Message Event Proposal – The Great Fake Lake
Minister/MP:
All government MPs
Organizer:
Jenny Truqué, PMO set designer, image engineer and PM’s hairstylist/cardigan carrier
City:
Faux Muskoka lake in Toronto (steps away from a real lake)
Locations:
“Experience Canada Alley” aka “Northern Ontario oasis”; Fake Toronto; bridge to nowhere
Other Parties Involved:
Lord Cultural Resources (specializing in museum exhibits)
Event:
Selling Toronto and Muskoka to foreign journalists with a “cloud city” Toronto and staged Muskoka scene; oh, and the G8/G20
Event Type:
Chicanery
Strategic Objectives:
1. Showcasing to the world Canada’s natural splendor through an indoor lake, a canoe sculpture, docks and Muskoka chairs. Think of the future tourism dollars and the increased demand for Holodeck vacations!
2. Convincing Canadians that $1.9 million for props and over $1 billion for security is a good deal for a three-day event.
Target Groups:
3,000 inebriated international journalists; credulous Canadians; androids; Na’avi
Desired Soundbite:
Enjoy a bottle of Moosehead while reclining in a deck chair by our reflecting pool. All the comforts of cottage-country without the mosquitoes and no idling for 8 hours on the 400.
Key Messages:
This is a marketing pavilion. Because of our delightful reflecting pool, you will leave with a great impression of Canada. An impression we’ve controlled, stage-managed, and sanitized. You’re getting sleepy, sleepy, sleepy…
Why sit in traffic for hours on end when you can enjoy a frosty beverage in a comfy Muskoka chair, gazing across a bridge at a Toronto cityscape suspended in the air? Can I get you another beer?
Look, the world doesn’t care about complex and arcane policy issues such as maternal and children’s health, aid for developing countries, global warming, or a bank tax. What they want is to be dazzled by staged backdrops and fake trees; things that draw tourists to any country. Witness the millions that visit Disney World every year!
Tone:
Always smiling; peppy yet docile; like an enthusiastic tour guide or Stepford Wife.
Ideal Speaking Backdrop:
Deck chair; Floating office towers; Reflecting pool; suspended canoes; Gary from Reuters doing a cannonball into the “lake”
Ideal Event Photograph:
3,000 journalists paying little attention to the G20 or protestors (who wants the ugly face of reality?) and instead lounging in an inner tube on the fake lake, enjoying a beer (Moosehead); hand-picked journalists in skimpy swimwear; anything that promotes tourism and ignores the G20
Attire:
Bathing suit; Bermuda shorts and Jimmy Buffet t-shirt; moose couture
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