Seal hunt accelerates global warming and may cause impotence, scientists say

Never mind fertility, unionist; there's more immediate medical risks.  According to a longitudinal case cohort study conducted on sealers by European scientists, there's a strong correlation between swine flu and hunting seals.  You heard me right: it actually should be called, "Seal flu" because the data uncovered by these scientists suggests that seals, not pigs, were the original hosts of this potentially deadly scourge.

Are you guys for real?

Links please.

I've read somewhere that the seal hunt is having an effect on the magnetic field surrounding the planet, and that with each seal killed, magnetic north pole moves a little closer to Alaska.

Tommy_Paine wrote:

There's wide spread reports too, that exposure to seal fats-- even through incidental skin/treated fur contact is an agonist, mimicing the action of endocannabinoids in the brain. This acts in turn as an antagonist for gamma amino butyric acid...

Tommy...how the frickin hell do you misspell "mimicking" but you get "endocannabinoids" and "gamma-aminobutyric acid" more or less right??

I'd add, neurologically speaking, seal fat is also an N-methyl-D-aspartate (NMDA) receptor antagonist, just like ketamine and phenycyclidine (PCP).  And like cocaine, it blocks the reuptake of dopamine at the presynaptic dopaminergic receptors throughout the central nervous system.  This is why sealers keep clubbing seals: it's not their livelihood - they're getting high.

Must be a mistake in the link. The info is not redacted;-)

Unionist, it just so happens part of the studies to which you are refering were released to Wikileaks and the increase of global warming emissions is actually directly attributable to the seal clubbers as opposed to the seal clubbees. According the reports I've read, sealers, as they are known in the local parlance, consume vast quantities of fermented starches before engaging in the act of clubbing during which they release one of the most potent green house gases, methane. This is known to the locals as "beer farts". Apparently this repeats every twenty-fours during the seal clubbing cycle which may extend, depending on various factors, for weeks.

From a political-antagonist-anthrozoologist-ethological-lamarckian evolutionary perspective, which is widely supported by top names in the fields of biology, chemistry, physics, economic theory, political science, and climate science, it is hypothesized that seals of the upper decile of seal intelligence are capable of either a) apprehending the need for widespread resistance to the hunt or b)seek to increase their population numbers for sea dominance. Also, it appears that these seals have grasped shifting climate patterns as a contentious issue due to the increased appearance of 'peaceful' humans making prolonged visits to ice sheets.

This hypothesis is supported by verification of the production of a special seal enzyme that can create a dense, unidentified substance in their cells upon the sight of sealing boats - not scientists' boats - only in seals that score in the upper decile. When this substance is subject to decomposition, it decomposes into a highly potent GHG.

The presence of more than 5 dozen organized seals that appeared to be ruminating through sonic communication for weeks on end in the presence of scientists raised suspicions of the possible development of political antagonistic behaviour with self-produced lamarckian genetic evolution. These seals were trapped and studied for this project,and compared to a random sample of seals. The random sample had insignificant production of this enzyme (5%), while 100% of the 'intelligent' trapped group produced this enzyme.

It is hypothesized that when these seals escape the hunt they pass these acquired traits to their offspring. Indeed, this was verified in a separate study of fecundicity of intelligent seals. When killed, these seals with this acquired genetic trait appear to accelarate the greenhouse effect through the release of these superGHGs. Increasingly, the seal population is acquiring this trait through the reproductive and survival capacities of intelligent seals.

These findings do not doubt that there are other possibilities of self-produced forms of resistance through genetics, or that indeed seals are developing discursive capacities to plot other forms of resistance through the problems of climate change.

What appears to be the goal of this antagonism is a catastrophic climate change process that destroys human life or leads to the reduction of human activities that cause seal mortality (ie the seal hunt). Scientists also hypothesize that intelligent seals may be able to use their conscious self-evolutionary capacities to migrate to different climate regions, or even inland provided they develop sufficient knowledge to do so.

Unionist wrote:

[center][color=green][u][i][b]Breaking news[/b][/i][/u][/color][/center]

I am advised that a google search for "seal hunt impotence" (without the "" marks) yields, as its very first hit, an obscure but invaluable trove of examples of this hitherto insufficiently investigated phenomenon. Apparently, some of most infertile minds of our time have weighed in on the debate.

On the contrary. Concerned minds looking to find the truth  about health problems associated with the seal hunt will find a wealth of quality information by searching "seal hunt medical risks" or "seal flu" . The educated public needs to know.

Quote:

To see how my company can save you dollar$ and the environment, contact my green company's "representative" in Ottawa, Rahim Jaffer. Or he'll contact you. For money. He can be contacted at "Les Girls" on Sparks St, Ottawa, or just stop by any Conservative MP's office. Eventually you'll run into him.

Priceless!

(big musical finish)

From seeeeeeeal tooooo shining seeeeeeeal

This seal-hunt theory is garbage.  Everyone knows that the increase in global warming is inversely proportional to the number of pirates plying the seas.  Hence, we need more pirates.