An emerging Western View of Mounties
From a western friend:
Subject: Fw: Saskatchewan Cop
Two men were driving through Saskatchewan when they got pulled over by an RCMP officer. The cop walked up and tapped on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolled down the window, and WHACK, the cop smacked him in the head with his nightstick.
"What the hell was that for?" the driver asked.
"You're in Saskatchewan son,"the cop answered. "When we pull you over in Saskatchewan, you better have your license ready by the time we get to your car."
"I'm sorry officer," the driver said, "I'm not from around here."
The cop runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean, and gives the guy his license back. The cop then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window, and WHACK, the cop smacks him on the head with the nightstick.
"What'd you do that for?" the passenger demands.
"Just making your wish come true," replied the cop.
"Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asked.
"Because I know your type," the cop says, "two miles down the road, you're gonna turn to your buddy and say, 'I wish that asshole would've tried that shit with me!'"
You might know Lorne Cardinal better as "Officer Davis" on "Corner Gas". I heard this bit from a stand up routine of his, describing being pulled over in Saskatchewan:
Officer:"Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Cardinal:" Um.... you're lonely?"
Officer: "....yeah....up for a game of cribbage?"
I was pulled over for speeding a number of years ago while hurrying through Saskatchewan on my way to get someplace. The officer was actually quite pleasant and friendly. Looked at my Ontario plates and noted that I drove more like I was from Alberta, and smiled when my daughter took a picture of her.
George, that's hilarious. [img]biggrin.gif" border="0[/img] Forwarded!
A new one, for me, from Saul Bellow's letters, writing to Richard Stern that "I wouldn't throw in the towel - yet. A little anecdote to illustrate...
"An old man lives in the forest alone and gathers winter fuel and finds himself one day unable to lift his burden of sticks. He raises his eyes to heaven and says, "O God, send me Death," and when Death comes Death says, 'Did you send for me, sir?' The old man replies, 'Yes, lend me a hand with these sticks. Just put them on my shoulder and I'll do the rest'."
The writer had yet to complete Ravelstein.
(had to dig up a very old thread to post this one...Bellow's joie de vivre always drew me in...
Hmm, that Bellow fellah ain`t no Tolstoy.
Read any of his stuff? i.e.Ravelstein I expect not, since you're becoming even shallower than you've made out.
Luckily this is called banter and not curmudgeon central, or else we'd really be in for it.
For Whom the Bellow Tolstoy
Yes. One of Ernie Highway's early works.
Hm. Stereotyping is stereotyping.
Mr. Payne and Mr. Goat gently give perspective but "the emerging western view" is lost in the same ol' same ol'.
Read any of his stuff? i.e.Ravelstein I expect not, since you're becoming even shallower than you've made out.
Trans. "whoosh."