It’s a weird week when Chief Julian Fantino of the Toronto police looks better than Prime Minister Paul Martin.

What did the chief do? At a press conference, he was asked about the son of a former chief being implicated in a scandal on the force. “What do you want me to do?” he asked, “Get out the crying towel?” It was what you might have liked to say yourself, and, of course, they did want it. It made you think the chief has access to his gut, and knows the difference between public and private matters, unlike many in our Oprah-tized world. They can ask how he feeeels about public stuff, but not private. Hey, maybe he doesn’t need the 17 PR people he has on staff. They wouldn’t have told him to bark back at the news media that way.

The journalists didn’t give up. One asked whether he had talked to the former chief. He grunted that he had. “How did it go?” asked the reporter. The chief began to answer, then caught himself, “Uh-uh, that’s personal. I’m not getting into it.” Round two to the chief. Media: zero.

Meanwhile, on Parliament Hill, a 1995 memo got leaked, and tossed the sponsorship scandal back in the lap of then finance minister Paul Martin. It was from self-promoting (I’m sure he wouldn’t object) Liberal Warren Kinsella, when he worked for the feds. It implied that finance minister Martin had funnelled money to a lobby group, Earnscliffe, to fund their role, even back then, as the command HQ for his assault on Jean Chrétien’s leadership. Everyone in Ottawa knows Earnscliffe has been waiting to go off like a bomb. They lobby the government, and now they are the government. The mystery is why it took this long.

I don’t know which side, if any, is right, but Kinsella lacked the usual smirk in his voice on air. He didn’t need it. He’d had the prescience to lay a paper trail, 10 years ago!

But the point is (to the extent these monkeyshines have one) the ploy would not have occurred had Paul Martin acted with the minimal grace even a triumphant politician normally musters. You won, Paul. You are Prime Minister. Yet your guys continue to root out Chrétienism. They hound Sheila Copps out of her riding, kiss off John Manley, treat the piddling (all right, irritating) sponsorship program like the antichrist so they can pillory the Chrétien forces as depraved. Of course the Chrétienites will bite them on the bum if they get a chance. I think the Chrétienites have been restrained until now. After a while, voters notice: There’s an ungenerosity and vengefulness in the Martin camp, not traits ordinary people can afford to indulge much. It feels sort of yucky.

Then, midweek, B.C. Liberal Tony Kuo goes on TV and weeps buckets because Paul Martin’s guys won’t let him contest a nomination he’s worked at for a year. That, too, wouldn’t register, except that Paul Martin has yammered so much about how he will vanquish the “democratic deficit.”

Here’s the problem with Paul Martin (well, this week’s problem; they do proliferate): He talks too much and does too little. He even talks too much about doing things, instead of just doing them.

Who else looks good compared to Paul Martin? How about Abdurahman Khadr, of the “Welcome Back” Khadrs, who was in Afghanistan, joined the CIA, then came “home.” He’s the family’s black sheep. He described an on-line petition to strip them of their citizenship as un-Canadian. He’s right. Think how many of us could lose citizenship just for being offensive. I’d start with — don’t get me started. Anyway, they only have 15,000 names. Rick Mercer got a million wanting to make Stockwell Day change his name to Doris.

Even when Abdurahman is being bad, he does it with a wink. He said none of his family could be a suicide bomber because no one has the guts. I may vote for him as The Greatest Canadian in the CBC contest. He has the right combination: self-deprecating chutzpah.

Or take Eddie Belfour. After a game in the Ottawa series, the media asked if he was getting inside the Senators’ heads. Aw, said Eddie, “that’s psychology.” End of discussion. Then he went out and stoned them. We never did find out how he feels about how they feel. Not his job. PM, take note.

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Rick Salutin

Rick Salutin is a Canadian novelist, playwright and critic. He is a strong advocate of left wing causes and writes a regular column in the Toronto Star.