April 25 – For Immediate Release
Group Claims Responsibility for Summit Weaponry
Applauds Police Satire
Following yet another nabbing of Jaggi Singh (this time, at the Summit of the Americas in Quebec City), and his court appearance today on charges for possession of a weapon (a humongous catapult), the group DIST issued the following statement:
Our group, the Deconstructionist Institute for Surreal Topology (DIST) was responsible for the enormous catapult which helped lay siege to the Summit, and launched stuffed animals (infected with the plague) from inside the security zone.
Prominent perma-protester Jaggi Singh has been nabbed and charged with possession of our catapult.
Jaggi is not a member of our group, and has never been a member of our group. Nor will we ever let him become a member of our group, as his sense of humor does not meet the rigorous standards required by DIST. Jaggi was not involved in any way with any aspect of the project’s planning, nor with catapult construction and deployment. Nor does Jaggi have the chutzpa necessary to smuggle a 25×10 foot catapult into the most heavily fortified city in Canadian history.
Furthermore, we admonish him for managing to steal credit for our catapult. While it may not be his fault that the police were stupid enough to charge him for its possession, he should have known better than to take a look at it during the protest. It is no wonder fellow activists call him Braggi Singh.
DIST would also like to applaud the brilliant satirical techniques employed by security forces. We thought we had reached the pinnacle of irony with our teddy-bear launching siege equipment, yet the security forces manage to upstage us with these absurd charges against Singh. We are humbled – this is even better theater than when they charged him with assault for speaking too loud into a megaphone.
The kidnapping of Singh is also a brilliant strategic move, since with each nabbing, the size of his ego doubles. Soon, he will be so intolerable, that none of his fellow activists will be able to stomach working with him.
The catapult was deployed by members of the medieval bloc (they wore pots on their heads, and shields made of pot lids). Another group built the catapult, and rabble.ca publisher Judy Rebick arranged the funding. She will testify today at the hearing at the Palais de Justice, 9:30 a.m. in Quebec City.
For more rabble news coverage of the Quebec Summit and its aftermath, please click here.