Eight-year-old told to put on her top at public pool

Grow the fuck up.

Look, you people should sit back, relax, and stop misinterpreting each other's comments. Better yet - write clearly. Why the hell do people take offence when they're allies and all saying the same thing? That's how wars start.

For parents, at what age would you deem it inappropriate for a female child to be topless at a public pool?

I haven't given it much thought before now but I don't think I would let my 9 year old.  I'm not sure about my 5 year old. That still kinda feels off to me.

Unionist wrote:

Poor child.

How old are your daughters Unionist?

Paladin1 wrote:

Unionist wrote:

Poor child.

 

How old are your daughters Unionist?

I think around 4 or 5 was the last time my daughter took her top off at a park to get wet. It's a parents choice, staff shouldn't have interfered.

Having said that, it's kind of silly to claim that girls in our society are not sexualized before puberty.

I don't think it is good for a child to be so sheltered that they are unaware that girls who don't wear a top in public are going to be looked at and judged. If they still want to do it, fine, but they should be armed with the information so they can make an informed decision. If she whips off her top at recess she will be humiliated. She is old enough to experience it so she is old enough to know about it.

Catchfire wrote:

Yes, and the best way to discover the fucked up double standards of society is to be shamed by a stranger in a public pool.

Is it possible to have a good discussion about this? I am doubting it.

That's my point. The pool rules should be changed. As noted it is not illegal for women to not wear tops in Ontario. We can stop lifeguards from applying double-standards but we can't protect children from the comments of playmates or from being ostracized. My brother-in-law joked about teaching my unborn baby the wrong words for things, like calling a table a chair and vice versa.

Adults, or even teens, know when they are bucking conventions. This little girl didn't know that. She wasn't emotionally prepared. What if she had friends at that pool?

Unionist wrote:

Old enough to pack heat.

 

So like a hunting licence? 14 or so?  Would you object to your 14 year old daughter going topless at a public pool?

I know it's natural for you to be sarcastic, make passive agressive jabs and bring topics you don't like off course. I get that.  But as a newish parent I'm genuinely curious and interested about parenting and how to set my daughters up for success. Is there really a need to bring anti-gun sentiments and arguments from other threads into this one?

quizzical wrote:

i've always found it odd this fixation on women's nipples being different then men's. i mean wtf?

Well, speaking as a male, if a total stranger came up to me on the street and cupped his or her hands around my breast area, I'd probably be like "Jesus Christ, get away from me you jerk!", but otherwise, probably just forget about it, maybe file it away under "odd stories to tell my friends".

Now, granted, I'm not a woman, but if I was betting money on how many women would evince the same degree of lackidaisicality that I would to having their breasts grabbed by a total stranger, I'd bet on the number being in the low single digits. Very low, in fact.

At least Guelph isn't challenging anyone's right to bare arms.

Unionist wrote:

 

That's because I support gender equality and oppose the imposition of "modesty" on women (some call it "sexualization", but I see it simply as subordination, subjugation). The fact that you used the word "daughter" rather than "child" may help people understand where the problem lies.

 

 

I think you hit the nail on the head and you're absolutely right. People like me are the problem. I wouldn't let my daughter go topless because of a percieved modesty issue. It's not acceptable in the public. I recognize how I'm doing more harm than good and will work on it.

lagatta wrote:

There was also a little girl (perhaps his sister) with no top, and nobody saying anything about either child.

You don't have to answer this, but... how did you know it was a girl?

I think I heard her parents saying her (typically feminine) name. Not that it really matters anyway; I most definitely don't have any pervy interest in small children.

However I was thrilled that a friend has a new kitten, and I could pet him. Hope that isn't pervy.

You don't have to answer this, but...how do you know the kitten is a him?

Quote:

One of our cats has a love-hate relationship with water. But that's a story for another thread.

Love to drink it.

Hate to be touched by it.

Our previous cat, Ernest, would totally lose his shit if a little water got on him, like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Our current cat, Olivia, goes outside when it's a light rain and comes in all damp and doesn't give a crap.  We think (for other reasons too) that she's part Asian Fishing cat.

Any cat with some Turkish Van in its DNA will probably behave uncharacteristically around H2O as well.

Wait though!  Her mouth, or just her head??

Maybe she kind of wanted to be baptized.

Midnight, she was pitch black, and the drip was right between her eyes just above by about a quarter inch.

One night when I had taken a cab home the driver asked me if she was real because she was posed upright like the statues and her eyes glowed green, I guess from the reflection of the lights. She was a bizarre cat. She liked sitting on top of open doors. Occasionally she would jump down a foot in front of people understandably freaking them out often causing mishaps as people tripped over their feet to avoid her.

A friend used to come over when she was a kitten and tease her by running his hand up the the edge of a doorframe and he never let her "win". He stopped doing it as she got bigger because she would easily have caught his hand. Little did he know she was just biding her time. When she was about a year old, maybe younger, she leaped on his back all claws out and used it as a launch pad to jump over his head.( He had quite naturally bent forward when she hit.) I don't think I have ever laughed so hard or for so long before or since.