Alberta Premier Jason Kenney. Image: Government of Alberta/Flickr

There’s no longer any need to feel helpless if your kids think Greta Thunberg is cool, your neighbour tells you she’s not going to use Roundup on her dandelions anymore, or you think you’ve spotted a foreign-funded environmentalist cruising around your neighbourhood in a green Tesla.

The House Un-Albertan Activities Committee is on the job and its environmental snitch line is now accepting emails. Anything you say may be taken down and used against somebody who runs afoul of Premier Jason Kenney’s $2.5-million inquiry to ferret out foreign-funded eco-subversives.

And it’s never too early to say something if you’ve seen something! Or even if you only think you’ve seen something. The time is now to stop the green peril emanating from Rockefeller Center in New York City! Who ya gonna call?

So don’t wait to drop the dime! Boot up that iPad and start typing … [email protected].

Here in Alberta, anyone can join the committee for the defence of the oilsands.

“At this stage of the process, I’m focused on information gathering and fact finding, and that’s why it is critical that I hear from anyone who has valuable information to share,” said Steve Allan, the accountant from Calgary who’s commissioner of the inquiry that’s causing more chuckles on the West Coast than the original Steve Allen Show.

In addition to the enviro-snitch line, the inquiry has a cool website that tells about what the commissioner will do, which apparently includes “planning the next steps of the inquiry,” an activity that may or may not include taking actual testimony from actual people.

But first, Commissioner Allan’s got side trips planned to Washington, Toronto, Vancouver and Haida Gwaii, all nice places where the inquiry has no authority whatsoever. He might want to bring along a hat and a pair of sunglasses for his visits to the latter two stopovers.

The inquiry has a FAQ page with answers to some of the pressing questions you may have, including the important news that “various parties are assisting the commissioner,” nothing the inquiry does is subject to the Freedom of Information and Protection of Privacy Act, and “the commissioner may also pursue the attendance or testimony of persons located outside the province of Alberta.”

It’ll be interesting to see how that last bit works out, seeing as the inquiry has no jurisdiction outside the province of Alberta. Well, there’s no reason you can’t ask nicely!

The web page also suggests the commissioner won’t be available for media interviews — but don’t worry, folks, the website will be updated from time to time.

Oh, and about that Vivian Krause person … the Vancouver blogger accused by her critics of being a conspiracy theorist is important enough to rate her own FAQ on the inquiry website, but about all it says is that Allan will be conducting “a thorough, independent and impartial assessment of the relevance and value of Ms. Krause’s work.” What the heck kind of a vote of confidence is that?

Full disclosure: I have been to Rockefeller Center, but I was just a tourist. Really. I have never been invited to the 56th floor. I am not now, nor have I ever been, a member of the Green Party of Canada. DJC

David Climenhaga, author of the Alberta Diary blog, is a journalist, author, journalism teacher, poet and trade union communicator who has worked in senior writing and editing positions with The Globe and Mail and the Calgary Herald. This post also appears on David Climenhaga’s blog,

Image: Government of Alberta/Flickr

David J. Climenhaga

David J. Climenhaga

David Climenhaga is a journalist and trade union communicator who has worked in senior writing and editing positions with the Globe and Mail and the Calgary Herald. He left journalism after the strike...