-01-10 14:21
#25
I have no objection to being called "Ma'am" in appropriate situations -- such as, "May I help you find anything, Ma'am?" in a store.
I am less happy being called "dear" which is very common in the Maritimes unless I can absolutely 100 per cent recognize a Cape Breton or Miramichi accent where calling people -- all people -- "dear" is ubiquitous.
I remain coolly polite when I'm called "Mrs. Husband's Name" -- although I tend to look around for his mother.
I can't even imagine using the word "lady" -- or "ladies" -- unless in some extreme situation and then I think I would gesture quotation marks around it. (Maybe if one were in a restaurant and saw two elderly females wearing flowery hats and white gloves, drinking cups of tea with curled pinky fingers, one might refer to them -- sweetly, of course -- as ladies. [img]wink.gif" border="0[/img] )
Wed, 2007-01-10 14:33
#26
quote:
Originally posted by Sharon:
[b]II am less happy being called "dear" which is very common in the Maritimes unless I can absolutely 100 per cent recognize a Cape Breton or Miramichi accent where calling people -- all people -- "dear" is ubiquitous.
I)[/b]
Having lived in the Maritimes (Fredericton) for the better part of five years (2001-2005) I found that it was very common to be called 'dear'' in all parts of AC (I'm male). With respect, I would suggest that in the mast majority of cases that someone calling you 'dear' in the Maritimes it is absolutely innocent--whether you are in Plaster Rock, Saint John, Halifax, Truro or anywhere in between.
That said...don't get me started on 'bud.'
That makes me crazy.
Wed, 2007-01-10 15:58
#27
Sven
quote:
Originally posted by M. Spector:
[b]It's the same for men. Every man will tell you that he felt really weird the first time some kid called him "mister".[/b]
Or "Sir". For a long while, I thought it was weird being called "Sir". Now (that I'm 45), I don't even notice it as being exceptional.
Wed, 2007-01-10 16:11
#28
quote:
With respect, I would suggest that in the vast majority of cases that someone calling you 'dear' in the Maritimes it is absolutely innocent
Yes, dgrollins, you're perfectly correct. I come from the Miramichi and I have a lot of family in Cape Breton so I singled them out as Maritimers who use "dear" inoffensively.
But in general -- and like you, I've lived all over the region -- it's meant well.
However, a few weeks ago, having lunch in a restaurant with my friend Ralph Surette, (we often publish his work in rabble.ca), the young (early 20s?) server, kept looking us closely and carefully in the face and saying, quite loudly, things like, "Are you enjoying your lunch, dear?"
I eventually said to Ralph, "We're being treated as fogeys."
So you see, there are times...
I was wishing she had been listening to our conversation because Ralph and I are political, literary, knowledgeable about many subjects -- and she might have learned something.
(Did I really write "unoffensively"? Oops. I've changed it.)
[ 10 January 2007: Message edited by: Sharon ]
Wed, 2007-01-10 21:09
#29
Malcolm
quote:
Originally posted by M. Spector:
[b]It's the same for men. Every man will tell you that he felt really weird the first time some kid called him "mister".
[/b]
Most men, the first time they're called Mr., will turn around and look for their fathers.
The first time I was called Mr. French, I turned around and looked for Sebastian Cabot.
If you understand that, you're older than you think.
Fri, 2007-01-12 02:58
#30
quote:
The first time I was called Mr. French, I turned around and looked for Sebastian Cabot.
Interesting. When I hear the name "Mr. French," Cabot automatically comes to mind.
As for calling women "ladies," I don't know anyone currently or in the recent past who's taken exception to the term. But I assume it depends on what context it's used.
When I was younger, "lady" usually applied to someone who was elderly, or someone who was wealthy, as in upper class, or high brow or cultured.
"Lady" at one time was a term used to identify with the ruling class--the wife of the Lord was called the Lady.
As I got older, I began to notice the term being used on occasion to describe someone who was attractive and well-dressed, in usually a self-complimentary way.
Now it just seem to be a term that is used by most people I know as a generally complimentary expression in informal conversation without referring to anything specific.
Fri, 2007-01-12 03:12
#31
"Lady" is a common third person term too, especially when talking to children. "Sweetheart, can you get the door for the lady there?" or, "That's right, give it to the lady."
I suppose I should probably use "woman" in those cases, and actually, I often do because as soon as "lady" pops out, it sounds weird to me. And it always sounds weird when someone says that to their child talking about me. But it's common enough and doesn't offend me. It's not being used as a statement of my feminine disposition.
Fri, 2007-01-12 04:30
#32
I spent three years in the Reserves. When I hear "sir" or "ma'am" I start lokking for an officer. For many years when someone called me "sir", I had to choke back the normal military ranks resoponse. "I'm sorry but I actually work for a living." [img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img]
Parenthetically, our new rector, who is originally from Nfld. calls me "hon."
Fri, 2007-01-12 05:20
#33
Maysie
quote:
Originally posted by Michelle:
[b]It's not being used as a statement of my feminine disposition.[/b]
Ba ha haaa! Good one, Michelle. I don't think I even [i]have[/i] a feminine disposition...
I, too, dislike the term "lady" but everyone's already mentioned that there is no other accepted term to refer to an adult woman whose name you don't know, but you have to refer to her for some reason. I guess it's at least a few notches up from [i]"Excuse me?"[/i]
Since we live in a [i]society[/i] and all, I deal when I'm called "lady". Ma'am is a WHOLE other story, but that could be my own denial at the loss of my youth....
And since I'm from boring Montreal and boring Toronto, there's no regional "hon", "dearie" or "crunchy bunch" that's applied to both genders that I grew up with. [img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img]
Fri, 2007-01-12 06:59
#34
Wow CarolMariane! What a first post you have here! It's so interesting how our language and language use struggles to keep up with our realities -- or struggles to keep us in old realities. I certainly think "ladies" is used ironically among young women, myself included. I bit of a reclaiming and redefining -- calling each other that is a nod and a wink to how very unladylike we are or to how much has changed since the demand to act "like a lady" was a serious societal stricture. No doubt it still is in many ways but at least they have less to do with how you hold your teacup and with fork you use. The pressure on young women nowadays seems like it has swung to the exact opposite end of the spectrum. But as with any word, it all seems to depend on who is weilding it and why.
Fri, 2007-01-12 07:02
#35
Just another quick note on the power of language to transform -- imagine if the "ladies room" were known as the "women's room". Doesn't that just take it from imagines of nose-powdering to imagines of consciousness raising and political organizing? Could be just in my mind. I'm going to start using "women's room" and test it out.
Fri, 2007-01-12 07:20
#36
quote:
Originally posted by bigcitygal:
[b]Since we live in a [i]society[/i] and all, I deal when I'm called "lady". Ma'am is a WHOLE other story, but that could be my own denial at the loss of my youth.... [/b]
Heh. Funny, I feel the opposite way. Every once in a while, some teenage service clerk will call me "Miss", and I think, wow, I've NEVER been a "Miss" even when I was a "Miss". [img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img] But it would sound weird to say "Mizz". "Miss" sounds a lot weirder than "Ma'am" to me, but I can't really think of any other way to refer to a woman whose name you don't know if you want to address her directly without sounding awkward. My fallback is usually by not using any salutation at all.
Fri, 2007-01-12 08:55
#37
Perhaps this points to a need to fundamentally transform the foundation upon which we organize social relations. What kind of world would it be wherein we could address each other as "brother", "sister", "respectful Elder" or suchlike? Other cultures must have ways of address that reinforce equality and respect for difference.
Fri, 2007-01-12 11:25
#38
quote:
Originally posted by jas:
[b]Perhaps this points to a need to fundamentally transform the foundation upon which we organize social relations. What kind of world would it be wherein we could address each other as "brother", "sister", "respectful Elder" or suchlike? Other cultures must have ways of address that reinforce equality and respect for difference.[/b]
But many cultures also have far more strict ways of address that reinforce social constraints placed on the population. "Lady" is kind of a term that is used with children. Ma'am, as dislikeable as it is, is the generic term of respect for the older. Mind you, I've been called "master" before which is pretty disconcerting. I far prefer the more generic, but still unsettling "mister" or "sir".
Fri, 2007-01-12 15:12
#39
quote:
Just another quick note on the power of language to transform -- imagine if the "ladies room" were known as the "women's room".
I'm pretty sure you know that one of the definitive books -- perhaps the definitive novel -- of second wave feminism was Marilyn French's "The Women's Room."
It had a huge effect on me and, as far as I know, on many women of my generation.
It might be interesting to read again although I often don't wish to go back to those times.
quote:
The harsh vision of marriage in Marilyn French's The Women's Room looks cartoon-like today. But the first bestselling novel to emerge from 1970s feminism still strikes a chord.
From [url=http://books.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,,1040579,00.html] The Guardian [/url]
Sat, 2007-01-13 04:33
#40
I have a tendency to say "Where is the restroom" in a gender neutral way. When I say tell company where I am going I say 'Be right back, I'm going to the restroom".
BCG you are so right! Ma'am always makes me feel old, and most likely my aversion to it is due to never feeling I am over 20.
I don't like referring to men as 'sir', because I think of sir the same way I think of ma'am, and I don't want to offend anyone so most of the time I will just use a gender neutral term. Even when someone has dropped something I'll usually yell, 'excuse me, you in the yellow coat, you dropped your glove".
Probably my own hang-ups. Has to be. I like 'Miss' because I have not been married. Ma'am seems old-fashioned and to designate a married status, although as much as I don't like it, I don't say much about because truth be told there are far more pressing things to get upset about.
Sat, 2007-01-13 11:53
#41
I have never, that I can recall, found a need to refer to a woman by any other term than "woman" or "young woman." Except that I ask my grandaughter, age 4, to "give the looney to the lady" for her chocolate milk or whatever, because my granddaughter loves to play store, and she usually says she wants to "be the lady." At what age should I quit being cutesy and say "give the looney to the woman" (or "young woman")?
quote:
Originally posted by jas:
[b]What kind of world would it be wherein we could address each other as "brother", "sister" . . .[/b]
I not only use it with labour friends, but occasionally throw it into a general conversation as though someone in the room was a lodge brother: "C'mon, brother Ted, it's time we were off." Good change of pace.
quote:
Originally posted by M. Spector:
[b]When a stranger addresses you directly, how do you prefer to be addressed?
[LIST][*]Excuse me, ma'am, I think this pen belongs to you.[*]Excuse me, lady, I think this pen belongs to you.[*]Excuse me, woman, I think this pen belongs to you.[*]Excuse me, ___?___...[/LIST][/b]
First try: "Excuse me, is this your pen?" If she doesn't hear that I'm talking to her, second try: "Excuse me, miss" (or if she's older than me, "ma'am"), "is this your pen?"
quote:
Originally posted by Southlander:
[b]The statement "I am not a girl I am a woman" is very empowering, however when I say it I feel it has sexual overtones. Does anyone else find 'I am a woman' a bit sexual?[/b]
If you felt the sexual overtones as you said it, no doubt I would hear them too. [img]wink.gif" border="0[/img]
[ 13 January 2007: Message edited by: Wilf Day ]
Sat, 2007-01-13 12:27
#42
quote:
Originally posted by Wilf Day:
[b] At what age should I quit being cutesy and say "give the looney to the woman" (or "young woman")?[/b]
I would say probably never on the "young woman" part. What does the woman's age have to do with anything?
Sat, 2007-01-13 13:17
#43
quote:
Originally posted by jas:
[b]Perhaps this points to a need to fundamentally transform the foundation upon which we organize social relations. What kind of world would it be wherein we could address each other as "brother", "sister", "respectful Elder" or suchlike?[/b]
Whatever it says about me, I cringe at that world.
Sat, 2007-01-13 14:11
#44
quote:
Originally posted by Michelle:
[b]What does the woman's age have to do with anything?[/b]
Pretty uppity for a young woman, aren't you?
[img]wink.gif" border="0[/img] [img]wink.gif" border="0[/img]
I was thinking of a 16-year-old store clerk. I believe "young woman" is preferable to "girl." At what age would she be entitled to reply "I'm not a girl, I'm a woman?"
Sat, 2007-01-13 17:00
#45
[img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img] Yes, uppity indeed!
Okay, I see what you mean about, say, a 16 year-old girl. I guess I can see how "young woman" would work then, although there are lots of women in their early 20's who look like they're teenagers, so I don't know. I probably wouldn't risk offending a 20 year-old with a qualifier like that. But that's just me.
Sun, 2007-01-14 13:48
#46
I took the test, M.Spector. I scored 84 per cent.
But... am I a "lady" or am I just thoughtful, polite, considerate etc.?
As far as I recall, the only answer I didn't check was "you don't gossip." Well, of course, I gossip. [img]wink.gif" border="0[/img]
And maybe the one about the small purse. No, I use a big purse, almost always. Always lugging around essential stuff.
Sun, 2007-01-14 13:51
#47
remind
quote:
Originally posted by M. Spector:
[b]Take the quiz: [url=http://www.blogthings.com/areyoualadyquiz/]Are You a Lady?[/url][I scored 60%] [/b]
You forgot to put your blurb about what 60% means in regards to your ladyness.
I was:
You Are 72% Lady
Overall, you are a refined lady with excellent manners.
But you also know when to relax and not get too serious about etiquette
[img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img]
Sun, 2007-01-14 14:29
#48
Oh boy. Maybe I was too honest with my answers? Or too fastidious about remembering the one or two times I didn't do such-and-such?
Anyhow...
[b]You Are 28% Lady[/b]
[img]http://images.blogthings.com/areyoualadyquiz/lady-2.jpg[/img]
![http://images.blogthings.com/areyoualadyquiz/lady-2.jpg[/img]](http://images.blogthings.com/areyoualadyquiz/lady-2.jpg[/img]){kind=link}
You tend to make up your rules of etiquette, throwing all conventions aside.
And while you try to be a lady (sometimes), your behavior is often quite shocking.
[b]Are You A Lady?[/b]
[url=http://www.blogthings.com/areyoualadyquiz/]http://www.blogthings.com/are...
Sun, 2007-01-14 14:32
#49
Oh, Michelle! I am shocked!
Sun, 2007-01-14 14:34
#50
remind
quote:
Originally posted by M. Spector:
[b]I was hoping you wouldn't notice."You're part lady, part modern [b]woman*[/b].
Etiquette is important to you, but you brush aside rules that are outdated or silly."[b]*[/b] Ha! I scored the magic word![/b]
Awww, you're just a *woman to me! [img]wink.gif" border="0[/img]
Sun, 2007-01-14 15:00
#51
I'm shocked that anyone could get in the 80's! Seriously, I only checked off seven things.
I checked off the one about politely accepting if a man offers to pay for a date, because I have in the past, although I certainly don't expect it, and I don't have a problem with either going Dutch or paying for the whole date myself. I've done all three in the past. I'm a generous tipper, so I checked that one off too. I don't use call waiting because I can't be bothered to pay for it, not out of attention to etiquette, but I checked it off since I don't use it. I always RSVP to invitations that ask for it, and no, I don't bring extra guests, so I checked that one off. I usually try to err on the side of leaving early so that I'm not The Guest Who Will Never Leave, so I checked that off. And I never turn down an invitation hoping something better will come along. I do turn down invitations, but not for that reason - usually it's because I don't feel up to it, or I don't want to do whatever it is I'm being invited to do. So I checked that one. And I never ask if I look fat. I already know the answer! [img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img]
But the rest...
I reveal my age to anyone who asks. Weight not so much, but I've revealed it on the very odd occasion. I've asked men how much money they make (and I've been asked by men how much money I make). Not as a dating practice, mind you, but they didn't specify that in the question. I've overdressed AND underdressed before when in doubt about an event. And who the heck doesn't complain about the weather? We're freakin' Canadians!
Prolonged displays of public affection? Geez, who wasn't a teenager? [img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img] I didn't check that one off because I'm sure I've either necked in a movie theatre or walked arm-in-arm with a boyfriend or kissed in a park or whatever.
I never talked on my cell (when I had one) in movies but I have definitely done so in restaurants, especially if I was eating alone and I got a call. I have just as much right to talk to my friend on the phone as the person at the next table has to talk to their companion across the table! My talking is no more disturbing than theirs!
Everyone gossips. Come on. 95% of people gossip and the other 5% are either hermits or lying. I generally drink in moderation but every once in a while I tie one on and get silly. And some of my best dinner table conversations have been about politics or religion (depending on the dinner table, of course). Ever been to a church supper!?
I don't generally send a thank you note or card for a gift if I thank the person for it in person, unless it's for a formal occasion like a wedding. If it's a birthday card with money sent in the mail, I'll write a thank-you e-mail or phone the person to thank them.
Is there ANYONE who doesn't, at some point, discuss past relationships with their current partner? I mean, I don't bring up exes every other conversation, but to never ever bring them up? Anyone who needs to either think I'm virginal or am a memory loss victim needs to find themselves a virgin.
Who has never, ever told a sexist or racist joke? As for interrupting...well, I try not to, but I don't always succeed (and most people I know interrupt at least occasionally as well). Flirting with men I'm not interested in? Sure I do, why not? I mean, not serious flirting as in, hey baby, take me home tonight, whoops, psych, ha ha! But friendliness, teasing, double-entendres, etc.? All in fun. [img]smile.gif" border="0[/img]
As for diet - heh. When you're trying to be vegan it's pretty hard to avoid discussing at the dinner table when everyone's eating meat and you're not, so I didn't check it off. I don't try to convert anyone though.
When in doubt I dress modestly, saving sexier stuff for another time? Well, I don't have a lot of "sexy" clothes, but what clothes I do have that could pass for sexy, I have no problem wearing.
I don't really see what's so "shocking" about my behaviour! [img]smile.gif" border="0[/img]
[ 14 January 2007: Message edited by: Michelle ]