In some parts of Canada schools are still out until next week, so some of us are staying in relaxed holiday mode for a few more days.
In that spirit, we share these New Year’s offerings for our leaders (or at least a handful of them) – some tasteless and sophomoric song parodies.
Get out your ukuleles, banjos, guitars and pianos and sing along.
Lament of the Unions That Supported Doug Ford
(to the tune of “Your Cheatin’ Heart”, by Hank Williams)
We voted you in, now you make us weep
We won’t forget the pledges, you did not keep!
You seemed honest and sincere, all through and through
But your false promises showed the real you!
(Bridge)
If not-with-standing
Is your real game,
You haven’t the right
And call our name!
You wanted our votes, so you said one thing
But back-to-work is what you now sing.
Your sneaky heart will pine someday,
And crave the support you threw away!
Chrystia on Trudeau’s Mind
(to the tune of “Georgia on My Mind” by Hoagy Carmichael)
Chrystia, Chrystia
The whole day through
An old, bitter song
Keeps Chrystia on my mind
I said Chrystia, Chrystia
A song of you
Comes as loud and clear
As headlights through the blinds!
(Bridge)
Other rivals challenge me,
Others plot so carefully,
Still in troubled dreams I see
The road leads back to you
I said Chrystia, Chrystia,
No peace I find,
Just a bitter song
Keeps Chrystia on my mind!
Just a bitter song
Keeps Chrystia on my mind!
The Conservatives’ Ode to Their Leader
(to the tune of “Blue Moon”, by Richard Rodgers & Lorenz Hart)
Oh Pierre …
You saw us standing a-lone
Without a hope in our heart
With no winner of our own!
Oh Pierre…
You knew what we were waiting for,
You heard us say a pray’r for
A nasty fighter we could die for!
(Bridge)
And then there suddenly appeared before us,
The only one our arms could ever hold
We heard somebody shout: “Please adore me!”
And when we looked, we were completely sold!
Oh Pierre! Now we are no longer alone,
With only longing in our hearts
And no true right winger of our own!
Quand Legault dit bonjour aux Québécois
(to the tune of ‘Quand le Soleil dit Bonjour aux Montagnes’ by Lévis Bouliane)
Quand le Chef
Dit bonjour à son peuple,
Le peuple obéira pour toujours
Si le Chef
Dit “aucun hijab aux écoles”
Le peuple l’applaudira avec ferveur.
(Bridge)
Écoutez étrangers!
Vous n’êtes guère bienvenue ici,
Chez nous, on veut que tout le monde conforme!
Quand Legault
Dit bonjour aux Québécois
Les Québécois doivent entièrement l’obéir.
Jagmeet Singh Serenades Justin Trudeau
(to the tune of “You’ve Got a Friend” by Carole King)
When you’re down and troubled
And you need some love and care
And your minority is not going right …
Close your eyes and think of Jagmeet…
And soon I will be there …To brighten up even your darkest night
You just call out New Democrat …
And you know wherever we are
We’ll come running, to support you again!
Con-fi-dence and sup-ply-aye … All you have to do is ca-all
And we’ll be there … You’ve got NDP’s votes!
If the skies above you grow dark and full of clouds
And mean Pierre Polliver begins to blow
Keep your head together … And call out Jagmeet loud
Soon you’ll hear me knocking at your door.
You just call out N-D-P
And you know wherever we are
We’ll come running, running, yeah, yeah, to support you again
Con-fi-dence and sup-ply-aye
Go ahead and call that vote … We’ll be there, yes, we will!
Now, ain’t it good to know that you’ve got a friend
When those voters can be oh so cold?
They’ll hurt you, yes, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them, oh, but don’t you let them.
You just call out New Democrat, And you know wherever we are Support rabble today!
We’re so glad you stopped by! Thanks for consuming rabble content this year.
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Nick Seebruch, editor
We’ll come running, running, yeah, yeah, to keep propping you up
Con-fi-dence and sup-ply-aye … All you have to do is call
And we’ll be there, yes, we will
You’ve got a friend … You’ve got a friend
