Cross-posted from Catch 22 Harper Conservatives
Memo from: Statistics Canada
To: All Canadians
Subject: Mandatory long form census
Due to mounting partisan pressure from peeping toms who want to know your favorite sex position, whether you pee sitting or standing and how many chai lattes you drink every week, our great leader PM Stephen Harper has agreed to reinstate the mandatory long form census. All households that receive the new long form, are now required to follow the instructions and complete the survey. We apologize for violating your privacy and wasting your time.
Below you will find the new Section A which allows for exemptions to households that meet very stringent criteria.
Note: Those who do not complete the survey are subject to arbitrary arrest, detention and severe penalties. An additional $1 billion in enforcement and security has been budgeted for this census.
Advertising
A. Political survey
1) Did you vote Conservative in the last election?
If yes, thank you. You have finished the long form census. If no, continue.
2) Do you donate money to the Conservative party?
If yes, thank you. You have finished the long form census. If no, continue.
3) Are you considering voting Conservative in the next election?
If yes, thank you. You have finished the long form census. If no, continue.
4) Did you vote at all in the last election?
If yes, continue to Q5. If no, continue to Q6.
5) Did you vote for the socialists, separatists, corrupt spawn of Trudeau or tree huggers in the last election?
If yes, continue to complete survey. If no, continue to Q6.
6) In the next election, will you be voting for the socialists, separatists, corrupt spawn of Trudeau or tree huggers?
If yes, continue to complete survey. If no, thank you. You have finished the long form census.
7) Have you ever thought that the census questions were nobody's business but your own?
If yes, thank you. You have finished the long form census. If no, continue.
8) If you could get out of completing the rest of this census by voting for the Conservatives in the next election, would you do so?
If yes, thank you. You have finished the long form census. If no, continue to complete the rest of this invasive census.
Cross-posted from Catch 22 Harper Conservatives
The point of this apparent attempt at satire seems to be to drive home the idea that the census long form is an unnecessary invasion of privacy and a waste of money, and Stephen Harper is correct to be saving us from it.
Only Harper's supporters would find this amusing.
I see Harper has now recruited the State Media - oops, sorry - Canwest newspapers - to launch an all-out attack on Stats Canada now, claiming their crime stats are rubbish. See today's Toronto Sun http://www.torontosun.com/comment/columnists/lorrie_goldstein/2010/07/23...
as an example. It's even cute how they ran different editorials written by different people in each of their papers unlike most of the rest of their content. It's a shame the company just didn't go bankrupt outright.
Excellent, Gary, thank you! But you should precede it with a disclaimer: "Not for the faint of humour."
Even though tea bag conservatives may complain about the long census form, deep down, they will likely be the first ones to complete the forms. Why? They want to be counted. They know that disadvantaged people will be less likely to complete a voluntary form than those better off. If we have very few poor Canadians completing the voluntary forms, then the cons can state that we have very few poor people that need social programs.
My 2 ¢, after getting the long form census 3 times in a row, as soon as i turned 21, and had my own place.
If Stats Can really wants the Census to accurately reflect Canadians, why wouldn't they drop all the questions that are geared towards the demographics of profiling, i.e., the allotment of areas for a particular class of people. I mean the Ethnicity, and Amount of education, coupled with the amount of hours spent working in and around the home for no pay, as well as the ones asking the number of hours spent working either away from the home or in it for pay. Once those, as I see them, potentially profiling questions are removed then the form is much much shorter and everyone can fill them out.
Then again, there is something to be said about the entire Nordic/Scandinavian system that is continually collecting data from all state institutions that interact with the populous in any fashion, and then using that data to develop a much clearer picture of how the nation is doing. All without needing to require a Census. Have to keep in mind that people tend to lie, or at the very least mis-represent things when they are answering questionnaires, even when they have the best intentions and do not intend to deceive.
I am certainly not endorsing the much more invasive seeming system of information collection of the Social Democracies of Northern Europe, i am just mentioning that there is something about their system that is to be admired on certain levels.
NOOOO, BECAUSE ANARCHY IS NOT GOVERNMENT AT ALL ON THE FIRST PLACE. HARPER IS A ZIONIST - LIBERAL - COMMUNIST SELF ELECTED ANARCHIST DICTATOR AND AS I ALREADY STATED...FOR SOMETHING TO FALL FIST HAVE TO SUCCEED UNLESS YOU CONSIDER RAPE, KILL, AND STILL(what forceful unemployment while importing foreigners is) AGAINST US AND OUR FAMILIES AS A SUCCESS WHAT THE CASE WAS AND IS.
HARD TO BELIEVE SOMEONE LIKE HARPER IS CALLED CONSERVATIVE(this individual doesn't share a single European quality and is self proclaimed Zionist - SUCH LIES ONLY EXIST IN CANADA AND USA !!!). STOP LIES AND OFFER PEOPLE THE TRUTH AND NOT YOUR MASS PSYCHIATRY(what this elections are or brainwash with lies) AS REGARDLESS OF THIS VOTING POLES TRUTH WILL CONTINUE TO RAISE AND YOU WILL FACE ONE NOW SOONER THAN LATTER(you are deliberately misleading people on CONSERVATIVE - LIBERAL ISSUES or LYING IN ANOTHER WORDS) !! WE NEED PARTY FOR OUR PEOPLE WHICH WILL REPRESENT OUR INTERESTS AND WILL BE COMPATIBLE WITH THE REST OF THE WHITE COMMUNITY WORLDWIDE(we know what we want and we will get it) !!! STOP THE GENOCIDE AGAINST WHITES NOW !!!
DICTATOR OBAMA = STALIN = BUSH --- USA = SOVIET UNION....LEARN WHO, WHY, AND HOW RUINED YOU…FROM 911 TO AUSTRALIAN FLOODS – WHITE AMERICAN REFUGEES SEEKING ASYLUM IN EXILE RIGHT NOW -- NEW WORLD ORDER MULTICULTURALISM INVASION(using genocide tools) AGAINST WHITES IN EUROPE AND NORTHERN AMERICA WITH HELP OF SWINE/PIG FLUE SYNDROME -- ARIZONA SHOOTING – SCHOOL SHOOTINGS/RAMPAGE PHENOMENA -- WIKILEAKS is CIA -- ESKIMO SARAH PALIN'S "BRIDGE TO NOWHERE" -- LEARN ABOUT REAL HUMAN FLASH EATING MACHINE -- THE REAL DON'T ASK DON'T TELL, BUT DIE !!! -- BREAST FEEDING INSANITY -- CIVIL RIOTS IN ARAB COUNTRIES -- MODERN GOVERNMENT PSYCHIATRY(book of lies) TO CREATE YOU INSANE -- NEWS/MEDIA or simply BIG FAT WORLD OF LIES !!?? -- NEW WORLD ORDER POLITICAL PARTIES(not there for you, but instead to seal your faith for their parliament pay$$ scale !!!! ) http://avsecbostjan.wordpress.com/ or http://avsecbostjan.blogspot.com