The February 28 Oval Office meeting between US president Donald Trump and Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky, a meeting which was broadcast to the world, was a reprehensible display of manipulation and psychological abuse that revealed the unvarnished ugliness and sociopathic personality of the man leading the world’s most powerful nation. Support rabble today!
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Observing the disconcerting dynamics of the meeting it becomes strikingly evident that Trump’s approach to Zelensky reflected a mindset reminiscent of abusers in toxic interpersonal relationships. The tactics employed were not merely diplomatic manoeuvers, but rather an approach that belittled, blamed, and bullied a leader who was advocating for his besieged nation.
One of the most troubling aspects of Trump’s approach was his blatant victim-blaming, which is a tactic rooted in abuse. At the heart of the meeting was Trump’s chilling dismissal of Zelensky’s plight as a leader defending his nation against aggression when he asserted, “You have allowed yourself to be in a very bad position.” This statement encapsulates the pervasive nature of victim-blaming, a hallmark of abusive relationships. By placing the responsibility of Ukraine’s dire circumstances on Zelensky, Trump effectively stripped away the accountability that should be directed toward the aggressor in this scenario — Russia. This rhetorical tactic not only ignored the reality of Russian aggression but also reinforced a narrative that denied Zelensky agency in his own nation’s defence.
Another alarming moment came when US vice-president J.D. Vance insisted that Zelensky express gratitude for US support. He insisted that Zelensky say “thank you” for aid that had been provided, ignoring the fact that Zelensky has thanked the US publicly many times in the past, including during his address to a joint meeting of the US Congress on December 21, 2022. Forcing someone in a subordinate position to show appreciation for that which they desperately need is a manipulative tactic often employed by abusers. This coerced gratitude exemplifies a toxic relationship and positions Zelensky in a vulnerable space — suggesting that any criticism or assertion of agency by Zelensky would be met with accusations of ingratitude. By setting this stage, Trump was not fostering a partnership but rather establishing a power dynamic permeated by manipulation.
Peace, a concept traditionally hailed as a universal goal, was also twisted in this meeting to serve the interests of power. Trump claimed that Zelensky was “not ready for peace,” but in reality, what he meant was that Ukraine should capitulate to Russian demands. This tactic — substituting the idea of just peace with the notion of surrender — is a common manipulation strategy. In pressing for a twisted notion of peace, Trump was advocating for a situation that would leave Ukraine even more vulnerable, effectively portraying surrender as a viable alternative. Such a tactic is a common strategy used by abusers to manipulate their victims into accepting less than they deserve.
Throughout the meeting, Trump repeatedly asserted that Zelensky had “no cards to play” and that “without us, you have nothing.” These statements are indicative of psychological tactics used by abusers to undermine their victims’ reality. By portraying Zelensky’s authority as nonexistent, Trump sought to establish dominance, rendering the Ukrainian leader a mere vassal dependent on American benevolence.
In an attempt to bargain, Trump not only targeted Zelensky but also devalued the lives of the Ukrainian people when he said, “If you get a ceasefire, you must accept it so that bullets stop flying and your people stop dying.” This reductionist viewpoint neglected the complex realities surrounding ceasefires in volatile conflicts, and ignored the reality that a deal without guarantees would set the stage for further Russian aggression and additional loss of Ukrainian life. In doing so, this comment belittled the Ukrainian lives lost in the conflict as mere collateral.
Trump’s frequent interruptions when Zelensky was speaking — exclaiming, “No, no, you’ve already said enough,” and “You’re not in a position to dictate to us” — further illustrated Trump’s intent to exert psychological pressure and control and reinforce a toxic power dynamic, rendering Zelensky’s perspective as inconsequential. Such behaviour is emblematic of abusive dynamics, wherein one party seeks to monopolize the conversation and diminish the contributions of the other. Trump’s blatant disregard for Zelensky’s attempts to advocate for his country signalled an effort to position himself as the only one concerned with seeking peace.
The idea that “the path to peace lies through diplomacy” uttered by Vance, was another tactic used to obscure the aggressive nature of Trump’s demands. This diplomatic coercion, masquerading as a pursuit of peace and stability, implied that Zelensky should navigate an impossible diplomatic landscape created by an aggressor, framing Ukraine’s capitulation as a means to achieve peace.
A particularly perverse comment was Trump’s irresponsible declaration that “You are playing with the lives of millions of people,” which serves as a classic example of projection, wherein the abuser deflects their own culpability onto the victim. The reality is that it is Trump and his administration that are playing with Ukrainian lives, and control the critical military and economic support needed for Ukraine’s survival.
Lastly, it is vital to note that framing American military and economic assistance as a debt owed shreds decades of US policy where they have given aid to friends and allies in their time of need and seen it as investments in peace and stability. Trump’s assertion that “if it weren’t for our weapons, this war would have ended in two weeks” attempts to erase Ukraine’s resilience and agency. The narrative that Ukraine will receive nothing unless they bow to Trump’s demands underlines a relationship built not on partnership but on coercion.
An analysis of this meeting reveals that the tactics employed by Trump and Vance were a masterclass in abusive tactics including: gas-lighting, victim-blaming, and coercive manipulation. This meeting was not a negotiation but an attempt by Trump to force President Zelensky to bow to Russian demands.
As the world reflects on this interaction, it is imperative to recognize that true diplomacy arises out of respect, agency, and mutual understanding — qualities starkly absent in Trump’s treatment of Zelensky. What the world saw transpire in the Oval Office was a signal that the Trump administration values power and control over traditional diplomacy, and that manipulation, degradation and dominance are the tools he will use when dealing with other nations. In doing so Trump has shown that he is no longer part of the Western alliance and has chosen to side with the enemy of Canada and its allies, and this requires them to rethink how they will deal with this new world order in the years to come.
Fareed Khan
Fareed Khan is the founder of Canadians United Against Hate and has written and commented extensively about issues around racism and human rights. More by Fareed Khan