(Editor’s note: This is Keith’s first rabble.ca column, written from Cedar Rapids, Iowa. He will, he says, “present a perspective from a progressive in the heartland of the US of what people in ordinaryville are really thinking and feeling.”)

The Earth-shaking steps that MP Belinda Stronach took — walking across the Commons’ floor to the warm embrace of PM Paul Martin, a cabinet post, a government saved (for now) and the undying enmity of the CPC — were unheard south of the border.

Amazingly, most American newspapers, including the one I work for, carried a brief wire story that Martin’s government had survived a no-confidence vote tied to a budget bill, said by many Canadians to be the most progressive in 30 years.

Sadly, the Stronach affair was all but unmentioned in these reports and Americans, as they are wont to do when confronted with dispatches beyond their borders, shrugged and went back to reality TV.

Any savvy American editor should have realized that the story met many of the requirements of great journalism — conflict, sex, betrayal, power, intrigue, and so on. To top it off, Stronach is even reportedly a Friend of Bill (Clinton).

But go ahead and check with the paragons of salacious tidbittery, Fox News. Their online archives hold only one Stronach story from last June.

I tried explaining what a great story this is to my American friends but the problem is in order to get to the juicy details, I have to present a short but concise primer on the Canadian parliamentary system.

That gives me 90 seconds to summarize volumes of political theory before the typical American’s eyes glaze over and the opportunity is lost. By the time I get to the nearly country-music quality of Stronach’s cheating heart layin’ a hurt on poor Peter MacKay, all I get in response is “but what about her and Clinton?”

Okay, try this, I say: imagine Hillary Clinton standing next to President Bush who is announcing her defection to the Republican Party and her position as the new Senate majority whip.

Incomprehensible stares follow.

Alas, I am reduced to showing pictures of Ms. Stronach for effect. Shall I try to explain the sponsorship scandal? Why bother — most Americans have forgotten the basic facts about Watergate.

If you think this too harsh an assessment, come to any street corner in the US and ask passersby who Paul Martin is. The best guess you may hear is perhaps he was the fifth Beatle.

An exhaustive Google search reveals but one mainstream US-based column about the whole Stronach affair, CNN’s “senior” political analyst Bill Schneider’s “Political Play of the Week” on May 20.

Of course, like a good American pundit writing about our neighbour to the north, the story has to be preceded with the requisite bit of Canada-bashing:

“A political sensation in Canada. Isn’t that an oxymoron?” and “It’s like a film noir. Betrayal. Dangerous liaisons. In an exotic and alluring locale — Canada?”

So put on your toque, fry up a mess of back bacon and join Bill on the little joke, eh?

After regaling his viewers with the lurid and lusty tale, Schneider mentions the government survived by one vote (and it wasn’t Stronach’s but he doesnâe(TM)t tell you that — it might ruin the story).

Schneider seems amazed to discover that there is conflict, sex and, good gracious — brass knuckles politics in Ottawa! Apparently he forgets the Trudeaus and those Quebec separatists, but then again, what’s a little historical amnesia for a journalist whose sun rises and sets on Capitol Hill?

But comes Schneider’s unforgivable ending:

“Canada has been moving away from the United States on policies. Like same-sex marriage. And marijuana. And Iraq. But Canada’s politics are beginning to look more and more American.”

Insulted Canadians can send politely worded letters of indignation to CNN. Oh hell, let the snarky bastard have it. I’m sure he’d especially like letters from Canadian pot-smoking same-sex couples engaged in anti-war work as would any of us. Seriously.

Expect nothing to come of it, of course. Most Americans have already erased British MP George Galloway’s scathing tirade in our Senate from their consciousness as the ravings of an ill-mannered Brit.

Down here if it isn’t about us, at least find an American connection or say something about us if you want our media to notice. Not that our pundits could write it without resorting to condescending insults or demonstrating a knowledge of Canada broader than that contained in a Fodor’s guide.

But when Fox and the rest of the American Murdochians can’t recognize a good sex and politics story from just across their border, I must conclude that our cultural myopia has reached bewildering levels, even for us.

Keith Gottschalk

Keith Gottschalk

U.S. Keith Gottschalk has written for daily newspapers in Iowa, Illinois and Ohio. He also had a recent stint as a radio talk show host in Illinois. As a result of living in the high ground...