Online safety for kids and teens
Tue, 2007-05-01 08:42
#1
Online safety for kids and teens
Tue, 2007-05-01 08:42
#2
[url=http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20070430.wlsextalk01/... interesting article.[/url] Particularly for me, since I have an 8 year-old who is just starting to use his own e-mail (currently just to correspond with his family).
quote:
At a recent Toronto seminar about teenagers and the Internet, it was the slide reading “Oblivious Parents” that received the most knowing nods from an audience of Canadian teachers, police officers and government representatives.As individual school boards and government institutions across the country ratchet up their efforts to warn kids about posting fights on YouTube and flirting with strangers on webcams, experts say parents are failing to support the message at home.
Like moms and dads who refuse to acknowledge that their kids are sexually active or are experimenting with drugs, many adults have not explored the world their kids inhabit online. And the growing information gap makes it difficult for them to protect or discipline their kids.
“Parents either don't know, don't care or don't want to know,” says Arni Stinnissen of the Ontario Provincial Police. “The piece that's missing in all this is the parents. They haven't had that talk.”
Instead, parents are relying on schools to teach children about the birds and bees of online responsibility, ignoring studies that show risky behaviour is greatly reduced in households that have rules for Internet use.
What do you think?
I'm torn. Programs that monitor every keystroke of a teenager's time online strike me as such an invasion of privacy, along the lines of reading a diary. On the other hand, I don't want my kid to become an online bully, or to be enticed by 35 year-olds pretending to be 12.
Tue, 2007-05-01 08:45
#3
P.S. This made me smirk:
quote:
Those efforts just got a boost, with Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty announcing that he would give $1-million to a software training program called Cyber-Cops Air Dogs, which uses interactive games to educate Grade 7 and 8 students about the Web.
Yeah, that's kind of closing the barn door after the horses have gotten out. My kid is in grade 2 and already using the internet to play online games. They include chat features, which his father and I have forbidden him to use.
Tue, 2007-05-01 09:23
#4
quote:
I'm torn. Programs that monitor every keystroke of a teenager's time online strike me as such an invasion of privacy, along the lines of reading a diary.
Yeah, I don't much care for that either, but then I'm not in a position of feeling I need to. The understanding in our family, is that there is no expectation of privacy on the internet, and anything said on the internet should be seen as having a conversation around me and Mrs. oldgoat. I think that helps our kids keep in mind the reality of the place, 'cause it's not a diary. My son for instance kept a password protected journal just on a word programme, and I wouldn't dream of going into it.
When we first got the internet about 8 years ago, we were all over our kids internet activities, and the computer was and remains in a very public place. Now that they're a bit older, I trust their judgement, and they're actually prety good about keeping us up to date on what's going on in their internet social lives.
My daughter asked if she could meet up this summer with some people she's met on line who will be passing through the GTA, and we said it was ok, but I'll be there. One of the reasons I agreed is because she talks with us so openly about her internet life, I feel like I know some of these people myself.
If I was ever really concerned about safety, the issue of my kids right to privacy would be out the window pretty fast.
Wed, 2007-05-02 05:09
#5
quote:
One of the reasons I agreed is because she talks with us so openly about her internet life, I feel like I know some of these people myself.
That's an excellent way of looking at this issue. I think openess in a family is the absolute key. My only worry is that most families don't have this kind of openess, so I'm sure this arrangement couldn't work for just anyone, which of course is not what you're saying.
The internet is an excellent resource. It's an excellent place to have questions answered that youth might not be prepared to ask their family and to meet like-minded people. This is especially important when living in a smaller town, where you feel that there are few people who share your values or interests.
So I would say that one huge factor is education. Youth need to be educated on how to be web savvy. They must know how to avoid websites when searching for answers that might be problomatic, or hateful, biased or full of errors. They need to know the things to think about when thinking of meeting someone online. There are a growing number of websites out there with resources on how to help your kids/students to become more web-aware, because the internet can be a dangerous place, but it can also be an excellent resource with excellent potential.
I've done some research for university articles on this issue, as well as on the internet as a resource for youth who feel marginalized by their sexual education systems in high school, and there really is a lot of information out there. Sure, it's dangerous to type in "sex questions" or other terms that might spur hundreds of pornographic sites, but with the right internet filters there are games, flash videos, fact cards etc. etc. out there dealing with STDs, sexuality as a whole, gender issues, peer pressures and [url=http://www.media-awareness.ca/english/index.cfm]a whole mix of other things. [/url]
I like to hope that parents have the openess to go through some of these resources with their children, instead of having them stumble upon the wrong information by themselves.
Wed, 2007-05-02 08:26
#6
quote:
Originally posted by oldgoat:
[b]The understanding in our family, is that there is no expectation of privacy on the internet, and anything said on the internet should be seen as having a conversation around me and Mrs. oldgoat. I think that helps our kids keep in mind the reality of the place, 'cause it's not a diary.[/b]
This brought to mind a comment made on the Facebook thread, where someone said (paraphrased) that what makes the internet dangerous is the mistaken belief that it's a safe, private place removed from real-world reality. Other aspects of online literacy are important too, but I think this is the most important feature to impress upon children. Heck, I often need someone to remind me of that fact. It's easy in a virtual context to overlook the public nature and real-life consequences of one's actions, or even identification. Internet literacy needs to include that, for sure.
Wed, 2007-05-02 12:16
#7
Definitely, I think that one thing to keep in mind when it comes to the internet, is that people often take on a different persona than they might anywhere else. The internet can be somewhere where the shy girl can be boisterous, the virgin can be sexually-experienced, and the serious one can be a comedian. It’s a place to take your guards down. I think many people turn to the internet just for this reason, whether its in a chat room, a Facebook profile or a message board. I’ve found in my past experiences that I can say things to people over MSN or an email, that I never could say face to face. It’s a benefit for sure, but it can also have very heavy consequences.
Tue, 2007-05-08 03:23
#8
[url=http://www.safecanada.ca/link_e.asp?category=3&topic=94]This is an interesting checklist[/url] that I found when I was looking for an internet safety course for kids to post here. (I couldn't find the course.)
Anyhow, there is a program that is offered in the GTA (I think there are several in Toronto and at least one in Mississauga) for kids to learn online safety. I thought that was kind of neat.
I'd personally like to see that taught in schools too, as a media awareness course, right from, say, grade 3 forward. I think there are too many parents who just aren't very web-savvy. Which is fine - not everyone excels in the same area, and we can't expect parents to be all things. But kids need to learn this stuff somewhere. It's a basic life skill now, so it should be taught in schools.
Tue, 2007-05-08 05:43
#9
Do you mean the very first item on the list -- 11 Tips To Keep Your Kids Safe? I took a look at that one and was dismayed to find that right off I broke their first rule, which was about keeping the computer area free of clutter and food. You mean it's not a good idea to place my coffee cup next to the teetering pile of papers and library books on the table's edge? [img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img] What does that have to do with Internet safety anyway? [img]wink.gif" border="0[/img]
Seriously though, it's good to see that there's such an extensive listing of resources available to parents and kids about online safety. I know that media literacy is taught in Ontario high schools, but agree with you Michelle, that online literacy should be taught as a basic life skill much earlier.
Tue, 2007-05-08 06:13
#10
No kidding. My kid has an e-mail address now, in GRADE TWO. He plays Pokemon online. He needs to learn about internet savvy NOW, not in 8 years in some grade 10 computing course.
Both my ex and I have checked out the site and he's not allowed to answer any "instant messages" from other players. I went to make a profile on there so I could play the game with him while he's at his dad's place, but then I thought, wait a minute, I have to tell my age (whether over 18 or under) and unless I lie and say I'm under 18, I probably won't be able to play with him anyhow if they separate the adults from the children on the site. Or, if they don't separate the adults from the children on the site, then they must have a way of keeping the kids' identities private.
Then I thought about it, and realized, if I could easily claim I'm under 18 in order to play the game with my son, others could claim they're under 18 as well and be chatting with kids.
So, I didn't sign up for the site, because I didn't want to lie about my age, even for an innocuous reason.
Tue, 2007-05-08 06:55
#11
I let my older daughter have an e-mail address when she was in grade three. I was more in favour of it, while my husband was against, for all the reasons cited. I thought, well, this is another way for her to expand her experiences, and we'll keep an eye on things. We had the computer in the centre of the house, where everybody tends to be when we're home.
Rules we instituted: never to give out personal information, even if it seems trivial, and if anything seemed weird in a bad way, or scary, just leave. And never do a Google search without mom or dad.
She took the initiative of blocking the addresses of people she didn't like, mainly for bullying issues. Now she is in grade 6, and we have discussed internet safety at a more sophisticated level, and she's teaching these things to her younger sister. We've loosened up the restrictions on Google searches, just insisting that they tell us what they want to look up, and we'll discuss what would be the best search terms to use.
What boggles my mind are those parents who (a) let their kids have a computer in their bedrooms, and (b) parents who let their kids have a WEBCAM on the computer in their bedrooms. What on earth were they thinking?!
Parental supervision is the way to go. My husband and I debate about how intrusive we need to be. He was brought up in a much more restrictive household and tends to believe in more discipline and limits on kids' freedoms. But at the end of the day, we both agree that you can't just let kids have unlimited unsupervised internet access in order to get them out of your hair.
Tue, 2007-05-08 11:21
#12
You’re right Michelle, education is absolutely crucial in order to keep kid’s web savvy, especially because many parents don’t have the experience or the needed knowledge regarding the internet. And I think it goes beyond teaching them right and wrong. Youth need to understand that there is a difference between editorial content and the amount of advertising that they will be bombarded with as soon as they logon to the internet. [url=http://www.neopets.com]Neopets[/url] anyone?
If you’re not familiar with the site, it appears to be seemingly harmless, full of flash games and interactivity that a lot of kids go crazy for. But it doesn’t take long to realize the amount of hidden advertisements on the site. Play this game, and your “neopet” will be rewarded with a lovely, delicious box of fruit loops. MMMMMM! Or is your pet thirsty? Why not take him to 7-11 for a slurpy! It’s a fun site, I dabbled in it for awhile when I was taking a course called “Truth and Propaganda,” but for a kid who hasn’t been educated in online advertising or dissecting media images, it might be confusing.
[url=http://www.commercialalert.org/news/Archive/2000/12/neopetscom-launches-... Advertising on Neopets[/url] and MANY other sites is something else that needs to be taught young to youth, to ensure they understand that they're a huge target for companies seeking brand loyalty.
Wed, 2007-05-16 07:32
#13
quote:
Originally posted by Sineed:
[b]
What boggles my mind are those parents who (a) let their kids have a computer in their bedrooms, and (b) parents who let their kids have a WEBCAM on the computer in their bedrooms. What on earth were they thinking?!
[/b]
I totally agree to me that is like handing your daughter to some random guy on the street and asking him to walk her to the park.
All those 'How To...' books on raising your child should all include something how to deal with internet....if they don't already.
Sat, 2007-06-02 13:08
#14
This whole thread is a funny read. The babble youth issues forum is populated by adults. This belongs in a parenting forum or something. It reads more like "children's rights" stuff I'm sorry to say, and what they call children's rights and youth rights are pretty much opposites.
Sat, 2007-06-02 14:02
#15
Yeah, I see what you mean. I often hesitate to start threads that are about very young children (e.g. ones where it's going to be parents talking about it rather than kids). A lot of the threads, however, ARE about issues that face youth, and while it is mostly adults on babble, there are some issues (e.g. college tuition, high school rules, lowering the voting age, etc.) that can be discussed from an "age liberation" point of view.
If we had more teenagers on babble (you can't become a member if you're under 13), this forum would likely be different, I guess.
And I DID think that this topic had a certain amount of "kids' liberation" content, had it been taken up. As I said in the opening post, I don't think much of overbearing parents who put spyware on their computers which monitor their child's every keystroke and conversation. That strikes me as a major invasion of privacy. There has to be a better way to balance the need for safety, and not invading a child or teenager's privacy.
[ 02 June 2007: Message edited by: Michelle ]
Sat, 2007-06-02 14:32
#16
I agree. This topic needs a youth voice and I'm too old, but just for starters, there are a lot of youth with computers in their bedrooms, and a lot of them have webcams. And a lot of them have very good reasons not to want their parents to know who they're talking to. I understand that there does need to be concern about safety online, but it is always taken too far and nobody has even the slightest trust in youth. Online safety is not an issue for youth, although what adults do in the name of online safety is.
As for the lack of youth members I wish I knew what to do about that. I know that reading this thread as a 16 year old would have been pretty alienating.
Thu, 2007-06-14 18:00
#17
quote:
Originally posted by Boze:
[b]I agree. This topic needs a youth voice and I'm too old, but just for starters, there are a lot of youth with computers in their bedrooms, and a lot of them have webcams. And a lot of them have very good reasons not to want their parents to know who they're talking to. I understand that there does need to be concern about safety online, but it is always taken too far and nobody has even the slightest trust in youth. Online safety is not an issue for youth, although what adults do in the name of online safety is.As for the lack of youth members I wish I knew what to do about that. I know that reading this thread as a 16 year old would have been pretty alienating.[/b]
Very good comment. Your comment about what adult do in the name of safety was great.
I read with a amusement about the concern over search engines and the "bad" results kids could get. Of all the concerns of young people going on the internet, search results rank just below getting RSI from typing on my risk ranking.
For me this is a great example of adults not quite getting the internet. The best way to protect your kids is to talk to them and pay attention to them. Locking down the internet just means they'll do it somewhere else or get into trouble another way.
Thu, 2007-08-09 06:10
#18
[url=http://www.thismagazine.ca/issues/2007/07/web_firstfacebook.php]Baby's First Facebook[/url]
Thu, 2007-08-09 12:06
#19
Ok, I say this as someone who has no children to speak of in his life. My friend’s younger siblings are all about to finish high school and nobody close to me in my life has any kids.
I don’t see anything wrong with monitoring – actually I think it would be irresponsible of parents not monitor what’s going on their home computer networks and their kid’s computers. With the internet there should be little expectation of privacy and with young children they should be raised to know that, but also to expect that you are looking over their shoulder the way you would with them around a swimming pool.
I don’t think a diary is a fair analogy. As oldgoat says, keeping a password protected word document and going into chat rooms are slightly different creatures.
This doesn’t mean block them, or show a lack of trust. Simply be aware of what’s going on, and if something is fishy or raises a flag, it makes you aware that you’ll need to be addressing issues “in the real world”. As the article says, you don’t want to cut them off or anything.
Plus by observing it gives you more information allows to you have less intrusive parenting methods. Now obviously parents will need to wean themselves off of that level of info as their kids grow up and they will need to learn to trust them more. Quite frankly eventually they are going to shut you out if not from the internet at home, from their lives elsewhere and if not from there…when they move out it’s all gonna be gone!
Fri, 2007-08-17 06:33
#20
quote:
Originally posted by jrose:
[b][url=http://www.thismagazine.ca/issues/2007/07/web_firstfacebook.php]Baby's First Facebook[/url][/b]
I like how this article takes the discussion beyond the more immediate (and understandable) concerns of physical and psychological safety. The author confirms that social networking sites targeting pre-teens and tweens place a huge emphasis on monitoring online activity to ensure that there's no stalking, harassment, or anything generally offensive going on.
quote:
Trolling the parental portals for a number of these sites, I found the twin pillars of concern—safety and education—consistently promoted. While adults are allowed to participate (they are even encouraged to as a way of communicating with their kids and for grandparents or distant relatives to keep in touch), armies of monitors keep track of the goings-on
Again, that's completely understandable. If I had young kids venturing online for the first time, I would want these kinds of safeguards in place too, in addition to my own monitoring, of course.
What's creepy and distasteful in its own right is the unabashed encouragement and indoctrination of a consumerist ideology for kids.
quote:
But even on the seemingly noble, “educational” sites, the kids are being taught certain … how do you say? ideological lessons about the value of education and its rewards. In playing the site’s learning games, the citizens of Whyville earn “clams” and generate a functioning economy through their efforts.(snip)
I already have a hard enough time convincing my toddler that “shopping” is not a game, so I can only hope that by the time she’s old enough to surf the net, there’s something more than mall culture waiting for her. No wonder I can’t sleep at night.
Yuck. I had no idea that these sites were set up this way -- let alone wrapping my head around the very concept of social networking for kids.
Fri, 2007-08-17 08:16
#21
One thing that might be useful is for someone to write up a tutorial on how to lock down access rights on a computer that a child uses. That way, in addition to being able to keep track of what a child's doing, the child's web-browsing habits will be less likely to let a random website put spyware onto the computer, or for a random stranger to get a child to go to a website which installs a keylogger.
I realize this is tangential but I can easily see con artists manipulating children this way in order to get access to parents' credit card numbers and the like. This post is not intended to make people paranoid about their kids' Internet use, and I applaud those who monitor Google searches and are careful to ensure their children don't access untrustworthy websites, but it is intended to make people aware of existing computer security issues related to the prevalence of Windows.
(although *nix type computers have their own issues as well, but I'm not touching on those)
Supplemental - the tutorial on locking down access rights would also be useful for visitors who use the family computer, as they could log in with a "Guest" account and be restricted from accidentally screwing something up which would be time-consuming to fix.
No visitor or young child should be allowed, in any case, to install a program, unaudited by the parental units, in my view.
Tue, 2007-08-28 11:07
#22
PS, I was dropping a hint for one of the WinXP gurus that knows their way around the policy editor to tell us how to lock down the guest account. [img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img]
Tue, 2007-08-28 15:59
#23
I'm not sure how we'll handle arborkid's internet use when he gets to be old enough for it. Especially since it's likely that anyone from his generation who has an interest could probably hide whatever they want from us if they choose to.
I expect the computer will be in the living room. I wouldn't want to have a keylogger or some other sort of spy program, but I might consider some kind of 'red flag' monitoring program that doesn't tell me anything until and unless something potentially risky happens.
So we could sit down with the kid and tell him what we are flagging and why. He could do what he likes in relative privacy, and if anything dodgy happened we'd be told about it.
Of course the fatal flaw in any program like that is that somebody, somewhere, would immediately develop a way to spoof or trick it, and kids would share it like wildfire.
So I don't know what the answer will be. Hopefully we don't screw it up. So far he gets about 15 minutes/month of Franklin the Turtle on the computer, but no more.