Rape, bullying led to N.S. teen's death

79 posts / 0 new

Tue, 2013-04-09 18:44

Kara

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/story/2013/04/09/ns-rehtaeh-parsons-suicide-rape.html

Very sad story that seems to happen too often. Something is seriously wrong with people and our society in general when the victim is bullied by her peers and the perpetrator(s) is (are) protected by his (their) peers. Also, the crown is far too often reluctant to pursue these cases, further betraying the victim. Considering that she was drunk and therefore unable to give consent, the sexual acts could not have been consensual, regardless of the statements made by the boys. So instead of getting any kind of justice for her, her family gets to bury their teenage daughter.

Tue, 2013-04-09 19:24

Paladin1

As a parent of girls stories like this fill me with sadness and dread at the same time.

I'm astounded at how brutal and vicious teenagers are towards each other over facebook and other online programs. Not to mention what you hear about in stories like this that happen at school.

I'm very big on monitoring a teenagers online footprint (within reason) and parents catching harmfull interactions and stopping them right away.

I think the schools need to do more in terms of identifying bulling and doing more to stop it.

Tue, 2013-04-09 23:59

NorthReport

I don't care if he is NDP. Dexter should fire his justice minister now! Not tomorrow! Not next week! Now!

Wed, 2013-04-10 00:35

NorthReport

Mother launches Facebook attack against those she blames for teen daughter’s suicide

“Rehtaeh is gone today because of the four boys that thought that raping a 15 yr old girl was OK and to distribute a photo to ruin her spirit and reputation would be fun,” she wrote.

“Secondly, all the bullying and messaging and harassment that never let up are also to blame. Lastly, the justice system failed her. Those are the people that took the life of my beautiful girl.”

The tragic story, with its elements of sex, bullying and suicide, echoes that of Amanda Todd, the 15-year-old British Columbia girl who took her life last October after suffering years of torment that began when she showed her breasts online.

That case led to a public outcry against cyber-bullying, with B.C. Premier Christy Clark raising the possibility of changing the Criminal Code.

But like Amanda’s ordeal, which she documented in a YouTube video that referred to her substance abuse and mental illness, Rehtaeh’s story is not black and white.

Ms. Parsons singled out the justice system for failing to prosecute those responsible for the alleged assault on her daughter, but on Tuesday the RCMP and Nova Scotia’s Public Prosecution Service said there was simply not enough evidence to go to trial.

“An investigation was completed and in consultation with the Crown there was insufficient evidence to proceed with charges,” Cpl. Scott MacRae told the National Post.

http://news.nationalpost.com/2013/04/09/mother-launches-facebook-attack-...

Wed, 2013-04-10 00:37

NorthReport

The Justice Minister has just made a huge mistake. This is unconscionable!

Nova Scotia girl commits suicide after being sexually assaulted by four teens, mother allegesAfter being allegedly sexually assaulted at the age of 15 by four boys and subsequently bullied, 17-year-old Rehtaeh Parsons committed suicide last week.

Some of Rehtaeh Parsons' friends remembered her as an animal lover, and many pictures on the memorial page show Parsons with various dogs.

COURTESY OF FACEBOOK

Some of Rehtaeh Parsons' friends remembered her as an animal lover, and many pictures on the memorial page show Parsons with various dogs.

But the province’s justice minister Ross Landry says he won’t ask the RCMP to reopen the investigation.

“I have no evidence or no information before me at this time to say that the RCMP did not follow appropriate procedures and policies,” Landry told The Canadian Press, adding that the RCMP hasn’t received any formal complaint from the mother regarding the investigation.

“In regards to the issue of second-guessing the police at every case, no, I’m not going to do that.”

http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2013/04/09/nova_scotia_girl_commits_s...

Wed, 2013-04-10 00:57

Michelle

Hey, National Post, this story does NOT have "elements of sex" in it. There was no sex in this story. There was rape in this story.

Wed, 2013-04-10 11:57

Kara

Starting at a very young age, kids need to be educated about what constitutes sexual assault, what is consent, etc. because seemingly too many kids seem to think there is nothing wrong with a group attack on an incapacitated young woman. What is particularly digusting to me is that if a young male school mate was passed out or unconcious, I doubt the same group would be standing around cheering and taking photos as others kicked him or physically assaulted him. Yet these assholes are completely fine with watching a young woman be sexually assaulted.

Also, this extreme bullying of victimized young women has to be dealt with much more severely. In far too many cases of sexual assault involving high school or university students, the victim is the one offered the least support by the institutions, often because the young male attackers are the star athletes or otherwise prominent students. In this particular case, it sounds like the teacher and school knew about the bullying of this young woman yet did nothing about it. Every teacher or school official who knew about this and did nothing should be fired immediately. They failed at their job and are not fit to be entrusted with students well being.

Finally, the justice minister should be fired and the crown prosecutor fired (or disciplined if they were only acting on the advice of a superior). Not only was Rehtaeh the victim of a rape, she was victimized by the assholes who thought it was fine to post pictures of it, by the assholes who thought it was fine to cheer on the attackers rather than intervene on behalf of an incapacitated 15 year old girl, by those who engaged in unrelenting harassment of her, etc. If a justice minister or crown prosecutor cannot find any crimes amongst all those incidents, they quite clearly are completely unqualified for their position.

And, to quote the eminently quotable NorthReport, "fuck you Canada if this is the kind of society that we have become". This sentiment cannot be repeated enough.

Wed, 2013-04-10 12:13

NorthReport

Well said Michelle.

This is very, very difficult to read about.

And fuck you Canada if this is the kind of society that we have become and/or creating.

http://thechronicleherald.ca/novascotia/1122504-at-school-many-were-putt...

Wed, 2013-04-10 12:16

Paladin1

Can the boys involved in the picture taking and sharing not be charged with child pornography?

Wed, 2013-04-10 13:52

#10

NorthReport

Not good enough and you need to look in the mirror yourself. Please do the honourable thing, be a principled man, and step down.

And you too Premier Dexter, if you are even listening, start showing some leadership, some responsibility and compassion towards this family and fire your Justice Minister on the spot.

And if you don't, I hope the people of Nova Scotial fire you at the next election instead.

And by-the-way I just happen to be an NDPer!

Justice Minister admits his initial response to teen’s suicide was inadequate

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/justice-minister-admits-his...

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Wed, 2013-04-10 17:29

#11

NorthReport

Rehtaeh Parsons was my daughter

Rehtaeh Parsons father, Glen Canning, has posted a statement to his blog about his daughter's death.

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is a post from the blog of Glen Canning, Rehtaeh Parsons’s father, in response to media inquiries about his daughter’s death. Canning posted this on April 10.

My daughter was three years old when we went to watch Babe: Pig in the City. There’s a part in the movie when Babe knocks over a goldfish bowl and the fish falls onto the floor and starts flopping around. When this happened Rae suddenly stood up on her chair in the movie theatre and started screaming for someone to help the fish. She cried for it as I tried to reassure her Babe would help (thank God he did) and that the fish would be alright.

That was the nature of my daughter Rehtaeh. She was like that her whole life. I couldn’t go for a walk in Halifax with her without her asking me for change to give to someone in need. She was always looking out for people or animals that needed help. She called Animal Control Services on our neighbors because they left their dog outside too long. Her room and her life was always full of little creatures.

Sometimes her heart was too big, sometimes it scared me.

They say parents need to teach their children. Instead, it was Rehtaeh who was my teacher. My precious gift. She was the absolute best part of my life.

There’s a wooden box in my house that holds all the memories I have of my beautiful little girl. The outfit she wore home from the hospital, a hand print in clay, art, school cards and drawings, mementoes of her life. Even a newspaper dated December 9th, 1995, the day she came into this world.

I tried to keep it all for her, to have someday when she grew up and had her own family. That day will never come.

Rehtaeh died April 7th at 11:15 PM. She was 17 years old.

She died struggling to live, much as she spent the last 18 months. She hung on right to the very end, when the nurses were telling us if she couldn’t be declared brain dead soon they couldn’t use her as an organ donor. We couldn’t wait any longer. She couldn’t live any longer. And right at the last moment there was a change in her blood pressure as the last part of her brain gave away. She knew she had to leave. It was time to let go and find peace.

It was so like her to hang on right up until the very last second. To give us all a chance to hold her hand, wipe her tears away, and kiss her beautiful face for the last time.

I tried my best to save my daughter’s life. I believe that in my heart.

I asked her repeatedly what I could do, was I doing enough, what did she want from me? She said she just wanted me to be her dad. To make her laugh. To do everything possible to keep a part of her life normal. She said it helped more than I could ever know.

I prayed for the best while I prepared her for the worst. We went to counseling together. Sometimes I was the drive, sometimes the father, sometimes the counselor.

The worst nightmare of my life has just begun. I loved my beautiful baby with all my heart. She meant everything to me. I felt her heart beating in my soul from the moment she was born until the moment she died. We were a team. We were best pals. We often sat on my couch and laughed until we could hardly speak. When we weren’t together she would call me or text me every single day, just to say hi, to say she loved me. The life I had with my daughter was a rare thing. It was wonderful, it consumed me. I was defined by it. It made my life rich and beautiful.

She was amazing.

Yesterday I looked at another wooden box. It will hold her ashes. I hate it.

I had to write something about this. I don’t want her life to defined by a Google search about suicide or death or rape. I want it to be about the giving heart she had. Her smile. Her love of life and the beautiful way in which she lived it.

I found out this afternoon my daughter saved the life of a young woman with her heart. How fitting.

She also gave someone a new liver, a kidney, a new breath, and a new chance to love. She saved the lives of four people with her final gift of life. She was that wonderful.

Someone out there is going to look at the world with my daughter’s eyes. The most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.

To the Justice Minister of Nova Scotia

Rehtaeh Parsons thought the worst outcome for her case would be no charges against the men who raped her but we all know better. The worst thing that could happen would be charges. That they would be found guilty, and that Rehtaeh would sit on a court bench and listen in utter disbelief as they were given parole, or a suspended sentence, or community service. All for completely destroying her life while they laughed.

Why is it they didn’t just think they would get away with it; they knew they would get away with it. They took photos of it. They posted it on their Facebook walls. They emailed it to God knows who. They shared it with the world as if it was a funny animation.

How is it possible for someone to leave a digital trail like that yet the RCMP don’t have evidence of a crime? What were they looking for if photos and bragging weren’t enough?

Why was this treated like a minor incident of bullying rather than a rape? Isn’t the production and distribution of child porn a crime in this country? Numerous people were emailed that photo. The police have that information (or at least they told us they did). When someone claims they were raped is it normal to wait months before talking to the accused?

You have the opportunity here to do something good and lets face it; the court system in Nova Scotia was just going to rape her all over again with indifference to her suffering and the damage this did to her.

My daughter wasn’t bullied to death, she was disappointed to death. Disappointed in people she thought she could trust, her school, and the police.

She was my daughter, but she was your daughter too.

For the love of God do something.

***I’ve been contacted from media outlets from all over the world and as a past member of the media I understand why you all want to speak with me. You have all been very courteous, professional, and respectful. Please know, however, this is the only statement I am able to make. I’m too devastated.***

I feel like I’m dead inside.

About the Author By GLEN CANNING

http://thechronicleherald.ca/metro/1122650-rehtaeh-parsons-was-my-daughter

Wed, 2013-04-10 17:38

#12

NorthReport

Well yes and no. Yes it is too late to do the right thing for Rehtaeh Parsons, as she is already dead, but no, it is not too late for you to do the right thing. Please resign!

Landry: ‘It’s never too late ... to do the right thing’

http://thechronicleherald.ca/novascotia/1122616-landry-it-s-never-too-la...

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Wed, 2013-04-10 17:49

#13

NorthReport

At school, many were ‘putting the blame on Rehtaeh’

http://thechronicleherald.ca/novascotia/1122504-at-school-many-were-putt...

Wed, 2013-04-10 17:50

#14

NorthReport

http://thechronicleherald.ca/classifieds/announcements/obituaries/parson...

Wed, 2013-04-10 17:51

#15

NorthReport

School administration didn’t probe incident

http://thechronicleherald.ca/metro/1122506-school-administration-didn-t-...

Wed, 2013-04-10 18:34

#16

NorthReport

What we probably can expect to see is a bunch of people covering their ass because goodness knows if they were found to be incompetent they might lose their gold-plasted pensions.

Halifax school board to review actions in Parsons case

http://thechronicleherald.ca/novascotia/1122618-halifax-school-board-to-...

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Wed, 2013-04-10 18:41

#17

Kara

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/story/2013/04/10/ns-rehtaeh-suicide-reaction-todd.html

I have a lot of admiration for Leah Parson because much like Carol Todd, she is looking for justice for her daughter and not vengeance. It must take a lot of strength for a mother who lost her child in such a horrible way to channel her grief towards something positive rather than towards hatred and vengeance.

In contrast, one has to wonder what kind of people the parents of the bullies and especially the rapists are that they protect their kids despite their horrible actions that had such horrific consequences. Making excuses for your kid's atrocious behaviour does not help your kid in the long run - you are only enabling their terrible behaviour. All it takes is one of these parents to take some responsibility and make their kid face the consequences of their actions and the floodgates will open. I just find it disgraceful these days that shielding your kid from taking responsibility for their actions, which seems much more likely to happen with boys than girls, is seen as good parenting - only if you want to raise an anti-social spoilt brat with an unearned sense of entitlement.

Wed, 2013-04-10 18:44

#18

Michelle

We could probably analyze this case without attacking the well-earned pensions that education workers collectively bargain. I understand your anger, I'm peeved too, but this isn't about whether or not educators get good pensions or not. Everyone should have good pensions.

An interesting comment from one of the articles posted:

Quote:

Who was fhe boy? Name him. There is no youth justice pritection when an investigation never took place, and the crown believes no crime happened. And given then he willing had his picture taken, and posted (unlike the victim), he can't claim an right to not be identified anyway.

Enough. There is a chance here to move some of the stigma over to those who tormented the girl. Name the boy in the picture. I for one, would like to avoid EVER hiring him, or letting him see MY daughter.

I don't agree with this. But I'm just mad enough to agree with this right now, even though deep down I know that wouldn't really help anything, and I don't believe in that kind of "criminal justice". Stories like this bring out my inner vigilante fascist.

But I think if I were her parents, and if I had access to all those texts she got on her phone from people calling her a "slut", now that Parsons isn't alive to be hurt by it anymore, I'd consider publishing them openly now with names and phone numbers. I'm not saying I'd be right to do that. But I think I'd do it.

I hope all those little turds who were tormenting her are feeling like total shit right now. And I hope they're living in fear of their texts being exposed and made public, and losing sleep over whether it will happen.

Wed, 2013-04-10 18:50

#19

Michelle

This is interesting. Anonymous is on the case.

Quote:

The “hacktivist” organization Anonymous says it knows the identities of at least two of the four boys involved in the alleged gang rape of Rehtaeh Parsons and are threatening to release their names and locations unless the RCMP charges them.

“Our demands are simple: We want the N.S. RCMP to take immediate legal action against the individuals in question. We encourage you to act fast. If we were able to locate these boys within 2 hours, it will not be long before someone else finds them,” the Anonymous group working under the name “Operation Justice For Rehtaeh” said in a Wednesday press release.

The group initially said they knew the names of two of the four boys, but within 30 minutes said on Twitter it knew the names of all of the alleged perpetrators.

“We do not approve of vigilante justice as the media claims. That would mean we approve of violent actions against these rapists at the hands of an unruly mob. What we want is justice. And that’s your job. So do it.”

Wed, 2013-04-10 19:01

#20

NorthReport

Even in her grief Rehtaeh Parsons' Mom has a lot of wisdom.

Rehtaeh Parsons' mom calls for vigilantes to stop

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/story/2013/04/10/ns-rehtaeh-su...

Wed, 2013-04-10 19:17

#21

kropotkin1951

Instead of outing them and seeing them bullied I would prefer that they charged the four alleged rapists and offered a deal to the first one that testified about what really happened. The justice system needs to start taking rape seriously. That is the big problem in this case. The reaction of the authorities will not deter more rapes it will likely encourage them since assholes like the four in this story will presume they can get away with rape since after all its just a he said she said matter. If they all refuse to cooperate then I hope that someone posts their names on line, maybe a little "peer pressure" would help convince at least one of them to do the right thing.

Wed, 2013-04-10 19:26

#22

mark_alfred

There's a petition about this. http://www.change.org/petitions/justice-for-rehtaeh-demand-an-independen...

Wed, 2013-04-10 19:34

#23

NorthReport

I think the Mom should be respected and she has asked for that not to happen.

kropotkin1951 wrote:

If they all refuse to cooperate then I hope that someone posts their names on line, maybe a little "peer pressure" would help convince at least one of them to do the right thing.

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Wed, 2013-04-10 19:52

#24

kropotkin1951

So what that is what you think. Good for you. I did not call for physical violence and that is what the Mom said she didn't want to happen.

Wed, 2013-04-10 19:52

#25

Michelle

She didn't say she didn't want them outed. She says she wants the justice system to go after them. This is what Anonymous is saying in their statement too - they are threatening to publish the names UNLESS charges are laid.

Anonymous also said in their statement that they don't support vigilante justice and don't want to see the boys harmed or for people to go after them - they want charges laid. And if charges are laid, their names won't be able to be published anyhow.

She herself created a Facebook page putting the blame exactly where it belongs - on the 4 boys, and the justice system that refused to help her daughter.

They can't have it both ways. If they're charged, then their identities will have to be protected as young offenders, and I support that completely. If they're not charged, then there are no accused perpetrators whose identities need protecting. It's interesting logic they're using.

That said...I also don't think name-and-shame is all that productive. It certainly won't contribute to anything resembling rehabilitation for these boys, and in my opinion, that should be the end goal of justice.

I also think it's ironic that the RCMP are oh so concerned, and very very quick to try and protect the boys in this case from people on the internet shaming them. Too bad they didn't give even a tenth of a damn about Rehtaeh Parsons and the shaming she endured for years. Even though they had tons of text and image evidence from lots of cell phones. No, it was all just "he said, she said," until the boys might be in for a bit of the same. Now, suddenly, the RCMP really cares a lot about online bullying.

Wed, 2013-04-10 19:58

#26

Paladin1

Kara wrote:

In contrast, one has to wonder what kind of people the parents of the bullies and especially the rapists are that they protect their kids despite their horrible actions that had such horrific consequences. Making excuses for your kid's atrocious behaviour does not help your kid in the long run - you are only enabling their terrible behaviour. All it takes is one of these parents to take some responsibility and make their kid face the consequences of their actions and the floodgates will open. I just find it disgraceful these days that shielding your kid from taking responsibility for their actions, which seems much more likely to happen with boys than girls, is seen as good parenting - only if you want to raise an anti-social spoilt brat with an unearned sense of entitlement.

Kara I'm enjoying your insight on this.

With regards to what you said above I think the parents are understandably worried about the saftey of their kids. I know their kids (in cases like this) are responsible for something henious crimes but given the Roman-type mob mentality people have over facebook and stuff and the violence they revel in I can't honestly blame a parent for initially reacting the way they do. As much as kids (and adults too) seem to enjoy harassing other human beings and driving them to suicide so too do people seem to loose themselves in frothing at the mouth screaming for vengence. I've seen some online comments.

"NAME THESE KIDS!!!! I WIL TAKE CARE OF THEM MYSELF!!"

Probably an idle threat, but maybe not. Misplaced anger or maybe anger that's expressed in a very bad way?

I agree parents need to step up and make their kids take responsibility for their actions. Get involved in their kids lives and not say "I didn't know".

I think parents should somehow share in the responsibility of their children too, though I am not quite sure how.

Michelle wrote:

This is interesting. Anonymous is on the case.

Quote:

The “hacktivist” organization Anonymous says it knows the identities of at least two of the four boys involved in the alleged gang rape of Rehtaeh Parsons and are threatening to release their names and locations unless the RCMP charges them.

“Our demands are simple: We want the N.S. RCMP to take immediate legal action against the individuals in question. We encourage you to act fast. If we were able to locate these boys within 2 hours, it will not be long before someone else finds them,” the Anonymous group working under the name “Operation Justice For Rehtaeh” said in a Wednesday press release.

The group initially said they knew the names of two of the four boys, but within 30 minutes said on Twitter it knew the names of all of the alleged perpetrators.

“We do not approve of vigilante justice as the media claims. That would mean we approve of violent actions against these rapists at the hands of an unruly mob. What we want is justice. And that’s your job. So do it.”

I'm a hypocrite when it comes to this. On one hand I want to see the people responsible punished. I say release their names and let their lives be destroyed just like they destroyed this girls and her families. That's an emotional reaction I know.

On the other hand I am not so sure about Anonymous blackmailing the RCMP like that. They can say they don't approve of vigilante justice but that's exactly what will happen if they release the names. People will take it upon themselves to get some justice done.

If the RCMP investigated and for whatever reason found that the kids couldn't be held accountable under whatever law then what happens? Anonymous decided to release the names anyways, or not being happy with the verdict does something else?

What if Anonymous releases the wrong information and an innocent person kills themselves too because of the stress?

Wed, 2013-04-10 20:09

#27

Michelle

Also - Anonymous themselves are calling on all Anons to respect the wishes of Rehtaeh's mother and not out the boys right now.

https://twitter.com/YourAnonNews/status/322102583755931648

And also:

http://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=567340299966703&id=239495832751153

Wed, 2013-04-10 20:12

#28

Michelle

I know. I hear you, Oath - I'm a total hypocrite on this too.

But really, we're not, if we recognize the little vigilante in all of us and realize that measures have to be put in place to ensure we as humans don't act on that perfectly natural instinct. It's like that old argument used by supporters of capital punishment: what if someone killed your kid? Wouldn't you want their killer to die?

Yes, I would, and I'd want to do it with my bare hands (I think). Does that mean I think it's good for society? No, absolutely not, which is why I don't support ideas like letting the families of victims decide the punishment for perpetrators.

Wed, 2013-04-10 20:16

#29

Michelle

And yes, that is the problem with vigilante justice. That apparently happened in the Amanda Todd case - they released the wrong name, and devastated some guy's life - and it turned out to be a guy who was actually trying to help her catch her blackmailer! So...yeah. I get it.

But the RCMP has not released any reasons for not pressing charges that don't sound completely stupid and far-fetched. Until they do, I can't say I'm upset over this barrel that Anonymous has the RCMP over.

Wed, 2013-04-10 20:34

#30

kropotkin1951

The RCMP is broken and that is a big part of the problem. The lack of action in this case sounds like what women members of the force have had to endure for years. Its just boys being boys seems to be the only fucking attitude that our police forces bring to the table. Hundreds of missing women on the Trail of Tears and what resources are being used compared to the Stanley Cup riot and the G8/20 protests. They are good examples of where the police forces seem to understand applying pressure and making sure that people pay for their crimes. If it was only the same for young women who have been sexually assaulted.

Thu, 2013-04-11 09:11

#31

abnormal

Apparently NS has backtracked on its decision to let the case stand:

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2013/04/10/20728216.html

Thu, 2013-04-11 12:44

#32

mark_alfred

There's an article in the Star entitled Rehtaeh Parsons’ friends were silent about alleged sexual assault. It seems that both Landry and the NS Minister of Education are getting more proactive about it now. So, questions are now being asked of the establishment's response to the assault, and this article questions why her peer group was silent regarding the assault. But, from what I read, her peer group was not "silent". Rather, many proactively shunned her. From the article:

Quote:
According to her family, when Parsons was 15 she was allegedly sexually assaulted by four boys at a home on a weekend night in November. A photograph of the alleged assault was taken, and within days it had been circulated through the school via email and social media.

Parsons was bullied relentlessly, called a “slut,” propositioned by boys she had never met because of her false reputation, says Leah Parsons. Her daughter descended into a deep depression, switched schools, checked herself into hospital for six weeks to improve her mental health.

Troubling. Why would the release of such photos be seen in her peer group as being socially advantageous for the assailants and shaming for the victim? It's not the first time this scenario has played out. I think there was a similar case in BC a while back also, at some rock concert.

Thu, 2013-04-11 13:33

#33

Kara

Whereas numerous sexual conquests are seen as "notches in the bedpost" for males, they are seen as slutty for females - sadly, who knows when that attitude will change. That is why the photos are seen as studly for the assailants and shameful for the victim. Unfair and disgusting but that is the world we still live in.

As for why her "friends" were silent and / or joined in the bullying, there are many reasons. I expect that at least some of the girls were fearful of the consequences of sticking up for Rehtaeh.

They may have been afraid of being the next victim of an attack by the same guys in similar circumstances. If they got away with it once, why wouldn't they think they can get away with it again. You know, "boys will be boys".
They may have been afraid of becoming an outcast and ending up the next victim of cyber-bullying. As long as schools ignore these problems, that threat will always be there.
Girls tend to learn at an early age that we need a boyfriend or else we're a loser, ugly, hopeless, etc. Finding a boyfriend is a lot harder when the boys are all pissed off at you. Lots of teenage girls put up with a lot of crap from their boyfriends rather than be single. This carries on into adulthood where women are often judged by how well they marry - the "well" usually meaning wealth rather than decency.
Teenage girls generally don't want to piss off the pack of wolves (the cool guys) because they are unrelentingly cruel and can make one's life complete hell. Teenage girls are insecure enough without being verbally assaulted every day about what isn't perfect about them. I tutored girls in maths and sciences to try to encourage more girls to pursue that avenue. It was shocking to me how some girls who were stunningly beautiful thought they were the most ugly, worthless people around - usually just because they had shot down some guy who was interested in them. (Note that I'm not saying that external beauty deserves the importance it receives in our society but it's stupid to deny that beauty plays a much more important role in women's lives than it does in men's lives, even in career success.)
There can be a sense of competition between girls over guys and that can definitely destroy any sense of sisterhood. Similar to that is when a woman finds out her spouse / partner is having an affair, a disproportionate amount of the anger can be directed at the other woman rather than at the cheating partner.
Some girls are just mean and others take out their insecurities on other girls. Not all girls are nice; not all boys are terrible.
The obvious - peer pressure.

I really hope that the cyber bullying angle does not draw away focus from the sexual assault. It definitely sounds as if bullying played a role in Rehtaeh's death but without the gang rape, there would have been no photos or any of the ensuing bullying. The boys who engaged in these activities are dangerous because one doesn't need much decency or common sense to know that taking a photo of yourself giving the thumbs up sign while a girl is being raped is just plain wrong.

Thu, 2013-04-11 13:45

#34

Kara

One other thing I forgot in my far too long and rambling post is the way rape victims are treated. Too often rape victims are viewed almost as tainted, as if they were radioactive. For sure, many people are supportive but even then many of them are kind of standoffish.

Thu, 2013-04-11 16:12

#35

mark_alfred

Thanks for the very informative post, Kara.

Found another statement by anonymous here (4/11 Statement).

Thu, 2013-04-11 16:29

#36

Kara

mark, thanks for the link to the statement.

And just to clear things up once and for all for the young men in Nova Scotia who are unlikely to hear this from any of their role models: vomiting drunk girls are not capable of giving you consent to have sex with them. That kind of sex is called rape. It isn't really sex at all. If that's the only way you can laid, you are pathetic and should stick to quietly sobbing while fondling yourselves in the dark until hopefully the day comes when some woman you probably don't deserve pities you enough to teach you how to act like a real man.

Perhaps this section of their statement should be made a mandatory part of every school's curriculum because seemingly kids these days do not even understand what constitutes rape. Perhaps more disturbingly, the crown prosecutors do not seem to understand this, which is disgraceful. Ultimately, they are the ones that decide whether to lay charges or not, and that they cannot see how the gang rape of an impaired young woman is a crime does not reflect at all well on our justice system.

Thu, 2013-04-11 21:45

#37

KenS

I didnt read the statistics myself and dont remember perfectly what I heard. But one thing I am sure of:

the youngest age group of males has by far the highest percentage who view violent pornography.

I doubt that the pornography per se is the problem. It's another expression of trophy conquest run rampant.

I NEVER would have imagined that this would get worse than when I was young. I always assumed that we were at the bottom of the cesspool, and it could only get better.

Fri, 2013-04-12 01:04

#38

Jacob Two-Two

Of course their names should be made public. These boys are rapists. They are violent assaulters of young women. I'm sure there have been other victims. I'm sure there will be in the future. If the system refuses to deal with these guys, then making their names known is the only defense that the women who associate with them will have. It's the very least that could be done to try and protect people from these violent criminals.

Fri, 2013-04-12 11:27

#39

Bacchus

Rape culture exists because of these 6 things

Fri, 2013-04-12 11:59

#40

kropotkin1951

Rape culture is far more than the six things highlighted at that site.

Rape culture is about fathers leering at women while joking with their teenage boys.

Rape culture is about how the way Hollywood movies portray women is not only accepted but glorified by fathers when they watch those movies with their sons.

Rape culture is about the fact that even soft porn sites that have sections dedicated to "non consensual sex."

Rape culture is about fathers not teaching their sons about respect.

I put much of the blame for our rape culture on men who perpetuate it. Teenagers need role models who speak out against the dominant culture in our society and that has to start with men who are raising sons.

Fri, 2013-04-12 12:13

#41

Bacchus

You have to start somewhere

Fri, 2013-04-12 12:21

#42

kropotkin1951

Yes and that somewhere is with our sons.

Fri, 2013-04-12 13:17

#43

Bacchus

Thats for a individuals responsibility, the others refer to societies/government/law enforcement etc responsibility

You wont get one without the other

Fri, 2013-04-12 13:25

#44

kropotkin1951

The other was about American law so I thought is was not really relevant to Nova Scotia. The last 2 of 6 in particular have no relevance to Canada.

Its like racism in that we need good laws and enforcement but we also need people speaking up whenever it happens in their presence. I happen to think that the prosecutors need to start prosecuting these kinds of cases and test whether or not juries will convict. I would like to hear about the cases that have been brought forward in similar situations where a jury has not convicted. If there are none then the Prosecutors views are just a projection of their own world view.

Fri, 2013-04-12 13:46

#45

Bacchus

I would like to see a string of no convictions before I want to see a prosecutor decide on a case that it cannot be won

Fri, 2013-04-12 13:47

#46

Bacchus

Plus does anyone have a cite that shows rapists can never get visitation or any parental rights in Canada?

Fri, 2013-04-12 13:48

#47

kropotkin1951

Bacchus wrote:

I would like to see a string of no convictions before I want to see a prosecutor decide on a case that it cannot be won

Exactly.

Fri, 2013-04-12 15:57

#48

NorthReport

I think the RCMP need to quit their grandstanding though, and do their job that they are very well paid to do. Surely to goodness, if it was a priority for them, we would have had charges laid by now. If an anonymous group of hackers can gather information, surely the RCMP if they were doing their job properly, could discover that information as well.

Sign me as being very disappointed with the RCMP so far.

RCMP to Anonymous: Take off your masks and we will work with you

http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/rcmp-to-anonymous-take-off-your-masks-and-w...

---------------------------

500

Fri, 2013-04-12 16:24

#49

NorthReport

Better late than never I suppose, but why does it take a public uproar for our RCMP to do the job they are very well paid to do.

Nova Scotia Mounties reopen investigation of Rehtaeh Parsons case after receiving new info

Police say the information did not come from an online source

http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Mounties+reopen+investigation+Rehtaeh+P...

Fri, 2013-04-12 17:27

#50

Unionist

Quote:

Earlier Friday, Premier Darrell Dexter said he was encouraged by Prime Minister Stephen Harper's comments that it's time to stop using the word bullying to describe what allegedly happened to Rehtaeh.

Dexter said he hopes that means Harper is open to changing the Criminal Code.

"It's very helpful," he said.

"He obviously understands this is something that needs to be addressed not just by one level of government ... but takes a co-ordination of effort both federally and provincially."

Dexter said since Ottawa has jurisdiction over telecommunications and the Criminal Code, it could have a key role in reforms that may be sought as a result of what allegedly happened to Rehtaeh.

He said his officials hope to meet with their counterparts in Ottawa to hammer out possibilities for specific law reforms, but Dexter didn't say what specific changes his government is seeking.

Everyone cares. This is so heartwarming. A solution is just around the corner.

NorthReport wrote:
Sign me as being very disappointed with the RCMP so far.

You mean this RCMP?

[url=http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/politics/watchdog-report-on-rcmp-whi... report on RCMP whitewashes systemic sexual harassment, critics charge[/url]

To be blunt: It is inconceivable to me that Harper, Dexter, or the RCMP can be part of the solution here. How I wish I were wrong.

Sat, 2013-04-13 02:29

#51

RevolutionPlease RevolutionPlease's picture

Why does the media post photo's of victims in death without their permission?

Rape, bullying led to N.S. teen's death

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