Charles III, King of Canada, as seen in his official Canadian portrait, and he’s got the gongs to prove it!
Charles III, King of Canada, as seen in his official Canadian portrait, and he’s got the gongs to prove it! Credit: Millie Pilkington Credit: Millie Pilkington

Where the hell is our head of state? I speak, of course, of His Majesty, Charles the Third, by the Grace of God King of Canada and His other Realms and Territories, Head of the Commonwealth.

One would think, wouldn’t one, that in a grave national crisis, a real head of state would speak up for the state of which he was head?

And yet here we Canadians are – Charles III Dei Gratia Rex showing up on more bronze-electroplated nickel Loonies in our pockets by the day now – facing what is supposedly our gravest national crisis since World War II, and what does our sovereign gentleman have to say about the fact the most ungentlemanly president of the United States wants to make Canada the 51st state and, if we won’t come along willingly, he’ll squeeze us till the pips squeak? 

Crickets, apparently!

Actually, it’s worse than crickets. 

We’re reliably informed that Charles, or some royal bureaucrat in his employ at Buck House, thinks the threatened takeover of one of his other Realms and territories is none of the King’s royal business.

To quote The Canadian Press, on January 26, “A spokesperson for Buckingham Palace said Trump’s takeover threat is ‘not something we would comment on.’” You can almost hear the spokesthingy’s irritating plummy voice uttering those words, can’t you?

Why the hell not? Charles is the King of Canada, is he not? 

Well, CP dug up a professor, supposedly an expert on the role of the Crown in Canada, to explain to us poor commoners that the King “serves in a ceremonial and apolitical role.”

“He won’t comment on issues facing Canada of his own accord, nor should we want him to do so,” the CP’s expert patronizingly informed us. (Thank you for that, professor.) And anyway, the author of the CP report continued, “If the King were to respond to Trump on his own, it could make him a target.” 

Well, we can’t have that, especially when the fellow making a finger pistol and waggling his thumb is none other than His Mightiness* Donald J. Trump.

Now it is true, if sometimes honoured in the breach, that the Monarch’s role (or that of his vice-regal proxy) is apolitical when it comes to deciding which party will get to form a government after a close election result. 

Long gone are the days when you could count on a king to get up in his stirrups and yell at the lads, “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more, or close the wall up with our English dead!”

But, still, it is emphatically incorrect to claim that even in a polite constitutional monarchy there is no role for the monarch to play in the Defence of the Realm. (Why do you think, for heaven’s sake, the Royals are always showing up in such nicely tailored military uniforms?) 

Perhaps someone should suggest to King Charles that he say something like this: “We have been forced into a conflict, for we are called, with our allies, to meet the challenge of a principle which, if it were to prevail, would be fatal to any civilized order in the world. 

“It is a principle which permits a state, in the selfish pursuit of power, to disregard its treaties and its solemn pledges, which sanctions the use of force or threat of force against the sovereignty and independence of other states. …

“It is to this high purpose that I now call my people at home, and my peoples across the seas, who will make our cause their own. I ask them to stand calm and firm and united in this time of trial. …”

That sounds about right for the circumstances, don’t ya think?

That was Charles’ grandfather, King George VI, by the way, speaking to the people of Britain, and those of us in what used to known as the Empire, on September 3, 1939. Canada declared war on Germany a week later. 

Now, if Charles III isn’t quite up to making a full speech, perhaps he could take another page from his grandfather’s book and at least come and reside here in Canada until the threat of a Trump takeover has passed. He could buck up his dejected subjects with visits to their steel and aluminum plants, for starters. 

Failing that, even a short visit would be nice, with a few anodyne platitudes tossed around. As the King’s mother said in 2017, “We pray that God will bless Canada and that, over the next 150 years, Canadians will continue to build a better country and a better world.” 

As do we all, Madam. As do we all.

Well, presumably it’s up to us to ask. So let’s not be strangers! We Canadians could all use a royal boost about now. 

And if the King can’t even do that for his subjects … who needs him? 

Seriously, he might as well be Mr. Windsor, and present his passport at the airport like any other visitor when he shows up. 

And we might as well become a republic – although not the disintegrating one next door, thank you very much – with our own Canadian faces on our coins if this is all we can expect from our head of state.

*A title actually considered for the President of the United States. George Washington is said to have had the good sense to veto that notion and settle for the rather more dignified Mr. President. 

David J. Climenhaga

David J. Climenhaga

David Climenhaga is a journalist and trade union communicator who has worked in senior writing and editing positions with the Globe and Mail and the Calgary Herald. He left journalism after the strike...