divorce question

Your estranged husband probably doesn't want to pay half
Your lawyer serves him with the papers, he can either hire a lawyer and fight it or do nothing or cooperate and get it over with. The cost will be negligible if he doesn't fight it.

I suggest talking to a lawyer for half an hour. He will advise you as to costs etc in that first meeting, where the necessary information can be given and will cost about $75 to $100.

Yellow pages and someone close to where you live for whom you have references.

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Originally posted by toric:
[b]I want a divorce but my husband does not want to sign the papers.[/b]

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I continue to be amazed how many people think this. Where does this idea come from? Certainly in Ontario his signature is not required, and I bet it isn't in BC either.

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Originally posted by eau:
[b]he can either hire a lawyer and fight it or do nothing or cooperate and get it over with.[/b]

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There are seldom any grounds to fight the divorce itself, unless he is on your benefits at work and would lose them by a divorce -- which doesn't sound like your situation.

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Originally posted by Michelle:
[b]If you have kids, then I suggest you retain a lawyer, not just consult one. [img]smile.gif" border="0[/img] [/b]

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Or if he has a pension plan or other assets (his pension plan is as much an asset as an RRSP, just harder to value) which you have not yet gotten your half of. And his pension plan might be worth $50,000 or $250,000.

In Ontario your claim for equalization is to be made within two years after the day the marriage is terminated by divorce, but also is to be made within six years after the day the spouses separate and there is no reasonable prospect that they will resume cohabitation. Nine years might be excused if you can explain your delay, but many women who do a homemade divorce lose their right to equalization out of ignorance.

Toric - If I were you I would consult a lawyer - even a free 1/2 hour consultation may set your mind at rest and lay out what you need to do and what you need to watch out for. I found writing down all my questions in advance helped me organize my thoughts and got the most value from my lawyer. It is important to look after yourself and not give your rights away - and especially important if there are kids involved.

In BC after a year either spouse can apply for a divorce. The other spouse cannot stop the divorce from being granted. But I think he can hire a lawyer to dispute the terms, in which case I would suggest you need a lawyer to look after your interests.

This BC website may be helpful: [url=http://www.ag.gov.bc.ca/family-justice/index.htm]http://www.ag.gov.bc.ca...

Once you get the facts, it may not be as bad as you fear. Good luck.

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Originally posted by Martha (but not Stewart):
[b]Or if [i]you[/i] have a pension plan or other assets, which [i]he[/i] might not have gotten [i]his[/i] share of.[/b]

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Yes, and I suppose some such women might lie low until the six years was up. Might work.

However, the systemic problem is that women more often have the lower-paying, non-union job, with no pension plan. It's women who most often lose out if no one tells them they can lose their rights.

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Originally posted by Sven:
[b]Then, talk to at least two of them (better: three) and then make a decision based on who you feel most comfortable with and the fees they charge.[/b]

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In small communities some men try to talk to every family lawyer quickly, so as to stop his wife from being able to retain any of them.

Few lawyers, if any, will give free second opinions. A client who changes lawyers three times will impress the judge as a difficult client. Best to find someone well-recommended before talking to him or her.

It's obviously a good idea to contact a lawyer.

In Ontario, a spouse is not necessarily entitled [i]half[/i] of the assets: my understanding is that each spouse is entitled to one half of the value of the total assets [i]accumulated from the date of the marriage to the date of separation[/i], as well as one half of the equity in the matrimonial home, on the date of separation. So neither you nor your spouse would be entitled to one half of the other's pension, but rather only to one half of the difference in the pensions' value between the date of marriage and the date of separation. I assume the rules are similar in BC.

These rules are not hard and fast. Couples can agree to their own arrangements: many couples I know have simply agreed that each spouse keeps her/his pension and bank accouts, and that certain other assets be split in such and such a way. Also, if the marriage itself lasted for less than five years (I think) then the judge has discretion to bend the rules one way or the other. If we marry on Monday, you win the lottery on Tuesday and we separate on Wednesday, the judge has the discretion not to award me fully half of the lottery winnings.

For what it's worth, I got a divorce without lawyers. In Ontario, the divorce can be filed and finalized before the financial arrangements are finalized, as least if there are no children. My ex and I never filed any formal financial documents or papers or anything: we have our own informal arrangement of which the courts are completely ignorant.

[ 12 July 2007: Message edited by: torontoprofessor ]

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Originally posted by torontoprofessor:
[b]Many couples I know have simply agreed that each spouse keeps her/his pension and bank accouts, and that certain other assets be split in such and such a way.[/b]

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However, unless an actuarial valuation of the pension plan's value has been obtained, the other spouse will not know what she has signed off, and when she finds out it was much bigger than she thought, she may well be able to set the agreement aside.

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Originally posted by torontoprofessor:
[b]In Ontario, a spouse is not necessarily entitled [i]half[/i] of the assets: my understanding is that each spouse is entitled to one half of the value of the total assets [i]accumulated from the date of the marriage to the date of separation[/i], as well as one half of the equity in the matrimonial home, on the date of separation. So neither you nor your spouse would be entitled to one half of the other's pension, but rather only to one half of the difference in the pensions' value between the date of marriage and the date of separation.
[/b]

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True, and there are several other exemptions.

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Originally posted by torontoprofessor:
[b]Also, if the marriage itself lasted for less than five years (I think) then the judge has discretion to bend the rules one way or the other. If we marry on Monday, you win the lottery on Tuesday and we separate on Wednesday, the judge has the discretion not to award me fully half of the lottery winnings.[/b]

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True, but not total discretion; only if equal division after the short marriage would be unconscionable.

Cost me $350 without a lawyer but then we had no kids or pension plans to worry about. I would hope that no one, male or female, would dodge their responsibility to divide things fairly. Trying to hide money, pension funds etc is repugnant for any sex.