PALM SPRINGS, Calif. (April 1, 2015) — Former Alberta premier Alison Redford has been joined by the woman who once was her chief opponent, recently retired opposition leader Danielle Smith, in the Palm Springs, Calif., strategic consulting firm.
“It’s not every day that a political strategist with the experience and skills of Danielle Smith unexpectedly comes onto the job market,” a spokesperson for the new consulting firm said. “Even though the company is still in its start-up period, Ms. Redford insisted that we acquire Danielle’s services while she remains available.”
“Danielle and Alison are both very excited by the opportunities for synergies their extensive experience in Alberta politics offer,” the spokesperson added.
With combined experience of almost a decade shaking things up at the top levels of Alberta politics, the two proven high-stakes political strategists expect to start booking political clients very soon at the as-yet-unnamed consulting firm, she said.
“We anticipate the market for their strategies to be nationwide, as both Republicans and Democrats get the opportunity to experience their turbo-charged insights gained while running the economy of Canada’s richest province and apply them to issues where success is critical and losing is not an option,” she said. “They’ve really never encountered anything quite like this pair in the United States!”
“Whether it’s issues management, crisis response, reputation recovery, activation and persuasion campaigns, or, of course, basic government relations, Alison and Danielle and their partners will do it all, just as they did in Alberta,” the spokesperson explained.
In the mean time, the new firm’s first client, she noted, is Vitor & Stefan’s Bistro, the trendiest new high-end restaurant and nightclub in Mexico’s popular Cabo San Lucas tourist destination.
“Step One will be getting visitors to associate Cabo with fresher and more upscale marketing concepts like Vitor & Stefan’s, which serves Italian-Ukrainian fusion cuisine that will appeal to a more mature, wealthier clientele than you’d find at older establishments like Señor Boozin’ Kools, which are really just bars catering to young people who want to drink too much and hook-up,” the spokesperson explained.
This story, of course, is completely false, and was just made up as an April Fools joke. I’m pretty sure there is no eatery called Vitor & Stefan’s anywhere in Baja California, although there really ought to be. Can’t say I actually bothered to check, though. Señor Boozin’ Kools sounds like my kinda bar. DJC
Support rabble today!
We’re so glad you stopped by! Thanks for consuming rabble content this year.
rabble.ca is 100% reader and donor funded, so as an avid reader of our content, we hope you will consider gifting rabble with a donation during our summer fundraiser today.
Whether it be a one-time donation or a small monthly contribution, your support is critical to keep rabble writers producing the work you’ve come to rely on as a part of a healthy media diet.
Become a rabble rouser — donate to rabble.ca today.
Nick Seebruch, editor
