need help confronting white privilege at a business in Taiwan

11 posts / 0 new

Wed, 2013-04-10 23:25

pharmaplus87 pharmaplus87's picture

Hello everyone :) Sorry for the typos in punctuation and grammar in this post; I just needed to get this off my chest as soon as possible, and will edit this properly as soon as I can.

I am currently living in Taipei, Taiwan, and I am attending a hot yoga studio run by a white American male and his Chinese wife. My concern is that the studio fosters a social atmosphere that unknowingly re-creates white privilege at the cost of dividing the Chinese student population along gender lines. Putting aside this social ignorance, I otherwise belief the studio is an effective business and school, and I desire to continue attending it for health reasons.

Here is my concern: at the studio, the owner, overall a friendly and efficient guy, tries to have conversation with customers at the front desk as they leave class each time. More specifically, although he does this with everyone, including me, he does this more with women under a certain age. Early into my enrolment at the studio, I overheard him casually saying to one young woman: my, you're looking beautiful today, before asking her how she enjoyed the class, the studio, etc. Such behaviour strikes me as flirtatious, especially since he is already married. Also, i saw a racial dimension, as he is a white male and the women he speaks to are mostly Asian, his wife is chinese. There are a few other Chinese men and men of colour attending the studio, and they are typically not as integrated into the studio's community.

i was rude to him the last time i entered the studio, because as i was leaving, he was having a conversation with a young woman that had nothing to do with yoga: where she lived, how far away it was from the studio, etc. i clearly interrupted his conversation, and asked him a question in English (something administrative i was about to ask anyway and didn't have anything to do with this particular situation). Even though it wasn't directly concerned with me, it was a situation I'd encountered numerous times before: a white male chatting with an asian female with increasingly personal overtones that had nothing to do with the situation. Furthermore, this conversation was entirely in English which I felt was a willing ignorance of the local language and customs -- problematic because he is the studio owner.

He didn't get the unwritten message, however, and continued having his conversation even after I left the desk. Therefore, i'm torn between frustration that he didn't get the message that repeated conversations with young women as a married man is flirtatious and improper, that what he was doing had racial overtones, and between my own concern over being rude to the owner -- I had no good intentions in mind, and was offended by his behaviour.

i believe the studio is overall fostering an atmosphere where white people from Euro-America may gather together and re-create the sentiments and attitudes of their home countries, which i consider problematic *only* because they reproduce the racial and gender discrimination of their home countries as well. Coming from the united states myself, I see this kind of subtle Westernization and sexualization of Asian women by white men all the time. Other than these repeated incidents in the studio, I enjoy my yoga classes and the studio tremendously; several of the classes conducted in the studio are half in Chinese, a few in Chinese only, taught by other instructors or the co-owner (this white owner's wife), although not by this owner in particular.

I'm probably leaving out a number of crucial details in this situation, as I am still torn between indignation and my own need to continue with my hot yoga classes. Please help with some reflections and advice, and feel free to ask any questions about the situation, the studio, my need and reasons for attending, etc.

Thank you very much for your attention~

Issues Pages:

Anti-Racism

Thu, 2013-04-11 07:04

Sineed

I suggest that you drop hot yoga and take a more conventional yoga class. Not only does hot yoga support Bikram Choudhury, the copyright troll of the yoga world, but also the high temperatures encourage you to over-stretch and may lead to hyperthermia and dehydration. Hatha yoga is a nice gentle practice. Kundalini yoga is more of a workout, though the singing at the end of class is kind of weird.

~shoppersdrugmart387

Sun, 2013-04-14 13:24

pharmaplus87 pharmaplus87's picture

Thank you for your advice Sineed.

Since your post, I have begun looking at other yoga studios in Taipei, and am in the process of switching to another one. I won't say studios run by Chinese are any less racist than the one I'm going to, but I will say it will probably be a situation I can deal with more effectively. After living in the United States and Canada for so many years, the vast ignorance surrounding the topic of white privilege and the complex and thorough ways it is still suffused throughout the majority of North American culture is such a stressful situation for me, it's probably better to avoid it when I can.

Nevertheless, I do think simply avoiding the situation will not fix things in the long term -- either for these institutions or for anyone who is bound to confront them eventually. I would like to be able to speak with this owner in good faith, and with the belief that positive change can be made to the benefit of everyone. On another, admittedly more materialistic dimension, I still have about nine classes left to go with my current package, and I think it would be a waste to discard them simply because I am uncomfortable with the owner's behaviour.

So -- is there anyone else out there who can help me see this situation in a more rational light? Please? I have been checking this forum regularly for four days now and have unfortunately received no responses other than Sineed's.

Thank you very much for your consideration.

Sun, 2013-04-14 17:16

Maysie

So, we have some racist stuff (which is aggravating, I hear ya) and the fairly clear sexual harassment pieces (which is infuriating). My advice is, if you want to lodge a complaint with the owner or the management, do so. I suggest to do it formally, in writing, clearly outlining your concerns, listing dates and times of incidents you witnessed which were inappropriate, the outcome you're looking for, and suggest possible routes for the staff person in question to change his behaviour.

As a customer, you can conclude with the only threat that business owners seem to take seriously. As Sineed suggested, you can tell them you will be taking your business elsewhere (after all your classes are done), and you can tell them why. You can also tell them that if this isn't resolved in a way that suits you, that you will be telling all your friends not to support their establishment.

Needless to say, it's not against the law for men to be jackasses ( I wish, ha! ) and if he wants to flirt with other women, you surely can't stop him. Ditto whatever fucked-up Orientalist bullshit he may or may not have in his brain about Asian women.

Hey, what's with the pharma talk?

rexall1234

Sun, 2013-04-14 18:14

milo204

Maybe i'm missing something, but

*telling someone they look good in an environment where people are either there to feel good or look good doesn't strike me as all that strange, and by the sounds of it that's as far as it goes...i think it's a stretch to even call that flirting.

*maybe the reason he is speaking english is because that's the lanuage he's most comfortable with, and if other speakers are around (you say they have classes in english) it doesn't strike me as disrespectful to speak in whatver lanuage you want. I.e. people in america saying others should "speak english" because that's the officiial language is racist.

*you're criticizing him for having a chinese wife and speaking to asian women. ummm, aren't you in taiwan?????

Sun, 2013-04-14 18:55

Summer

pharmaplus87 wrote:

Here is my concern: at the studio, the owner, overall a friendly and efficient guy, tries to have conversation with customers at the front desk as they leave class each time. More specifically, although he does this with everyone, including me, he does this more with women under a certain age. Early into my enrolment at the studio, I overheard him casually saying to one young woman: my, you're looking beautiful today, before asking her how she enjoyed the class, the studio, etc. Such behaviour strikes me as flirtatious, especially since he is already married. Also, i saw a racial dimension, as he is a white male and the women he speaks to are mostly Asian, his wife is chinese. There are a few other Chinese men and men of colour attending the studio, and they are typically not as integrated into the studio's community.

I don't understand the exact problem. (Note, I'm not saying there isn't one - just that I don't get it from your post) I don't have a problem with flirtatious comments from men (married or not) so long as I don't feel harrassed or uncomfortable. Do you mean there is mainly a white clientele and that the owner is treating Asians differently from the rest of the clients?

pharmaplus87 wrote:

i was rude to him the last time i entered the studio, because as i was leaving, he was having a conversation with a young woman that had nothing to do with yoga: where she lived, how far away it was from the studio, etc. i clearly interrupted his conversation, and asked him a question in English (something administrative i was about to ask anyway and didn't have anything to do with this particular situation). Even though it wasn't directly concerned with me, it was a situation I'd encountered numerous times before: a white male chatting with an asian female with increasingly personal overtones that had nothing to do with the situation. Furthermore, this conversation was entirely in English which I felt was a willing ignorance of the local language and customs -- problematic because he is the studio owner.

He didn't get the unwritten message, however, and continued having his conversation even after I left the desk. Therefore, i'm torn between frustration that he didn't get the message that repeated conversations with young women as a married man is flirtatious and improper, that what he was doing had racial overtones, and between my own concern over being rude to the owner -- I had no good intentions in mind, and was offended by his behaviour.

It is not your job as a white person to speak for the Asian women the owner is speaking to. If you feel that you are being ignored and not served as a client, that's one thing. But this sounds like something different. I can see from your profile that you are a man. Please don't speak for women. Support them if they ask for help. Step in if the situation demands it. Otherwise, if a young woman wants to engage in some flirtatious dialogue with a man (marital status is completely irrelevant), stay out of it.

Sun, 2013-04-14 22:00

pookie

pharmaplus87 wrote:

He didn't get the unwritten message, however, and continued having his conversation even after I left the desk. Therefore, i'm torn between frustration that he didn't get the message that repeated conversations with young women as a married man is flirtatious and improper, that what he was doing had racial overtones, and between my own concern over being rude to the owner -- I had no good intentions in mind, and was offended by his behaviour.

I know you said alot more but....how is the bolded statement above any possible concern of yours???

I dunno, I'm getting a very moralistic tone from your post that frankly bothers the heck out of me.

Mon, 2013-04-15 12:14

milo204

i think it's a stretch to assume "adultery" is taking place here....also, homosexuality is a crime in some places but i wouldn't advocate a citizens arrest for it.

Mon, 2013-04-15 15:10

Unionist

Sorry milo, I forgot to locate and insert my sarcastic emoticon.

Mon, 2013-04-15 18:35

#10

milo204

thanks for clarifying! it's messed up how much peoples private lives are subject to controls and laws by states....

Mon, 2013-04-15 23:04

#11

Unionist

Adultery is apparently a crime in Taiwan: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adultery#Asia The owner may be attempting, or possibly conspiring, to commit a crime. Perhaps some legal advice may be in order as to whether a report to the authorities, or even a citizen's arrest, is indicated? Failing that, I think Sineed's advice is well taken.