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Canada’s digital spy agency, the CSE, has refused to release to The Toronto Star the number of privacy violations they’ve incurred since 2007. The Star only requested the number of privacy violations. No personal details, no details at all. Just “How many times did you guys mess up?” And the CSE refused because they said it would “provide insight into” its operations.

What possible insight can you get from the number of privacy violations? Is that number the missing link in the terrorists’ plan to blow up the parliament buildings? Is it the code they need to hack into the mainframe? More likely, the CSE is afraid of the one actual insight you could get from the number of privacy violations, which is “Wow, that’s a lot of privacy violations. Maybe we should do something about that.”

This comes shortly after the revelation that the CSE shared an unknown number of Canadians’ internet activity records with foreign countries for a “number of years.” Which is barely a bigger outrage than the fact they mass collect our internet activity records. But the outrages will keep coming, because this huge, secret agency has no meaningful oversight. And when powerful people act with impunity, injustice predictably follows.

So if there’s a Canadian Edward Snowden and you’re watching this, it’s time to blow the whistle. And if you do, I will reward you with this coupon for 100 free foot massages. You can be a guy or a girl, doesn’t matter. But it expires in 2017, so… clock’s a-tickin.   

This video originally appeared on The Toronto Star

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Scott Vrooman

Scott has written and performed comedy for TV (Conan, Picnicface, This Hour Has 22 Minutes), radio (This is That), and the web (Vice, Funny or Die, College Humor, The Toronto Star, The Huffington Post,...