Thank you Torontoprofessor, it was very difficult to write, as the essence of emotions felt are difficult to express.
A much greater connection is felt to the place where he lived out the last moments of his life, as opposed to where his ashes are buried. Perhaps that is because he was crying out for help, that came much too late. He cried so loud, it jarred me from sleep 100's of km away, where I woke up screaming "where are you, so I can fiind you?", leading to desperate searches across the province in the middle of the night to see if someone knew where he was.
Anyhow, my apologies for dumping this out, the anniversary of that tragic loss was just a few days ago.