Not Her Shame

Victims have a right to anonymity without judgement, there are many reasons to need it, having said that, these are not Victorian times. We have not been sullied. It is not our shame.

Quote:

Instead, it was a Winnipeg police detective, there to tell her Rinelle had been beaten, sexually assaulted and left for dead beside the Assiniboine River. When she rushed to the hospital, Harper didn't recognize her badly beaten daughter…..

 

Sexual assault victims aren't usually identified publicly, but Rinelle's parents allowed police to release her name while they searched for her attackers. Tips poured in and two young men, age 20 and 17, were arrested Tuesday. They face charges of attempted murder and sexual assault….

They are also accused of aggravated sexual assault on a 23-year-old woman later that same night.

 

Pasted from <http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2014/11/13/rinelle-harper-winnipeg-beating_n_6153064.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular>

 

Her parents allowed her name and photo to be released to help find her assailants.

Quote:

[REDACTED]'s father [REDACTED] delivered a heartbreaking victim impact statement in a Halifax court Thursday before learning that the young man who pleaded guilty in the prominent child pornography case involving his daughter will not receive jail time.

The case captured national attention last year after [REDACTED]'s death at age 17. Her name cannot be published due to a statutory publication ban.

Pasted from <http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2014/11/13/impact-statement-halifax-child-porn-case-trial_n_6154552.html?utm_hp_ref=canada>

We know her name, and she is no longer alive, her father wrote about what happened to her after her suicide until  arrests were made.

For some reason the judge put a publication ban on her name.

I'd like to expand this thread to include the names of all the women who come forward for less severe incidences too.

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2014/12/11/ndp-sexual-harassment-assault_n_...

She said when he picked her up, he joked about his sexual prowess. She remembered him telling her that in life you need to marry someone who will shore up your image but then you can sleep with whomever you want. He added that his wife wasn’t a jealous person. Instead of driving her home, she said, he drove her to his home.

She said he told her this would be easier for him since they were both supposed to attend advance polls the next day and they could go together. At the outset of the campaign, Ratelle said the candidate had told his campaign team that long days might turn into long nights and that there was a bedroom in his basement for such occasions.

When they arrived at his house, she said he told her he needed her help with something on the computer. They went to the basement, where she said the computer was already turned on and porn was playing on the screen.

He started playing a video, Ratelle said, “and told me, ‘this is what I like.'"

Ratelle said she told him she had had enough and needed to go to bed.

His wife and children were home.

“That night, he came down three times to the room. Lay in the bed beside me. Every time I would ask him what he was doing, and he said he enjoyed looking at my body.”

She was wearing a shirt and underwear, she said. He was dressed.

“He would take off the sheets and stay there and look at me.”

The second and third times, she said, he ran his fingers over her body. She said she told him she didn’t want to see him and to wake her only when it was time to head to the advance polls.

She saw him only a few times after that, casual sightings at the campaign office.

Ratelle said one of her friends told her she was crazy to have stayed on the campaign.

“I told [my friend] it was my first political campaign and I really need the experience,” she said.

Women are embarassed to admit what they tolerated for work but if they don't tolerate it they don't get to work. The desire to not let the wife know also seems common. Women are also groomed by the media to accept abusive behavior in the form of aggressive "passes" which I am sure is how this man defines what he did.

It is brave for these women to come forward as they are. I include the young NDP woman who confessed the details of her situation. I applaud her honesty. We need to get away from the stranger in the bushes perception we have of sexual predators and describe how it really happens. Only then can we help women to be prepared for such events and devise education programs that ensure men know exactly where the lines are and what the ramifications are for crossing them.

rhubarb wrote:

Bacchus wrote:

We should do both. The former because of the sad world we live in, the latter to improve said sad world

Yes.

I wonder though how to encourage young men like those who attacked Rinelle Harper ?  

The only way is to attack rape culture and to help communities to heal themselves so their young men don't grow up to be brutal and young women don't have to leave home for an education.